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Please advise, at the end of my teherwith PT DD 3.3 :( Sorry its long!

(8 Posts)
BringOn2014 Sun 15-Sep-13 22:06:38

DD is 3.3, we started PT about a month before her 3rd birthday in May sometime. We started at the same time as her best friend, they were born a day apart and do everything together so thought that would help.

She chose her own big girl knickers at the shop, got a 'special' seat and step for the toilet. I stockpiled stickers and small treats.
It seemed she was just ready and picked it up instantly, while her friend had accidents for several weeks DD was completely dry for over a month, then it all changed.

We went on holiday the first week of July and from the first day there were several accidents a day. I put it down to being in a different place/too excited doing lots of stuff on holiday and thought she would get better. She hasnt. Its now been 2 and a half months of accidents. There are dry days but they seem to be few and far between. Most days it is 3-4 accidents and at least 4 visits to the toilet.
When she has accidents, its not that she doesnt get to the toilet in time, she doesnt even try, she just shes wet when shes done. When I ask her why she didnt go to the toilet she just says she doesnt know, I cant get anything else out of her.

I have tried bribery with stickers/chocolate/promises of buying new knickers but it hasnt helped. Tried to do a chart but she threw a tantrum every time she had an accident and didnt get a sticker/tick.
She goes to nursery in the afternoons for 2.5 hours, I have to pack 3 changes of clothes and on two occasions she still needed to borrow clothing from nursery. They have tried stickers with her which went well for the first four days then went back to accidents.

I have also tried taking her to the toilet every 45mins-1hr but she throws herself on the floor and has a masaive tantrum screaming that she doesnt need to go.

I just dont know what to do with her anymore, I thought she was redy but now thinking I should maybe put her back in nappies. Nursery wouldnt be happy as Ive spoken to them and they think I should ride it out. I do think its partially laziness because she KNOWS when she needs to go because when she has a nappy on (for bedtime) she asks if she can pee in her nappy. Im unsure if I put her back in nappies if it will just make her lazier because shes not bothered about having a wet nappy - We tried with pull ups but she never went to the toilet in them just used them as normal nappies.

Sorry this is so long, please help, I feel so useless not being able to sort this out after this long! sad

lorisparkle Mon 16-Sep-13 13:49:40

Ds2 and ds3 both started pt well but regressed after the novelty wore off. The only thing that worked was the calm, uninterested, changing of wet clothes and a reward chart split into sections of the day for when they were dry for that part of the day. We bought chocolate drops for ds3 and they worked well. I personally would not go back to nappies just arm yourself with hundreds of spare clothes and a 'never mind - maybe next time ' through gritted teeth.

lorisparkle Mon 16-Sep-13 13:56:17

Forgot to say I did use the 'dry like me' pads for a while with ds3 just to save the carpet and my sanity!

lorisparkle Mon 16-Sep-13 13:56:19

Forgot to say I did use the 'dry like me' pads for a while with ds3 just to save the carpet and my sanity!

Carmel99 Wed 18-Sep-13 16:57:15

I've had the same problem with my DD who's just turned 3. She was absolutely fine for many months then started having "accidents". There have been no big changes in circumstances, I've checked her out for a UTI and she responds to a prize at the end of the day if she has no accidents, so I know she's doing it deliberately.

It infuriates me that I have to bribe her to get her to use the toilet at 3 years old (stickers aren't enough, it has to be a prize), so I've decided to add a bit of punishment - no TV if she wees on the floor. I've gotta say I'm not looking forward to enforcing it but you gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe try something similar?

BringOn2014 Wed 18-Sep-13 20:20:29

Thanks for your thoughts. Reward chart was what we tried first of all, she just tantrummed when she didnt get a star on it because of an accident but maybe worth trying again.

She does get little punishments, if she has an accident without even trying to get to the toilet then shes not allowed to choose a bedtime story or.not allowed toys in the bath.

Ive spoken to the HV since I first posted this as well but unfortunately found her quite unhelpful. She just said that regression normal and to make sure Im asking her if she needs the toilet frequently.
Nursery have suggested pebbles in a jar for each dry period (before nursery then nursery till bedtime) and a treat of her choice when she gets to 10 pebbles.

I guess Ill have to keep trying these methods and hope something clicks for her soon. Im losing my mind with cleaning up pee, constantly having to wash cushion covers and the washing basket just stinking of stale pee sad I feel awful that she seems to be the only one in nursery to consistently have accidents

lorisparkle Wed 18-Sep-13 23:49:43

Just to say I would be very wary of any punishments for wet / dirty pants. We tried this with DS and he started to hide the pants and you can get into all kinds of psychological problems. From talking to friends many of their children had accidents.

DesperateHousewife21 Tue 24-Sep-13 16:22:25

This sounds just like my ds 3.2. I started PT when he was 2.7 and obv there have been accidents along the way but he seems to have got a lot worse recently.
Nearly every time he goes to nursery he comes home with an outfit change, today they even had to change his shoes! Then he had his hands down his pants on the way out and he'd pooed in them angry

I gave him a few sweets as a treat for not weeing himself yesterday and told him hes not allowed any today and he just didnt seem to care.
That's the main problem, he doesnt care if hes wet he just carries on playing til I change him.

If hes naked he'll happily take himself off to the toilet, that must be a clue?!

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