Potty to toilet transition - how long does it take??? He's terrified!

[sja76]

Hi All
My son (just turned 3yrs) has in the last 5 wks mastered using the potty on our third attempt trying! He's doing really well both in the house and outside, only using pull ups at night (not rushing for him to be dry at night).

I'm wondering how long it has taken others to progress from potty to toilet?

I've tried having different toilet seats for him to try, talking about it, bribery etc but nothing works. He has a total melt down if I try to get him to use the toilet instead of the potty.

Any experiences/advice gratefully received!! Thanks

[justkeeponsmiling]

Hiya
My son was a similar age when we potty trained him and we had a similar problem - brilliant results on the potty but hysterical when we tried to put him on the toilet.
I got round it with bribery in the end! I promised him a massive tube of smarties (he loves them) and told him he could eat as many as he wanted if he only sat on the toilet for a second. His bum only touched the seat for a nanosecond and I took him off straight away, gave lots of praise (the whole family came in and cheered him on) and the sweets. I did this maybe once a day for two or three days, so he associated the toilet with lots of nice things and also realised that nothing bad was happening while he was sitting on it. We then progressed to only getting a reward if he stayed lon enough to have a wee. The rewards gradually got smaller and eventually stopped, but a couple of months on we still give praise for going to the toilet (by now it's just a "good boy" no standing ovation anymore!)
We didn't use a seat or anything from the start as I didn't want to complicate things by getting him used to a seat at home but obviously wanting him to use a toilet without one whilst we were out and about.
It worked like a dream and only took a week or so.
Also, my advice would be to ditch pull ups at night asap as I found it really confused my DS. Once he was dry during the day and used to the toilet we put bedmats in his bed and he only had an accident for the first couple of nights, after that his body just seemed to adapt naturally.
Good luck!

[Startail]

One day. DD1 saw her DFs (who are actually a year older) jumping on and off the toilet so she did too.

Seriously borrow a toilet trained small boy, as near as possible to your DS age, for the day.

[justkeeponsmiling]

I should add that the first time I put him on the toilet he did not go willingly but was in fact screaming his head off. But the tears dried within a few seconds thanks to the smarties and all the fuss. By the next day he was happy to sit on the toilet for a few seconds, no tears or tantrums!

[sja76]

Thanks for the replies, very much appreciated as I'm going round in circles trying to get somewhere with him. I didn't think too much about the toilet training seats but can see your point so might just take them away and just go for it lol DS has been dry the last 2 nights and we've put a mat on his bed so its no more pull ups in the next couple nights too.

After discussing your post with hubby, think we'll try bribery again starting tomorrow morning as I'm getting so fed up having to take a potty everywhere and just want him fully trained asap.

Thanks again

[TheThickPlottens]

We've the same problem with my 3 yo an I was wondering how it went for you OP after all?

[Sarah1611]

An, I don't know- I'm an avid toilet seat fan... I nanny and am toilet training at the moment a 2.10 year old boy. I didn't ever put him on the potty. He used it with his parents but as he would use a toilet from the start with me I thought it best to only offer the toilet when it was time to go- to avoid the problem you have now (smile)

To such a small bottom, the large open space of a toilet seat is so scary, you will pretty much need all your strength to hold them from falling down and they will tense up so its no wonder they will be frightened. Honestly? I would go for a seat, it'll give them far more confidence when they start and when they're small.

As for going out and about, perhaps save public toilets for when they have confidence on a toilet at home- then start using them out and about. 'My' little one was great on the toilet seat at home and so early on I would sit him on a toilet when we went out. At first nothing came as he was so tensed but we persevered and now he has no problems at all. When holding him I would say things like, 'I'm holding you, see? So you can't fall down. Can you feel me holding you up? Good job I'm very strong!' Keep it light and fun but have confidence in him and be positive! Try not to use phrases such as 'aren't you brave!' As it gives the impression that there's something to be frightened about!!

Good luck!

[Nagoo]

Yep, I'd give him all the chocolate he can eat while he sat there