Started toilet training dd about 6 weeks ago (feels like 6 years!) and while she generally is quite happy to pee on the toilet poos are quite another matter although that particular joy goes in phases... She will go quite happily if she is sat on the toilet every hour or two but WILL NOT tell me when she needs to go. If I ask her she ALWAYS says 'no'.
She is able to tell me that she needs the toilet. She is very capable of controlling it. She can hold pees for ages if necessary. We know that she prefers to hold poos until about 5 minutes after going to bed 
but goes through phases of doing them in the toilet. Most days all pees are done in the toilet but some days (like today 
) she seems to be saving them all for public places 
and spacing them roughly every 30 minutes.
I KNOW she knows and she knows that I know she knows 
... But she just will not tell me when she needs to go. I suspect that it may be that going to the toilet is just so boring compared to whatever she is doing but I have no idea how to get her to tell me... Any ideas? I'm willing to try pretty much anything. Incidentally bribery isn't working. Clearly.
It feels like she will never be potty trained 
Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.
Potty training
Argh! How to get her to TELL ME...?!? What next? Anything...?
GingerlyRed · 19/03/2013 15:47
We were you just a couple of weeks ago!!
Just hang in there, preschool advised us just to take him every so often and pay no attention at all to accidents beyond changing his clothes, no dialogue about it at all.
Thankfully the phase passed (it lasted about 6 weeks!!) and within a few days he went from constant accidents to completely reliable again 
Thanks folks. This is making me crazy. Especially the 'no, no, NO!!!!' when she's asked if she needs the toilet which is followed by a massive pee two minutes later. Or I wrestle her to the toilet and she does in fact go
She went for ages where she would wake up with a dry nappy every day and go to the toilet first thing. Then she would have a dry nappy but it was like she only peed enough to keep from exploding, would have her breakfast and then finish the pee on the floor. Now she stands on the bed and pees while staring at me .
I'll be honest, I'm starting to take it personally lol! But at least I'm not the only one in a similar (sodden) situation.
Just another thought, don't ask her if she needs to go, just every so often(however often you think it's possible for her to wait, for us it was a couple of hours) just announce cheerily that it is time to go to the toilet with mummy and mummy needs to go too. We also used to do this before going out. It did get a better reaction than telling him to go, as it's like a little adventure for the two of you. I would take him by the hand, tell him we were both going for a wee and then start chatting about other interesting things while leading him there so he didn't really have a chance to argue more often than not, he would then be too busy chatting by the time we got there and just automatically go for a wee in the toilet without me saying anything 
I will try that Whispers. She hates to leave whatever it is that she is doing and there is nothing more boring in her little world than sitting on the toilet. She HATES having wet/pooey pants but just tries to ignore it for too long. I watch her shuffling around, crossing/uncrossing her legs, squeezing her knees together and generally looking pained and you can see the battle going on but by the time she says "toilet please" (she is very polite to the bitter end ) she is looking pretty tragic and weeing. It also likely hasn't helped that dp has been working away for the past two weeks. Back now so we can start afresh.
I feel that she is ready Seeker, she can control it (boy don't I know it ), she can tell me when she needs to go, she understands the whole process (pants down, go, wipe, pants up, flush, wash hands). It's just so inconvenient for her and it's something that she is going to have to accept.
Yeesh, it's a sorry state of affairs to be broken by a stubborn 2.5 year old! Off to practic my neutral face but worried the grinding of teeth may give it away . Meh, this too shall pass.
Hey Foxy... I have not met anyone in real life who found potty training easy/fun etc. My dd's nursery have told me that some little ones are just like that and are completely chilled out about it .
Whispers advice seems to be working though . It is infuriating. You are not alone in your misery... And laundry pile 
. I just hold onto that a couple of people have told me that the brightest are the hardest .
Hell, my sister had twins and won't even talk about it. She just shudders.
I bribed mine with smarties, one smartie for a wee, two for a poo.
As I never normally gave them sweets, this proved a huge incentive. They did go to the loo rather a lot, but hey, I got them potty trained straight to toilet. The secnd child got potty trained by his older brother ( as they'd BOTH get a smartie, otherwise not fair...
Not sure I could write a parenting book though as I know sugar is the devil and all that...
Foxy, DS was like that too. Dry of you took him but never asked to go. Then one day he just started it was probably a few months after we started. So just be patient
Now, if anyone has any advice for if your 18 mo refuses nappies, it would be much appreciated She is actually fairly reliable with wees, not many accidents at all, but doesn't get poos at all!!!
Sometimes I can con her into pull ups, but not very often... It's very messy
Chandon that would be a very short book .
Two 'accidents' at nursery today. 'Accidents' my arse ! Can't be bothered more like. Especially as been fine all weekend including a four hour car journey when she asked to go to the toilet and was quite content to wait for the next services. The ONLY time she asked but other than that just put her on the toilet every couple of hours.
At least we're not the only ones...
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