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3.5 year old will poo in potty but not toilet, is this ok?

(12 Posts)
firemansamsmam Thu 03-Jan-13 20:50:54

DS has been dry for well over a year. He wees in a toilet but will not poo in it. Up till now I have been fine with him just pooing in the potty because he went through a funny phase where he was freaked out about pooing at all. I was happy to let him do what he wanted as long as it was hygienic and healthy! I.e. not keeping it in or doing it in his pants.

However, MIL wants him to use the toilet because his willy tends to poke out of her potty and spray on the floor. We have a bigger potty so don't have that particular problem!

The other problem is that occasionally he needs a poo when we are not near a potty and he won't go in a normal toilet so holds it in.

Is 3 and a half too old to be using a potty?

Also, does anyone have tips for teaching him how to use a toilet? Ive had a search on mumsnet but most pages seem to relate to kids that will only poo in a nappy.

McPhee Thu 03-Jan-13 20:56:19

Do you keep the potty in the bathroom/loo?

If you are letting him poo wherever the potty may be at the time, then it may take him longer to relate the poo to doing it in the bathroom. If you can keep pooing to that one particular place, then you'll be on the right track to getting him to sit on the toilet hopefully.

ILikeWhisperingToo Thu 03-Jan-13 20:59:55

Does he have a toilet seat? The child-size type?

catkind Thu 03-Jan-13 20:59:59

How about the kind of travel potty that also works as a toilet seat? Might that help a gradual transition? Not "too old" but you'll want to be thinking about toilets for convenience and certainly by the time he starts school. The older he gets the easier it gets to have a rational conversation about it, specially if you don't make it a pressure thing by pushing before he's ready.
In the meantime could you get a cheap large potty to donate to MIL?

notwoo Thu 03-Jan-13 21:00:20

Ah bless him-is it because of the 'splash' blush.

Don't think 3.5 is too old to use a potty (as long as it's in a bathroom). My dd is the same age and still mainly uses the potty if she takes herself to the bathroom as she is too small to get on the toilet by herself!

I'd worry he would get constipated if he had to hold it in when out for a while though.

firemansamsmam Thu 03-Jan-13 22:25:10

He doesnt really say why, just that he likes using his potty.

We have a toilet seat that is nice and secure but he refuses to use it. MIL has also just bought a ladder with seat attached (!) that looks fairly sturdy and I have tried encouraging that but he refuses point blank.

His potty is kept in the bathroom but he doesn't always use it in there so perhaps I could start with encouraging that. I agree maybe I could just get MIL a super sized potty and that will sort her issue out!

Would you recommend rewards? Not sure whether to really tackle this or be relaxed about it.

Pancakeflipper Thu 03-Jan-13 22:28:58

My DS2 wouldn't poo in the loo. Went on for months and months.

My HV gave me some ideas and the one I thought was utterly bonkers worked. When he needed a poo he would tell me and we would put a nappy on him and then he'd sit on the loo. Do the poo in the nappy and then go back into pants.

We did this with high praise and then a week later he didn't use the nappy.

I have the PDF's on this with other bonkers ideas if you want them? PM me if you do.

firemansamsmam Thu 03-Jan-13 22:32:02

A nappy even though he hasn't worn one for over a year? Would that work?

OpheliasWeepingWillow Thu 03-Jan-13 22:33:52

What about Mr Poo goes to Poo Land?

firemansamsmam Thu 03-Jan-13 22:36:25

I just googled and watched a YouTube video, it is bizarre! But yes I could try it, thanks!

OpheliasWeepingWillow Thu 03-Jan-13 22:37:13


ILikeWhisperingToo Fri 04-Jan-13 00:51:12

We used rewards for each stage - although we scaled them down as time went on, it soon adds up! Definitely worth a try.

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