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Dd just turned 3 and still not trained :(

(12 Posts)
Roomfor1more Tue 12-Feb-13 13:08:07

I've tried everything. Sticker charts, story books, rewards, new underwear, begging, indifference, a flippin' talking Mickey Mouse talking potty, tried cheaper nappies that would leak so she'd hate the whole scenario of being undressed. She's just not interested. She'd happily sit in a wet/dirty nappy and I've done so thinking she'd think it was horrible and that would say it. Nope! My eldest son trained in 3 days and was a dream, the opposite of what I was told by anyone who thought I should know! That girls train faster/quicker blah blah. Was told dd would do it sooner because she's a bright little thing and far more advanced than her big brother at this age. Yes she is a bright little thing so bright infact she making a muppet out of me and her Dad and is milking it with us. I have twin babies aged 10 months so maybe she's trying to hold onto so sort of 'babyness'?? On the other hand she's mega independent feeds herself, dresses herself(tries). So I'm at a loss....

Should I just chill out and leave it till the weather gets warmer, my Mum's opinion and see how we get on. She's off to playschool in Sept and I'd like her well established by then. Its tough dealing with someone as stubborn and as strong willed as yourself. Imagine what its going to be like in this house in another few years if we're having issues with the potty...............hmm

misscph1973 Tue 12-Feb-13 13:18:38

My DD was a nightmare too, we also tried everything, but she just didn't care, not interested. When she was 4.5 it was still not great, lots of accidents. She would still wet the bed occasionally until she was 6 and now that she is 8, she will still have skid marks in her pants when she doesn't go to the toilet quickly enough. I really feel for you! And my DS was a lot quicker, he was toilet trained by age 3 and rarely has any problems now (he is almost 6).

I remember her day nursery teacher telling me when I was telling her of my frustrations that my DD was so goood and advanced at so many other things, like your DD. Try to focus on what she is good at.

My experience is that you can't force it. In other countries (I'm Danish) potty training takes place a lot later. All children do it at their own pace, and don't worry, she will not be in nappies by the time she is 14 ;)

Take a break from the potty training for a few months and then see what happens when you start again. Good luck!

bigboobsatlast Thu 14-Feb-13 20:24:13

room!! Come and talk to me! My dd jas just turned 3 and will not use a potty or loo. I know she knowa exactly when she needs a wee or a poo, and can also hold on of she needs to go, so I know she has control. She will also happily wear pants... but only for an hour or two amd then she begs for a nappy. .. nappy goes on and she does a wee or poo. I have tried reward charts and bribery but no difference. I have held off just saying no more nappies and seeing what happens but I am going to do this soon. She just loves nappies and says she wants to wear them forever!
I have dts as well, 10 months. And think this is part of the reason but not really sure why!!

Where do we go from here? I get so frustrated and desperately want her out of nappies but I don't want to push it if it is the wrong thing to do

flamingtoaster Thu 14-Feb-13 20:43:57

You can lead a child to the potty but you cannot make it pee. This is not a battle mums can ever win. Wait until the DC wants to do it and they will do it in a day or two without any angst for either mother or child. Some bright children are just too busy doing interesting things to worry about taking time out to go to the toilet - some realize they can wind their parents up by not going to the toilet. Make it a non-issue - offer pants or nappies periodically and one day they will say pants and will be dry within two days. I waited with both my DS and DD and they only ever had one accident each - when compared to the amount of washing of clothes and floors and car seats my friends went through I think it was worth the wait!

GoingToBedfordshire Thu 14-Feb-13 20:55:07

I sympathise, sounds like you have a lot on with young twins and a reluctant dd. Be kind to yourself and leave it for a while - just 3 is still well within the range of normal.

If it makes you feel better, I had a similar experience with dd1. I attempted potty training with her just after her third birthday, and she just did not want to know. I got myself all worked up, but then left it for a few months and she got it fine second time.

alittleteapot Sun 17-Feb-13 08:47:00

My dd was three and a quarter. I tried to coax her with peppa knickers, charlie and lola knickers, the lot. She refused. Then one day she got up and said I'm going to wear knickers today. And that was it, she was off. never had an accident and was dry at night within a fortnight too. smile
My ds is three and a half and still not getting it - like others have said v bright and interested in just about everything but this! I have just posted for advice as this is now seeming very late and I'm not sure how to help him on as jsut leaving him doesn't seem to be working in the same way as dd...

Roomfor1more Wed 24-Apr-13 15:13:24

I'd forgotten this thread until I spotted it again.

We're back to training again since Saturday. So far so good-ish! She's not fussed about the potty but prefers the 'ladder' as she calls it on the loo with the trainer seat. I still hear every now and then she wants a pull up. I'm not budging. She started playschool in the local village for one morning a week, last week, she had a pull up on then but tomorrow morning I'm chancing a knickers, have cleared it with the lady in charge.

Fingers crossed this is it!

Roomfor1more Wed 24-Apr-13 15:19:44


Just as I hit return she stood beside me and wee'd all over the floor........................................ Is it too early for vino???!!!!!!

Didn't make a fuss just cleaned up, had a sad face on me and just put clean clothes on her. Counting to 10 doesn't help I might add. Would I really confuse her if I stick a pull on her??

So much for being positive! Plus I have 2 teething babies and my eldest ds(5) is in a mood too. Think I'll take myself out to the 2 dogs in the garden <sigh>

INeedThatForkOff Fri 26-Apr-13 14:05:39

Would it help to start her at preschool a little earlier than planned, assuming there's space? I wonder if seeing her peers taking themselves off to the loo might encourage her.

Roomfor1more Fri 26-Apr-13 17:59:47

She's going for morning a week till the holidays INeedThatForkOff Then going full time in Sept.

Actually today wasn't too bad only one wet accident, pooh in her knicks BUT 2 wee's in the potty that she did of her own accord without her daft Mummy asking her. She just appeared with the potty all pleased so we've changed tact with her and allow her to think she's in control YIKES!! smile

MaMattoo Tue 14-May-13 22:48:38

How is it going? Mine will be 3 in three weeks. Does poo in the potty but does not to on his own accord. Can talk the hind legs off a donkey but just won't say he needs the toilet. Would rather just stand there and make a mess in his underpants. Wears nappy at night...
When does this sense finally arrive?

Beamur Tue 14-May-13 22:55:21

I think my DD associated nappies with still being a baby and she just wasn't ready to give that up for a while. She got there in the end - she was about 3.5 yrs and I was beginning to worry as she was due to go to the school nursery from September where there was more of an expectation that your child would be out of nappies...
I found massive bribery worked - not just a measly chocolate button or a sticker but something big that she really wanted - and what she wanted was a scooter. She's 6 now (and barely had an accident once she finally gave up her nappy habit) and is still proud of the fact that she got her beloved scooter for toilet training.
Good luck and I hope you find the tactic that works for your DD.

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