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how do you get past the 'poo hurdle'?

(25 Posts)
Bakingtins Thu 02-May-13 17:05:12

DS2 is 3 in a couple of weeks. We have been potty training for about 3-4 months and he was v-e-r-y s-l-o-w to get the idea, but for about the last 6 weeks we have had wees sorted - in big boy pants all the time, will ask to go for a wee, can hold for a while if required, and has decided to be dry at night too (still in a nappy but is bone dry in the morning and he gets up early to ask for a wee)
In all that time we have only managed 2 poos on the toilet blush he goes in his pants every day. Even when I can tell he needs to go (usually asking for a wee several times in quick succession) and tell him that means he needs a poo he will get upset and not want to poo on the toilet. (He didn't like the potty at all, we quickly ditched that) 5 mins later he has pooed in his pants. I am sick of cleaning up the mess!
I'm thinking of buying him special yellow pants (his favourite colour) and telling him if he gets them pooey they'll have to be thrown away. Not sure if this is a good plan or if we'll cause him psychological trauma.
I'm sure what finally swung it on the wee front was DH losing his rag at yet another accident and shouting. He is perfectly capable of cooperating, he just doesn't want to.

HerRoyalNotness Thu 02-May-13 17:07:12

I read DS1 the story, poo goes to pooland <did make me want to boak in places (weak stomach)>. It all clicked after that, and we'd stand at the toilet and wave to poo getting flushed.

Bakingtins Fri 03-May-13 13:42:34

Thank you Royal. Anyone else any thoughts?

pebbles1234 Fri 03-May-13 18:33:53

Am in exactly the same position - ds got potty training in a week (he's nearly 3) both wees and poos, but suddenly the pooing has become an issue and the past few days he's going in his pants, he does tell me he needs the potty but just isn't giving himself enough time. Am heavily pregnant and it's getting me down.... Hope someone will be along with some good advice soon!!

beela Fri 03-May-13 19:54:41

We are in the same position.

DS is 2.5 and has been dry day and night since the first weekend of potty training about a month ago, but will not poo on the potty or toilet, and is now just going with not pooing at all. It's making him uncomfortable and i can't work out how to persuade him that it's ok.

Does anyone have a pdf copy of poo goes to pooland? I can't find anywhere on the internet to download it from.

Chocoflump Fri 03-May-13 19:58:36

So glad I'm not the only one- DS is almost 3, is fantastic with the peeing but poos his pants every day. Has done one poo on the potty and it seemed to scare him to actually see it there. I hope someone comes along with a miracle soon sad

Beamur Fri 03-May-13 19:58:46

It's pretty common for there to be a time lag between wee-training and poo-training. I think it took my DD another 6 months which was a PITA. She used to be dry, clean and in pants all day - put her into a nappy at night, and then she would poo! She used to wait for the nappy to go on.

NuzzleandScratch Fri 03-May-13 19:59:38

I dream of the day we pass the poo hurdle! Dd1 was trained for wees a year ago now (aged just 2 at the time), and barring the odd time, has pooed in her pants every day since! It's driving me round the bend! Pooland didn't help us I'm afraid, currently trying a star chart with no success. sad

Beamur Fri 03-May-13 22:03:05

I resorted to massive bribery. DD is still happily scooting about on her reward for finally doing the 'do' in the toilet.

beela Sat 04-May-13 07:20:34

DS and I just read pooland together.

me: 'do you think your poo wants to go home to pooland?'
DS: 'no, it wants to watch television'

Oh, ok then.

Tbh I wouldn't mind if he waited for a nappy, but he just tries not to go at all, and then ends up doing lots of tiny small poos and getting upset sad

Gosh, it must be hard to be 2.

beela Sat 04-May-13 09:48:34

Well an hour after I had posted the above, he asked to use the potty and did a MASSIVE poo. Then he said we should put it in the toilet so it could go to pooland.


Just hope it wasn't a one off...

Beamur Sat 04-May-13 16:31:41

The power of Pooland!

buckingfollocks Sat 04-May-13 22:04:24

My boy has been able to wee with increasing levels of success for a year (was 2.7) but then went through a stage pooing his pants, then asked for a nappy to poo in. Still not got past that! And he starts school in Sept - yikes! Only does this at home however, and has not had a poo at nursery or pre school for over year so has become an expert at holding in. I wonder when he will decide pooing in a toilet is OK?

rubyblue Sun 05-May-13 16:22:57

Bucking, this sounds very familiar. DS is now 5.5 and has not done a poo on the loo since his 3rd birthday. He withholds the poo, sometimes for days, until he had a night nappy on. We have tried poo goes to Poo land, asked gp who just gave us laxatives, tried books for us and him, rewards, star charts, nappy on over the loo...

Now Dd is nearly three and she is driving me mad with doing lots of tiny poos in her pants throughout the day, even though she can and does occasionally do it on the loo.

It is really eating us down so at the very least, this thread makes me feel less alone. Today, took the kids out for the day and dd pooed in pants 6 times, so came home early. I find it all really, really stressful and makes me angry at her which is unreasonable I know.

NuzzleandScratch Sun 05-May-13 20:41:27

Totally sympathise Rubyblue, I get angry at dd1 sometimes over this too, which I know is wrong, & has probably made the situation worse, but it's just so frustrating isn't it.

buckingfollocks Sun 05-May-13 21:46:52

Oh no, ruby - sorry to hear of your poo problems. Was hoping might hear that they do eventually grow out of it. It is so frustrating. The older he gets, the more stubborn he is in not doing it in the toilet. It's so disgusting as well as he will walk around in the soiled nappy refusing to admit he has actually done it. I have no idea what it's all about - control? Wanting to stay a baby? It is hard to know if the best way forward is by having an "intervention" and refusing to allow it to continue or to just hope the problem disappears in time.

Roomfor1more Wed 08-May-13 20:40:44

We cracked the wee issue a couple of weeks back after all my fretting now its poohs..... sad

Dd(3) is doing it in her pants too and I'm beyond fed up. I'm fed up being the horrible cow who is giving out to her because of it. I keep asking her to tell me if she needs a pooh, she kkeps saying no and unless I place her under 24 hr surveilene she does it while I'm not in front of her!

She did it yesterday evening and proceed to take it out and put it in the potty. She dropped half it on the livingroom floor and presented it to me in the kitchen, my happiness was very short lived. I only found afterwards she'd done this because my 12 month old twins found the remains and dragged this into the kitchen to show me too. I think my neighbours thought I'd murdered dh or that I was being raped, mugged and pillaged with the screaming I did. She was promptly put to bed, the babies were washed in anything myself and my hubby could find all while my 5 year old looked at us like we were from planet Zog. Similar this evening when I saw she'd wee'd and when I stood to praise her I got the smell, so she was cleaned up and put to bed for her own safety before I posted her to outer Mongolia!

I know I should feel assured after reading others experiences here but I just feel as if this issue will never be fixed and I'll be dealing with dirty protests for years to come............ Meh!

Roomfor1more Wed 08-May-13 20:50:58

BTW Princess Polly was bought last week and so far it hasn't worked. I've tried bribary too and its not working..............

InvaderZim Thu 09-May-13 00:07:30

We're getting this about half the time - DD has been wee trained for five weeks now and poos are quite hit or miss. We remind her all the time that if she does poos on the potty she gets five chocolates (M&Ms) and a star sticker. sometimes it works.

Chocoflump Sat 11-May-13 09:44:18

DS turned 3 last week. I've told him now that he is 3 that he isn't allowed too poo his pants anymore and it must b done in a potty or the toilet. He hasn't pooed now in 3 days. He usually goes every day. He's telling me he needs to go, I'm putting him on the potty giving plenty of praise, but he just can't do it. He's pushing and pushing but I think he's tensing all his muscles up, and can't do it. I've made him relax, read to him on the potty, let him sit and watch tv on it but no poo. sad

Don't know what to do.

Chocoflump Sat 11-May-13 10:33:55

Scrap my last message. He's just gone in the potty!! smilesmile

mewkins Sun 12-May-13 21:56:56

Agh, reassuring to hear that we are not alone! Dd knows the theory behind where poos should go (and will tell everyone, including shop assistants that she accidentally pooed in her pants) but when it comes to it she just clams up! I think she would be better on a potty so that she has something to brace against but insists on sitting on the loo and then hopping off 10 secs later claiming she's all done.. then gets upset if I try to persuade her back on. SO SO frustrating as she is really good at wees after only a few weeks of training. Can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. ..

DerbyNottsLeicsNightNanny Sun 12-May-13 22:10:58

My ds is 3.4, has been wee trained about 3 months but still in nappy at night so poos when nappy goes on or in morning before if comes off. Haven't had any poos in pants & have had a couple in potty, so he can do it just chooses not to. Not sure how/when we will progress as nappies still soaking at night so not trying to go nappy free at night any time soon. Not stressed though tbh , I would rather him poo in night nappy for now than in pants, or hold poos for days on end like some of his little friends do/have done

MrsDandBaby Tue 21-May-13 21:54:21

Hi all

Your stories all sound very familar.

My DD potty trained for wees quite smoothly just before she turned 3, but never really got the hang of poos - had some success with a sticker chart after another 3 or 4 months so we knew she could do it.

We tried Pooh goes to Poohland, making her help clear up the mess, not making an issue of it, changing diet (cutting down apples, dairy and upping grapes, pears, brown bread etc) But we also had the issues of holding it in for days and doing lots of little poos.

She relapsed badly since the Easter holidays (when we were away a lot) with dirty pants everyday for about a month and no successes.

She turned 4 last Tuesday and we've not had an accident since, lots of poos on the toilet (she always used the potty before) with no prompting from anyone else.

So, I'm afraid I don't have anything else to offer but hope. Something has just clicked in her that 4 is the age to be fully toilet trained!

I hope all your LO's get there soon too.

My DS has just turned 2, so I'm about to start it all over again!

Fresh01 Tue 21-May-13 22:15:12

After over a month of poo in pants with DS we made it a routine. He would only sit on toilet for 10sec then 5 mins later poo in pants. So after lunch every day he was told to go sit on the toilet with my laptop and had to sit there for an episode of Fireman Sam on YouTube! It seemed to be long enough for him to relax and go sometimes he asked for a second episode.

We bought 10 of the 50p cars in Tescos and if he did a poo in the toilet he got one. We had the problem sorted before the end of the 10 cars.

Also worked out he preferred to be in the bathroom on his own. Me in there with him put him under pressure to perform. So I leave him to it and he calls when he needs help to wipe,

It is a very frustrating process. He was my 3rd to TT and DD2 only stopped weeing on the floor when she was made to help clean up but that is very hard to do with poo.

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