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Struggling to potty train nearly 3yo girl- PLEASE HELP

(14 Posts)
katemimi Sun 13-Jan-13 17:17:37


DD1 will be 3 in march and i'm finding very difficult to get her potty trained.

We tried it a few months ago when she started telling us she messed her nappy, but wehad to stop it as she was not ready. We bought some potties, a toilet seat and some knickers (she chose them). She weed and did some poos in her potty and in the toilet as well and then she started asking for a wee, (although very occasionally).

The problem is that her poos are normally quite soft and messy and we don't get the potty/toilet in time so she does it in her knickers...

She never asked for a poo and she always cried when she did in her potty and then always started whinging "Mummy I want my nappy" or "I don't like poo". We had a lot of poo accidents in her knickers and I always changed and reassured her. I never told her off! Just said "mummy would like you to poo in your potty" or "you'll try again next time don't worry". Sometimes I caught her doing the "poo face" and tried to sit her on the potty but she refused and then pooed on the floor and got really upset.

I tried bribery, reward charts, taking toys away but nothing seems to work. I have two nieces and she saw them using the toilet but again if we ask her if she wants to sit in the toilet like a big girl she says no!

I want to start potty training her again but I fear we will not succeed...

Any tips please? Its soo frustrating

BrittaPerry Sun 13-Jan-13 17:20:35

I'd back off tbh. There's no rush, and giving her too much pressure will jst make it harder.

katemimi Sun 13-Jan-13 17:34:35

Thank you for your reply!

She's nearly 3 and I know all kids are different but I'm starting to worry about it. I don't know how to approach it again

BrittaPerry Sun 13-Jan-13 19:46:12

Neither of mine, or me or my sisters were potty trained by 3. It is just when they get physically ready, one day you will try it and it will be easy. Keep encouraging her, but don't panic.

Some people find that washable nappies work well, as the child is more aware of being wet, iyswim, but my dd1 doesn't even react to wet knickers (she is a bit odd though I think) so it is own to the child.

Does your dd go to nursery or anything? If so, have they said anything?

chocolatecheesecake Sun 13-Jan-13 19:57:32

For us reward chart and princess polly's potty book helped; but the biggest things were
(a) not putting pressure on (when we did put pressure on she reacted by not pooing at all)
(b) not reacting to accidents or to her pooing as soon as we put a nappy on for sleeps
(c) telling her she was really good at poos (even when she wasn't yet!), and
(d) taking her to the loo as well as waiting for her to ask (e.g. When about to go out or when she hadn't been for a couple of hours).

She'll get there eventually! Hope the above helps - i found it very hard to not react to accidents especially as time went on, but keeping the emphasis on the positive (good trying, well done for asking to go to the loo, next time we'll get there in time, etc) did help

CatL Sun 13-Jan-13 22:36:54

We are potty training a jsut 3 year old at the moment. We've tried a few timesbefore and got nowhere, but going better this time, and lotsof success with wees. Poos are an issue for us too, but for the opposite reason - constipation, so no practical help with that to offer, but in terms of her attitude to it, it is much better now than before. I think that's partly jsut that she is ready, but also we put the idea in her head that we'd try again when she was 3 because she's be a big girl then, and she seemed quite enthusiastic about that. So we started the day after her birthday, and although she was having no success to start with, 3 weeks on it seems to have clicked.

So maybe leave it and try again when 3, or when she seems more enthusiastic. Things that have helped us: star chart where she gets to choose the sticker (last time we agreed a prize for certain number of stars, but didn;t seem to motivate her, probably because it took ages to get to that number! This time we haven;t promised anything, but occasionally give her a chocolate / get her a cheap sticker book " because she is trying so hard / doing so well".).

Also, once we realised she wasn't telling us when she needs to go, we started just taking her regularly. Once started doing most wees when we took her, rather than having accidents (and we noticed the wees were straight away once she sat down, rather than waiting for them, so it seemed like she's been holding them), I told her she was doing so well I was putting her in charge of deciding when to go, I wouldn't tell her when to (just remind her to think about it occasionally!). She's hardly had any accidents since!

I think it helped that we helped her more this time with when to go initially, so she had more experience of success and was really proud of herself, which kept her motivated.

katemimi Mon 14-Jan-13 18:29:40

Thanks for all your replies!

She doesn't go to nursery so no piece of advice... But I will follow your tips!
We have princess polly's potty book and she loves it, we tried reward charts and stickers but didn't work though.
I always reassure her when she has an accident, so maybe I should start ignoring instead? I mean not talk about it while changing her...

I really wanted to get her potty trained before her third birthday but I'm dreading starting all the process again.

calypso2008 Mon 14-Jan-13 18:32:55

My DD was a month off 3 and in 1 day used the loo (not potty) and in one week was dry at night. (Unlike earlier potty trained children)
I had SO much criticism before, however, when she was ready, she was ready and it was easy.

Do not fret!

katemimi Mon 14-Jan-13 18:45:13

I hate being criticized about it. My father is always telling she should be potty trained as she's nearly 3 and she gets upset when he says things like that... Fortunately he stopped doing this in front of her

calypso2008 Mon 14-Jan-13 18:49:58

stand firm katemimi it will be fine!

katemimi Mon 14-Jan-13 19:00:31

thanks for reassuring me! smile smile

katemimi Mon 14-Jan-13 19:01:27

I think I will give it another go in the next few days and I will kepp you updated smile

bigboobsatlast Fri 18-Jan-13 12:58:07

Hi katemimiI am in a similar situation. Y dd is 3 in feb. She knows when she needs a wee or poo but REFUSES to use loo or potty. She will happily wear her pants for hours but as soon as she needs a wee or poo she asks for a nappy. I have gone with it for now but like you feel the pressure from others that she should be out of nappies by now. I really don't know how hard to push it.

Let us know how you get on

Notjustamum25 Sat 19-Jan-13 12:55:52

My DD is 3 in Feb and I'm in the boat of my daughter has been trained about 4/5 times for up to 2 months then reverts back to wetting. It's just perseverance really. Try not to stress. This has been useful for me as I can see I'm not the only one worrying about having a 3yo in nappies.

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