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DH does not believe 3 year old when he says he need to pee!

(6 Posts)
atrcts Fri 22-Feb-13 20:25:11

Does anyone else have this problem?

My DS has done amazingly well with his potty training and once in a blue moon will say he needs to pee but it takes a couple of times for it to come out - but it ALWAYS does on the second or 3rd attempt.

The problem i have is that DH often says he can't possibly ned to pee as he did so 30 mins ago - or because he doesn't want to go to bed.... always a different reason for disbelieving DS.

He would rather he wet himself than keep taking him to the toilet, which I am finding really hard. I am not always there to be my son's advocate!

Has anyone else encountered this problem or have any suggestions as to what I can do? I've tried explaining that DS is always right even if it occasionally takes a couple of goes 5 mins apart to finally get a result. But its very rare! DH just sticks to his guns that he can wait all night as he pee'd 5 mins before bed, even though I went upstairs to on the 3rd go he pee'd a lot again, almost as though he had not pee'd before bed at all in the first place!

Help! Is there anything I can do? I can't always be there and I doesn't sit well with me that DH will have to learn by seeing DS distraught that he's wet himself. sad

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Fri 22-Feb-13 20:31:27

Why would your DH rather your DS wet himself? What is his logic there?

Fairylea Fri 22-Feb-13 20:34:43

That's awful sad your poor ds.

I want to say leave the bastard.

I won't. But seriously, your dh is very wrong and you need serious words.

atrcts Fri 22-Feb-13 21:59:57

He doesn't honestly believe that the poor lad actually NEEDS the toilet and so thinks it isn't really a serious risk.... So far I've been able to intervene and DS has pee'd very shortly after being denied the opportunity by his Dad. So dS has not been put in the position of soiling himself as I've always saved the situation, the concern being that I won't always be able to do that.

joanofarchitrave Fri 22-Feb-13 22:39:17

How does/would your dh react if your son did wet himself?

If your dh would be calm and deal with it well (and do the cleaning up), then IMO it isn't too much of a problem - ds will only have to be caught out a couple of times for your dh's tune to change, and it wouldn't be a bad experience for him if your dh reacts that way.

atrcts Fri 22-Feb-13 22:50:31

DS has only wet himself 4 days on a row in the entire potty-training, we didn't expect him to master it so quickly, but the times he wet himself he cried as he was so upset. DH was not harsh with him (nor was I) - and he hasn't had any more accidents but only because I've jumped in when DS says he needs the loo but DH contests it.

I did wonder if it might have to come to DS ensuring wetting himself (unnecessarily) to teach DH that e actually DOES need to go when he asks to! But it's not always about a wee and I don't think it's fair to a poor little boy to be forced to pee himself (or worse) when he is asking to use be toilet. It seems borderline neglect/abuse to me because it's so easily preventable and is an inexcusable upset to a child.

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