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No desire?

(25 Posts)
QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 14:00:32

DS is just abut 2 years 9 months.

We are trying, a second time, to encourage potty use. Last time he did a couple of wees and a poo n the potty (after a few accidents on the floor), but then got so freaked out by the poo, that we out potty training on hold.

Anyway - I know that we should "wait for him to be ready" - we really need to start moving on potty train: he is due to start preschool in Feb, but must be toilet trained before they will take him. So that is maybe 3.5 months away. I am hoping to begin fertility treatment next month (have already ave all the tests, looks like Consultabt will recommend IVF and hope we can start it end of November). That would overlap with Xmas, then we will go on a long haul holiday in January (LA and skiing in Colorado). So I really feel that this is the best time.

DS is physically ready (and can "not go" better than me!). But that is the problem - he really doesn't want to go on the potty: he will dance/hop around naked (desperate to go), but it is really hard to get him to go on the potty (wants to do it in his nappy). He has a sticker chart, have tried all other bribes (chocolate, ice cream etc) - just not interested! Lots of praise on the rare event of a trickle in the potty... I can get him to sit and stay on the potty (fir quite a long time!), but he just doesn't want to do it on the potty.... sad

Any suggestions? My current thoughts are "going cold turkey" next week (half term, so very limited activities on): just stay at home and get naked - he has to go some time....


ConstantCraving Mon 22-Oct-12 20:58:16

No ideas i'm afraid - but lurking on this as am in same situation with DD. She is just 3 and we started yesterday - like your DS she shows no desire to use the potty. She can also hold on for hours - so i know she has control. Loves her new pants but is just too busy doing things to sit still, and i think she just finds the potty hard, cold and a bit wierd compared to her nappy... hope someone comes on who can help!

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 21:13:34

Thanks, it is good to know that I am not the only one smile

DS will sit on the potty (especially if bribed with iPad/book) - so we have that goIng for us - he just fights so much to not wee in it. So frustrating... Most things you can help them do or show them how to do them... Although he has been in the toilet lots with me when I go for a wee, that still doesn't help sad

Have/are you going cold turkey with DD?

I hate pushing it, but sometimes you really do need to get them to move on sad

emsyj Mon 22-Oct-12 21:17:15

Eagerly watching for any advice too - DD understands, has control etc - but just doesn't want to use the potty or toilet. Will wait with interest for further posts and wisdom!

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 21:18:56

How old is your DD emsyj?

Hope we all get a few ideas from someone

Gmakes3 Mon 22-Oct-12 21:26:31

We waited till they were ready (kind of) With DD we had the potty around for a good 8 months. Sometimes she would use it but wasnt really interested in it. Tried around 2 yrs 9 months and disaster. Just weed everywhere as soon as pants went on. Gave up after a couple of days. Decided we would wait till 3 and made a big deal of potty training when she was a big girl. Worked a treat dry day and night in 2 weeks. Same thing with DS wasn't interested at all even though he knew when he needed a wee and poo. Wanted his nappy. Tried and failed just under 3 (gave into peer pressure ) blush. Tried same tatic at 3 and dry again in a week and in 3 weeks at night. Everychild is so different and if you force them then accidents will happen. Some just take alittle longer.

emsyj Mon 22-Oct-12 21:31:00

My DD is 2yrs 5 months, but I am expecting DC2 in early Feb and was hoping to potty train sufficiently in advance that we won't suffer too much with regression once the new baby arrives. I can feel the time running out!

Oh well, maybe we are just best off waiting until she shows an interest. She's not due to start pre-school until next September, so we don't have a deadline as such.

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 21:39:17

Emsyj, if I was you I would wait - you are very likely to get that regression regardless. You probably hav enough going on towards the end of your pregnancy.

One of our NCT group waited until after her second was born, her first DC suddenly showed an interest and was away (when new baby was a couple of months old). I wouldn't push if I didn't have he preschool deadline... (well I suppose that I could send him when he is older, but all of his peers will be in preschool by then - must have been since Sept! - and I know he will love it...).

emsyj Mon 22-Oct-12 21:43:18

Fingers crossed then, maybe when she sees the baby in nappies she won't want them any more?? It is frustrating though, even Peppa Pig knickers won't pique her interest! Oh well.

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 21:51:25

DS loves his "Cars" pants (from M&S) and has been wearing them, but still won't do it in the potty.

Plan to go cold turkey next week and see what happens. Will post an update.

ConstantCraving Mon 22-Oct-12 22:02:19

Hi, my plan was cold turkey - no nappies and stay in all week (have a week off work). BUT - after a pathertic 2 days I have bought some pull-ups so we can go out, as otherwise I will go stir crazy! We have had the potty around for a year now - with no real interest. DD was 3 last week and we had talked about being a big girl and using the potty and she seemed up for it - but guess the reality is a little different! My revised plan is as much time at home as possible in pants and trying to catch a wee - with short trips out in the pull-ups, which I'm hoping will be psychologically different enough to nappies and not set us back (not that we can go much further back!) My DS was so different - potty trained at 2, but they are VERY different personailities.

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 22:38:37

We have some pull ups, but not a huge fan... If DS has a big poo in a pair then it tends to get nasty....

Pain in the @rse, as until about 6 months ago DS used to do poos by the clock and NEVER did a poo out, now he really isn't very fussy where he does it (people's houses, in the car, on he floor in the John Lewis restaurant... you get the idea!). I almost feel as though we missed the boat in some respects....

May well go stir crazy if I don't take DS out... Wonder if I am brave enough to take him out in pants (well just trips to the park)? I have "piddle pads" for the carseat grin

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 22:39:38

(the boy place he won't do a poo now is the potty/toilet! grin )

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 22:40:06

Only place even

Tincletoes Mon 22-Oct-12 22:43:16

For my similarly reluctant DS1, although I had tried bribes without success, the thing that finally clinched it was a huuuuge jar of sweets that was very very visible ( albeit very high up)! Having something so in his face finally persuaded him and it all happened very quickly after that.

And the sweet jar was gone after about a week so no long lasting habits!

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 22:52:39

Interesting Tincletoes. I do keep holding bags if cadburys buttons I front of him a d the stickers and his sticker chart, no luck so far.... But will bare the sweet jar in mind smile


CelticPromise Mon 22-Oct-12 23:00:54

Just marking to follow this thread.

My DS is 3 and 2 months and not remotely interested. I tried putting him in pants and staying at home but I had 5 pairs of pants in the nappy bucket by lunchtime, and had spent a LOT of time cleaning the floor. He will sit on the toilet but nothing happens.

Fortunately his pre school are happy to change him. And so is the local school if necessary...

QTPie Mon 22-Oct-12 23:24:09

Blimey, CelticPromise, wish we had your school! Would certainly take the pressure off....

I am sure that DS is ready, bu trying to make a toddler do something the don't want to is always like hitting your head onto a concrete wall.

Iceaddict Mon 22-Oct-12 23:36:06

my DD is 2.7 she has been having a go at using the potty/toilet for about a month, she will stay dry all day but will poo in her knickers so I'm just being patient so far hoping she'll get it. DS was much faster, sorry don't have a better answer, have you tried taking him potty shopping maybe picking his own potty will encourage something. good luck

CelticPromise Tue 23-Oct-12 00:04:53

QT is your pre school the only option? Sounds like a lot of pressure. DS's takes from 2 up so they are not expected to be trained. DS was very premature and quite young for his age in all sorts of ways, am hoping he'll grow out of this one. We talk a lot (more than I'd like!) about wees and poos and where they go but... nothing.

I've tried shopping and bribing with no luck. I think he's just not ready. I expect we'll get there in the end!

ConstantCraving Tue 23-Oct-12 11:56:19

The pull-ups are a no go - DD took one look and refused to put them on. They are too much like nappies... so i guess its good that she's focused on staying in pants, but she still isn't using the potty. Managed a quick shopping trip this morning and are now home, DD bare botttomed and me hovering again...

ConstantCraving Tue 23-Oct-12 13:32:23

YES!!!! 1st wee in potty!!!! DD very proud - hopefully this is a turning point!

QTPie Fri 02-Nov-12 23:25:26

Hi ConstantCraving how's it going?

We have progress!

Started Sunday night and so far only 3 accidents (2 wees and 1 poo) in the 5 days. He started off not wanting to do it (and holding it), but he has relaxed completely in respect to wees (and doing them well and relaxed). Still fighting poos (had first one in the potty this evening - others this week have been in his nappy at nap/sleep tome and one in his pants yesterday), but I am confident it will go the same way as the wees and he will relax smile

We have been outs a few times (park Tuesday, Thursday AM and Thursday PM and toddler gym this morning) and no accidents out yet (dreading that).

Feel the need to progress to him doing it on the toilet and potette too - so that he can start being comfortable doing it out.

Lots of stickers and chocolate used for rewards (and ice cream for poo).

Still a way to go, but feeling good so far smile

ConstantCraving Sat 03-Nov-12 21:45:20

well done QT - sounds like its going really well! We've given up for a bit as by the end of the week DD wasn't going at all on the potty and was getting anxious and upset. I don't know that she's quite ready yet, so going to wait a month or so and then try again.

QTPie Sat 03-Nov-12 22:24:52

ConstantCraving. Sounds like a good plan. We tried at the end of July and it wasn't happening: a few months rest (allowing both of us to regroup) and it is really working. Sometimes the right decision is to completely back off. I think that potty training is such a "mental thing" (for both child and parent): if the time isn't right, it isn't right.

Good luck.

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