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Does anyone else feel speech is causing 'late' potty training

(28 Posts)
Flowerpup Thu 23-Jan-14 21:31:12

My son is 3.4 yrs and I've tried potty training him 3 times now. Last time it was one week solid bare bottomed indoors and no improvement. I feel he is able to wee in a potty but hasn't the speech needed. ( Please no one say you don't need a lot of speech or use signing ) I feel he needs to say 'Mum I need a wee' if we are out and about or in car but nowhere near capable. HV says his speech improves daily so not worried about that but would love to read a success story of a child of similar age or slightly older that just got it, then learnt to ask or did it click one day, anything..?? I feel such a crap mum as he looks older for his age and he's got his big nappy on! Why is he on the late side? I just don't get it! Don't get me started on all the negative comments from people...

ShoeSmacking Thu 23-Jan-14 21:34:52

Ds is younger but we feel same. Speech delay makes it very difficult! Just keep trying but don't beat yourself up.

excited99 Thu 23-Jan-14 21:40:21

My daughter is a late talker, we didn't have too many problems with potty training but quite a few of the other children that I have met at the support sessions have. They were similar age to your child and not potty trained so it seems there must be a link.

Artandco Thu 23-Jan-14 21:47:36

Not sure. Both mine potty trained early ( 18 ish months), yet didn't talk until 2.5.

Can't you just show them how rather than expecting talking how? Ie I just put seat on toilet and from around a year put them on before bath/ in morning etc. after a few months they started going there by themselves at these times. This then evolved to pants/ toilet/ etc..
Put them on every hr first few days, then became habit and just continued al

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy Thu 23-Jan-14 21:54:20

It was true for DD2, she was almost 4 before it finally really clicked. For her it was partially speech and partially her eczema (very severe, she had to be fully creamed and covered). Once her speech clicked a bit more and she had her hands free again, the potty training soon followed and she was dry during the day within days (still wearing pyjama pants nappies at 4.5, as she's very small and she needs to drink more water not less, those are getting more and more rare thankfully as well).

Leigh802 Fri 24-Jan-14 08:18:19

My DS 3.8 yrs has very limited speech and no ware near PT, I haven't started as he is not aware of when he goes wee or poo's, he wears cloth nappies and does not indicated if he is wet or soiled, he is adverse to nappy changes (fights to stay in a pooey one ) so I usually leave him for a while before changing him. I have been told from a child specialist that he has sensory issues and that is part of him liking a warm pooey nappy, so I'm not Evan trying the toilet training aspect with him to date.

I am still breastfeeding him and have done so since he was an infant, mums please don't flame me on this, if you want to understand the long term benefits of BF I am a member of babycentre.uk breastfeeding babies and beyond :-))

Sorry if I can not be more helpful but do feel that limited speech might be a factor in the reluctance to toilet training. Xo

Leigh ward

Artandco Fri 24-Jan-14 08:33:26

Leigh- I don't think breast feeding has anything to do with potty training

MinesAPintOfTea Fri 24-Jan-14 08:46:48

How delayed is his speech? Can he say "pee" or "poo" rather than full sentances, DS only has 20-30 words and has never put more than 2 together but he can get his meaning across anyway.

Flowerpup Fri 24-Jan-14 09:19:07

He has never said the words 'pee' or 'poo' even after I repeatedly said then when I trained him last time. He uses hundreds of words just not linking together as such. I feel when he does say them, he may just get it. Shall I just keep asking him with a nappy on? When changing him? In the hope he may just say it. He seems so unbothered about toileting, would sit in a dirty nappy, give it more time? A couple of months maybe.

ShadowOfTheDay Fri 24-Jan-14 09:24:48

mine was an early talker - full sentences by 2 etc... (no mummy I don't need to go poop" - whilst standing there straining!!! ) but still didn't potty train till 3.5 .... BUT when she did she got it immediately... not one accident... I just figured she got it when she was ready...

Leigh802 Fri 24-Jan-14 23:43:11

Sorry Artandco
Your right I just get a bit carried away with TMI about myself, a bad Habit of mine, apologizes

To the OP I would let it go for a month or two and re visit, but still at each nappy change keep saying words to him, sounds to me he is just not ready yet, and like you said he is more than happy like mine, to not be bothered sitting in a pooed nappy. X

Leigh

Paintyfingers Sat 25-Jan-14 00:01:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paintyfingers Sat 25-Jan-14 00:02:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paintyfingers Sat 25-Jan-14 00:03:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leigh802 Sat 25-Jan-14 08:09:03

Thank you Paintyfingers
Indeed my DS is a very high needs child, I feel he will be in nappies for some time yet, possibly until 5 or longer, Im going to let him Lead the way, And in no rush at all to have him out of nappies. He loves his boob time and will often go poos when he is cuddled up to to me and feeding, I just love the whole BF aspect.

Leigh

Flowerpup Sat 25-Jan-14 09:36:21

Thanks for the replies - I've tried everything, books, videos, different potty, musical potty, trainer seat on toilet, bribes! He's so stubborn and just couldn't care less. I'm hoping by the summer and def before he starts preschool in September! We all do worry a lot don't we!!

lljkk Sat 25-Jan-14 09:42:08

Most kids just shout a single wee-wee or poo!!! And if they can't hold it for 5 minutes after shouting that they they aren't that ready, anyway.
Not a lot of speech necessary. confused
(DC had speech delay which had no relationship to when they toilet trained)

DC4 was latest in my group (almost 3) because he's a creature of habit & nappies were his habit. Had to be tough with him.

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 25-Jan-14 09:48:55

PT dd2 was a lot harder than dd1 and I do feel her lack of speech contributed to that. Because I couldn't be sure she understood fully and she couldn't really answer my questions. Whether it took longer because I felt I couldn't trust her enough to not use pull ups while out and about or because she didn't fully understand I don't know. Bit of both probably.

She could take herself to the loo. She would run off and say "wee" etc so could do it.

Just the speech was the reason why I couldn't Tahoe her out in pants till she was 2.7

threepiecesuite Sat 25-Jan-14 09:53:20

My dd had very early speech and can talk brilliantly but still having wet accidents most days at aged almost 4yo.

LittleBonnie Sat 25-Jan-14 10:13:13

My DS had S&L delay, I tried to potty train him on many occasions but he didn't get there until he was just over 3 and a half - just in the nick of time for starting nursery! The speech delay wasn't the main problem, he was able to say little words like poo at that age, the problem was that he just couldn't understand what he was expected to do.
When it eventually clicked into place, because he was older than most children when they potty train he rarely had accidents and was in pants day and night after the first month. So there is hope, fingers crossed your DS does the same.

ShoeSmacking Mon 27-Jan-14 23:33:46

Just comig back to this thread because we are struggling. Ds doesn't want his nappy but seems to be unable to understand , or is too scared, to use the potty. An hour screaming tonight. He knows he needs to wee, and can hold it in (kept asking me if he could wee on the floor! Drops would squeeze out then stop when I said no). I'm at my wits end. He is ready but I just can't get him on potty or toilet. He starts therapy next month. Might ask the therapist for advice.

bishboschone Mon 27-Jan-14 23:41:58

My ds is a globally delayed and 2.6. He can't walk so I can't potty train him but for months and months he has been weeing in his potty when he wants to. He will sit on a potty but he prefers to wee standing up so I let him.. Is this an option if they won't sit on the potty? As long as they get the gist of wee going in the toilet or potty who cares how?

ShoeSmacking Tue 28-Jan-14 14:36:36

If let him stand. But he doesn't want to do that either. He's currently gojng upstairs for a poo. Alone. But won't go near potty.

Leigh802 Tue 28-Jan-14 19:16:29

Hi Shoesmacking
How old is your DS

Leigh

Flowerpup Sun 16-Feb-14 22:25:09

Anyone got any success stories in last month? I have family coming for half term and I know I'm going to get asked why he's not PT and I'm dreading it! I know I should just say the truth but all the children in the family have been dry in the day by 2.5 years so DS stands out like a sore thumb. I'm going to try again in 2 weeks time once all settled again

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