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Apparently my poo phobic DD thinks poo is 'disgusting' - why??? She's only 3.3.

(11 Posts)
bunchofposy Wed 24-Jul-13 17:40:53

She apparently said this to the childminder the other day. I can't think of any reason DH or I would have given her for this and feel a bit upset about it.

I have known for ages she has major poo issues; after successfully starting to use the loo at 2.11 for wees (of her own accord), she started withholding poo til she was constipated and we had to put her on movicol. To cut a long story short she will now poo in nappy pants (which is better than not pooing) and we've recently moved to Dry Like Me pads and gentle encouragement to sit on the potty or loo again. I know that it is normal, I read the threads on here, and I am not worried (yet).

But WHY does she think poo is disgusting? I feel quite upset as I never wanted her to feel the way I did when I was growing up and couldn't even mention the word poo or wee (to the point where I was hospitalised once with very bad cystitis where I couldn't tell my mum I was haven't problems.) I have always been open about pooing and we poo and wee in front of her and don't make an issue when we change her. We do talk about pooing quite a lot because we're trying to normalise it. We make jokes about windy pops (her word not mine!) and talk about other people who poo!

DH and I are not fastidious about household cleanliness (in fact not as much as we should be!) - maybe I wash my hands a bit too much (OCD) but that's about it. And I guess DH has drink spillage issues.

But otherwise I just don't get it. Has anyone else had this? I had assumed she'd picked it up from a kid at the childminder, but her childminder reckons it is coming from her.

bunchofposy Wed 24-Jul-13 17:48:48

ps just to clarify... I knew she had poo issues but thought she was afraid of 'letting go', or getting out of control and falling into the loo, or the 'plop' or it hurting from the historic constipation. It is only recently that it has emerged that she thinks it is somehow not nice.

My niece had this and got bad constipation as an older child... her mum is, literally, obsessed (to the point of not inviting guests around if she hasn't dusted) with cleanliness and I guess I had judgementally imagined that maybe played a subconscious part - so I basically now feel I or we must be somehow responsible sad

spanky2 Wed 24-Jul-13 18:23:47

I think it is disgusting especially dog poo ! Try putting a nappy to line the potty . On the bright side she is not likely to be a smearer ! My ds2 went through a phase of holding on. He is fine now and wipes his own bottom .

spanky2 Wed 24-Jul-13 18:24:36

I also gave 1 sweet for a wee and 2 for a poo!

bunchofposy Wed 24-Jul-13 18:32:31

Ha ha, well I suppose it is - I just can't think where she's even heard to the word tbh... Will try the nappy liner - hadn't thought of that one. I have tried all manner of food bribery though! Glad to hear it gets better. I know it will, just really don't want it to be a thing for her (it took having a child before I could mention the p word in front of my mother!)

spanky2 Wed 24-Jul-13 18:37:40

I had to send photos of successful potty visits to dh . grin

squalorvictoria Wed 24-Jul-13 18:37:50

We are biologically programmed to be disgusted by certain things, poo being one of them. So I wouldn't worry too much on whether you've done something to make her think that way.

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 24-Jul-13 18:51:03

Maybe you can sort of play it to your advantage? Say, yes, I know, it's horrible isn't it, and the best and easiest way to get rid of it cleanly and nicely is to do it in the toilet and then you can use a wet wipe and flush the poo away.

I think poo is disgusting, obviously a phobia is extreme, but I think it's quite natural not to love it. Maybe you can try to explain it from this angle to say that most people also don't like poo and that's why somebody invented this nice clean way of getting rid of it.

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 24-Jul-13 18:52:47

Also perhaps worth showing her a book about digestion so that she understands it's not anything she's doing, it's just what happens in our bodies and the poo has to come out, because it's not very nice if it sits inside our bodies for a long time and it can make us feel poorly.

bunchofposy Wed 24-Jul-13 19:17:30

Thank you all!

I hadn't thought of it as being biologically natural to find disgusting (though I still don't know where she learned the word!) but that has made me feel so much better.

Am laughing at sending poo photos to DH, bet he loved that!

And yes Yoni that's interesting... maybe it's like telling a child not to be upset when they are - maybe agreeing with her could actually help... I hadn't thought of that.

We look at the digestion human model at the science museum a lot (she thinks the bowels are all coiled up poo!). She loves that so maybe a book is a good idea! I saw this typically open swedish poster once of the human body and was seriously tempted, if only to wind up my mum ;)

This page is such a lifeline at the mo - things on here never seem to happen to people in RL?!

YoniBottsBumgina Wed 24-Jul-13 19:49:56

Disgusting? Could have come from anywhere, TV, childminder, nursery. Not necessarily used to describe poo, although I'd use it about poo quite naturally if the poo was anywhere other than a toilet or a nappy - stepping in dog poo, for example, is disgusting.

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