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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Poo crisis

30 replies

newby2 · 05/01/2013 12:51

Wee trained on potty no probs at 2.5 years but absolutely wont poo on it- have to out a nappy on. Any ideas?

OP posts:
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Fresh01 · 10/01/2013 14:08

I have posted what I did with DS on the thread poo refusal and potty training side effects. It is a horrible one to deal with.

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marmitelover · 11/01/2013 13:41

Newby2 - I have exactly the same problem! My son is same age, has cracked the wees (doesn't really ask to go but stays dry and we've had very few wet accidents) but he just won't use the potty for poos ... Help!

I've tried sympathetic mum, slightly cross mum, showed him the messy bits I have to clean up and say 'wouldn't it be better in the potty?', I've tried sticker chart and sweet bribes, we've got the Pirate Pete book. Nothing seems to be working. He does seem to control it because when we go out he doesn't do it and it's almost like he's controlling it to wait for a moment in his pants because he doesn't want to use the potty or toilet. Not sure how much more poo I can deal with!

Anyone got any tips?

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NuzzleandScratch · 13/01/2013 12:25

We're in exactly the same position with dd1. She's been trained for wees since 2.2 (last May), but just will not poo in the toilet (she's 2.10 now). She's literally only ever done about 5 poos on the toilet, a few of those were when she was first training, and one was at the end of October (like a fool, I thought we'd cracked it after that one!)

Marmitelover, dd1 does exactly the same, hangs onto it while we're out, then does it in her knickers at home. She will however do it in her knickers at nursery (she's only there 3 mornings). Interestingly she used to sometimes do it in her night nappy, but since asking to stop wearing a nappy at night a couple of months ago, she never does it at night now.

I'm at my wits' end with all this, especially now I have dd2 to look after as well. I keep hoping it'll just sort itself out, but perhaps that's just not going to happen. Argh!

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 13/01/2013 12:32

have you got Poo Goes to Pooland? It's a short PDF story, looks like nothing, but really works. I don't think I have a copy anymore, but started a thread - someone here will have one as I emailed about billion copies to MNers when i did.

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 13/01/2013 12:34

wait! I have found it!
you need to PM me an email address.

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GollyGumdrops · 13/01/2013 13:13

Charlotte, please would you mind emailing me a copy too if I PM you my email address? I'm having terrible problems with my dd (2.10) withholding her poo. She'll only go when she absolutely cannot hold it in any longer, sometimes up to 3-4 days, and then she'll only do it in her nappy. It's very distressing for her, and it's driving us all insane.

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 13/01/2013 13:34

Golly - you should have your copy of Pooland now. Please would you be kind enough to watch the thread and forward it on if anyone else wants it?

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littlebellsmum · 13/01/2013 14:47

Lord be praised - it's not just my 2.5 yr old! My older two dc's never did this - dd1 (angel child) was potty trained at 2 yrs 8 months, dry day and night within weeks. DS was about 3.5 by the time he was trained and at 7 still has occasional accidents in the night. DD2 however , potty trained wees at 2 1/2, 2 months later refuses ( and it is refusal) to do poo's in the loo. Will not touch the potty and has said that she is scared.

The video is on you tube and so once DD2 gets back from the park, she will be watching the video. Maybe it might replace the balamory panto as her favourite watch - I don't ruddy care as long as it works Smile.

Should we keep on the thread to try and preserve each others sanity?

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GollyGumdrops · 13/01/2013 19:06

Charlotte, many thanks for the pdf and I'll be happy to forward it on to anyone else who'd like it.

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NuzzleandScratch · 13/01/2013 19:10

Good idea LittleBellsMum! After 8 months of pooey pants, I've just about had enough! Those of you who've had success with Poo goes to Pooland, did you keep showing it to them, or was once enough to plant the idea?

This was us earlier:
Dd1 wriggling.
Me: Do you need a poo?
Dd1: No
1 minutes passes
Me: Have you done a poo in you knickers?
Dd2: Yes

If you're wondering why I didn't whisk her off to the toilet at the wriggling stage, I was breastfeeding dd2, which is often the way. However, when I've sat her on the toilet at the obvious signs, she just withholds! She'll deny & deny she needs to go until it's out! If only she'd admit wanting to go, we might make some progress.

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bettyspaghetti33 · 13/01/2013 19:14

Another one here who would be grateful for a copy of poo goes to Pooland :) is it ok to pm?

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littlebellsmum · 13/01/2013 20:47

nuzzleandscratch - that is my life too. I showed poo goes earlier. She quite liked it and we have talked about it since. There has been lots of bottom holding and denials but no poos. Mine too will say no, no, no. Get stroppy when put on the toilet and then do it in her pants.

I will be showing her Poo goes at every opportunity - I don't believe that once will be enough!

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ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/01/2013 20:51
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SweepTheHalls · 13/01/2013 20:54

I used real nappy liners in his pants, the feel of them seemed to remind him when he needed a poo, and feel like a nappy enough to make him feel more secure. Bought a pack in Boots for next to nothing, and after 9 months of accidents, sorted it in 2 days!

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Fresh01 · 14/01/2013 13:22

I tried poo goes to Pooland and it didn't help. DS reminded me at the weekend of something I told him "poo gets to go to the poo party" basically you talk up that poos done in the toilet get to go to a poo party and have jelly, ice cream, cakes, play games, have balloons etc etc they get to pick what happens at fictional party. But when you or daddy or older siblings go they make a big deal of their poo getting to go to a poo party with balloons, cake etc and how much fun it will have. Must have stuck in DS's head as for the first time in weeks on sat he said "poo in toilet it gets to go to poo party"

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QTPie · 14/01/2013 21:00

Thanks for this thread -will try pool and and poo party.

DS has been dry since half term (end of October): he was a very quick learner doing wees on the toilet. But he just won't poo on the toilet: he ALWAYS does them in his nappy at nap time or night time (the only two times he wears nappies). He doesn't do them in bed (generally) - he does them standing out of bed (after I have done all of his bedtime routine and left him to settle). He will be 3 years in about a week. He doesn't poo in his pants (which is a relief!)

I am getting quite (inwardly) frustrated. Literally every nap/night-time, I remind him "do you need a poo?" "no!", then I walk away, get as far as my bedroom and hear him grunting... Then I have to go back and change his nappy. We have a nanny two mornings a week (she puts him down for his nap) and he doesn't poo when she does it [hhm]

We do talk about it - he knows hat he should do it I'm the toilet. He has the control (clearly). He has been offered EVERY bribe under the son (won't bite). Have shown him his dirty nappy (fascinated and not revolted).

Arrrrrgggghhh! So capable, yet so stubborn! A sign of things to come, I am sure....

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littlebellsmum · 14/01/2013 23:29

Another day, another load of poo to clean. Nursery is trying a new tack - DD2 now has her own poo potty that she has chosen. Clearly didn't work today.

Was thinking about putting in dry like me pads but the nappy liners might be better - if nothing else, they might protect the clothes a bit. I might even have some in her drawers from the real nappy days.

Anyone else have any success or poo to share today?

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NuzzleandScratch · 15/01/2013 18:32

LittleBellsMum, your earlier post made me laugh, with the 'bottom holding & denials'!

Same as you I'm afraid, same old. We've had the joy of a poo in 3 parts today! Always at home though (or nursery), so there is a degree of control there. We haven't had a chance to look at Pooland yet, so will report back on that. The only thing that worries me is that we obviously tip the poo from her knickers into the toilet, so not sure the Pooland via the toilet thing will make sense, as they're already going in there.

I've also tried talking about her friends who are trained, saying 'so and so does his poos on the toilet, isn't he clever, you could do that couldn't you?'. She says yes, then carries on as before.

Nursery seem unfazed by the whole thing, just hand us her dirty knickers in a bag each day! (well, most days).

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littlebellsmum · 15/01/2013 21:32

Nuzzle - we too get a bag from nursery. However, I'm think they are bit hacked off as they aren't bothering to even remove the solid bits - without doubt my favourite part of the day is emptying her nursery bag - NOT

No poo's at all today - thought we might have success at bathtime as she is prone to pooing in there ( has always done it). Being a good mummy, I came and showed her how to send poo to pooland(!) but still no poo. Big sister bringing in guinea pig for a cuddle didn't help much, mind!

Now, all I need to do tomorrow morning is to get her to accept the liner in her pants - she wasn't having any of it this morning but tomorrow as we all know is another day

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littlebellsmum · 18/01/2013 00:39

Hello - any success stories to share? We've now not had a poo since Monday - someone is withholding something me thinks. Ready to let go of it on our 4 hour ( probably snow delayed) journey!!

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NuzzleandScratch · 18/01/2013 09:45

Nope, 'fraid not! Two soilings at nursery yesterday morning, & they've had to bin 2 pairs of her knickers there this week. I asked the teacher if she had any advice, and she just said that it'll come! She was perfectly confident in this, so I hope she's right! Best of luck with your journey today!

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littlebellsmum · 19/01/2013 17:18

progress - hurrah. Small poo's in pants, followed by monsters on the loo! Is happy about sending her poo's to pooland . Is now Grandma's problem for a week as she is staying there on holiday.

Ps NUzzle - journey was fine. Never went to the loo once and no accidents either!

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NuzzleandScratch · 19/01/2013 18:51

Oh wow, hope for us all! Well done to her! We've shown dd1 the video of Pooland online today, & talked about it at length, so hopefully the seed has been planted! Dh has promised to take her swimming if she manages it.

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littlebellsmum · 22/01/2013 20:38

serious progress here - now at Grandmas and has done another small poo in pants followed by one on loo. Then miracles of miracles - twice has asked to go to the loo for a poo and has done it Grin . Hurrah - Poo Goes to Pooland strikes again

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CackleALot · 22/01/2013 20:51

My 2.5yr old was exact same, no problem with wee but completely refused to poo in toilet. One day he did it and wee made such a fuss of it and gave him sweets afterwards that he was as proud as punch. That was a week ago and has been doing this ever since.

My HV suggested having treats in toilet such as bubbles so he could sit on toilet for longer periods of time. Also just watching for tell tale signs I.e. my ds would go and hide, if I noticed him doing that I would drag him to toilet! (if I caught him in time!).

He also started noticing that it was uncomfortable to poo in his pants, so i didn't rush to change him if he had done it (although didn't leave him for too long!)

Good luck!

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