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Almost two weeks in, should we give up?

(13 Posts)
SunnyUpNorth Fri 19-Jul-13 22:38:50

DD is 2.7, has been using the potty for at least 6 months for a wee before bed etc.

Decided to take advantage of the nice weather and try potty training. Also have a 6 month old ds, so thought it would be handy to do it before he is mobile and can find her 'accidents'!

I started her about 1.5 weeks ago. She is doing ok, but I do have to remind her all the time to use it. Quite often, if she doesn't do a wee for a couple of hours I will ask her if she needs to go. She will sometimes get upset, say no, but then wet herself a few seconds later.

At best she will start to do a wee, realise and manage to hold it and I see her dancing around trying to hold it in and get the potty. She has only managed 3 poos so far in the potty. She now hasn't done a poo for 2 days, and she usually goes every day.

We had a few really good days over the last 3 or 4 days and I thought she was getting it a bit more, but then today was quite bad.

I don't want to undo the good work but going back to nappies but at the same time I don't want to cause problems by forcing her if she is not ready.

I keep reading that if they're ready they will have it totally cracked within a week. Is this the case?

We aren't doing much this weekend anyway so happy to stay at home and carry on trying but if there is no big improvement by Monday should I stop for a while?

If I do stop, how long should I wait before trying again?

Many thanks.

DoItTooJulia Fri 19-Jul-13 22:43:48

I'd stop. Take any pressure away. When children are ready to use the potty all the time a perfect storm happens. They want to use it, they can recognise that they need to go before it happens, they are physically capable of using it and they are relaxed about it.

One tip I found useful was to not use pull up nappies but actual pants that get wet, because that way they feel the wetness.

Leave it a couple of weeks, but have the potty hanging round and talk about it and see what happens! Good luck!

AllIWant85 Fri 19-Jul-13 22:45:35

Does she seem keen to continue? If so maybe keep at it a bit longer. All children train at different ages and at different speeds.

SunnyUpNorth Fri 19-Jul-13 22:58:00

Thanks both.

I am using pants, and just a pull up at night but actually that has mostly been dry in the morning.

She has said a few times that she wants a nappy on, but then at the same time loves the big girl pants and really likes picking out a new pair each day or when she wets them.

She is really pleased when she does do a wee or a poo on the potty but just doesn't seem to be admitting she needs one. Yesterday she told me three times she needed a wee which was great, but today had two accidents and the rest of the time was me reminding her or just putting her on the potty.

We have done a few short trips out locally and she hasn't had any accidents. I made sure she did a wee before we went out.

I think I will give it til Monday as that will be two weeks. If I go back to nappies should I leave it a couple of months? I will still leave the potty out and try and use it when she gets up and goes to bed.

notnowbernard Fri 19-Jul-13 23:01:10


I tried DS at around 2.6 - no way. Gave up after 3 hours shock

Tried again at 2.10. - done and dusted in 2 days

catkind Sat 20-Jul-13 02:05:59

I was coming on to ask exactly that question for my DD, though in a slightly different situation so will do a new thread.
I think your mistake could be asking if she needs to go. Never ask if they need to go. If they thought they needed to go they'd have told you. The answer is always no, usually followed by an accident exactly as you describe, because you've started that train of thought going.
What you do is say DC, time for a potty check now. Or DC, what story would you like to read on the potty? Or in dire straits, DC, sit on the potty now and you can have chocolate.
Once they've got a bit more potty using experience they start to recognise the signs better and tell you more - for DS it took about a week of telling him before he started telling us.

SunnyUpNorth Sat 20-Jul-13 07:23:05

Thanks catkind. I did stop asking as I read somewhere they need to recognise it for themselves. But do you mean I still need to proactively be putting her on the potty at regular intervals, just doing it rather than asking? If so, how often?

SkiSchoolRun Sat 20-Jul-13 07:56:02

If she's too busy to go try the "pause" game (helps if you have pausable telly I suppose - we only have normal telly so we had to have a few DVDs to explain the concept of pausing). We used to say "let's pause dolls/colouring/cafe/Lego etc, I am going to go for wee/make a drink, why don't you try the potty" and then pick the game up exactly where we left off. Worked really well. Dd1 hated being asked to go to the loo. Still does! I soon realised she actually only weed every few hrs. For some reason I had in my head that babies dribbled wee and they had to learn to hold it in (pelvic floor issue moi?!!!!)

RubyrooUK Sat 20-Jul-13 09:01:50

My son is 2.10. We started training a month ago. I was sure he was ready (has been dry at night for months) but he had a huge potty aversion and is generally nervous about change.

Week one - went cold turkey on nappies, celebrated 'no more nappy day'. He had constant accidents as he didn't know how to pee/poo at his own command.

Week two - found a better bribe that he really wanted for motivation (a fizzy sweet blush). He could get it in the potty by sitting there for hours but often was put on potty and then weed shortly afterwards as you have described. Occasionally "caught" wees and poos by luck.

Week three - suddenly got the hang of it. Didn't ask at first but was put on potty a lot and went so didn't have accidents. Was showered in hugely desirable presents (eg DVDs) for successful poos/dry days with masses of going on about what a clever boy he was and why he got the present. Confidence grew massively and he started saying by the end of the week that he needed a wee both at home and nursery.

Week four - still needs prompting in morning to have a wee. And before we go out. But if we are out, he will ask for it (in supermarket, park etc). And he asks at home too without prompting. No accidents so far this week.

Anyway, it sounds to me that your daughter is somewhere between his week two and three. My son was totally ready, which I knew as he understood the theory of pants/potty etc and was dry overnight but found it hard to get over his potty aversion and fear of change. I almost gave up after a week or two but I could see the progress and he was so proud of wearing pants that I didn't want to dent his confidence by going back to nappies.

Obviously he is a few months older, we tried first at 2.4 years but it was clear after three days that he wasn't ready. Each child is different so it might be worth giving it another week or trying again in two months. Sorry - it's hard to tell!

SunnyUpNorth Sat 20-Jul-13 09:09:41

Thanks rubyroo, that is an encouraging tale!
I think it is the fact that I keep hearing that if they are totally ready it will all be done and dusted within a week.

She is getting two chocolate buttons for a wee and a small mini bar of choc for a poo. Maybe I need to up the incentive!

I might back off a bit on the reminding and see if that makes a difference.

Thanks all.

catkind Sat 20-Jul-13 12:07:58

I mean either you leave them to their own devices, or if you can see they need to go and they haven't recognised it (or want a check before you go out or whatever) then you tell them rather than asking them. It seems to be a "thing" with my son and many of my friends' kids that if you ask them the answer is always no, followed swiftly by an accident.
With DS we did really have to take him for very regular checks - even every 20 mins to start with to get rid of his dribbling pee into nappy habit, but sounds like your dd is a bit further on than that.
My DD at the moment is doing great with telling us about poos but we're getting no pees on the potty unless we take her. I think I may be going wrong by trying to apply the same method as DS when she actually needs more leaving alone and less reminding. All rather confusing really, good luck!

RubyrooUK Sat 20-Jul-13 19:33:14

Hm, I have to admit I don't know many children done and dusted within a week! I've just been at a park with about 15 toddlers and apart from one, who trained at 3.6 and got it immediately, it seems to have been a bit of an evolutionary thing for everyone else.

We tried DS with chocolate buttons and marshmallows first but although he wanted them, he didn't want them enough to overcome his potty reluctance. The sour fizzy sweets that his father kept in the car turned out to be his ultimate goal (probably as they are the most tooth destructive - bugger).

Interestingly, he already forgets to ask for a sweet many times now....hope that continues before all his teeth fall out.

Hope it's been a better day today for you, OP.

SunnyUpNorth Sun 21-Jul-13 15:33:54

Thanks Ruby, hope it is going well for you too.

Don't want to speak too soon, but she has told me she needs to do a wee a few times yesterday and today and hasn't had any accidents (even lasted through a soft play birthday party !) so fingers crossed she is getting it.

Thanks for the tips all.

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