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6 months in and 3yo DS still pooing in pants - what should I do?

(33 Posts)
Myneaux Wed 19-Sep-12 09:52:11

DS is 3. We started potty training at Easter and we have made some progress. He definitely 'gets' it and know where he should od his wee's and poo's.

We can go several days (maybe even a week or so) with no accidents at all. If we are at home he will remember to tell me 90% of the time if he needs a poo or a wee.

The trouble is that if he is at nursery (2 days), if we are out or if we have friends round he simply forgets...becomes too engrossed in what he is doing and would rather poo in his pants than leave the fun. Annoyingly sometimes I can see he needs to go and yet when I ask him he becomes irritated and then will poo in his pants five mins later.

So far I have just tried to be relaxed about it...just reminded him that he should have asked to go to the toilet and to remember next time. No doubt he can tell that I am slightly irritated and a bit cross.

What do I do....should I just be waiting for him to grow out of this or is there anything I can do. He doesnt usually respond well to reward charts...and its almost as though he is just too distracted when 'in the moment' to think about future rewards anyway. Should I tell him off?

Already starting to panic about school next year (silly I know !)

Pancakeflipper Thu 27-Sep-12 12:17:30

I read your post Loony. Grabbed the red book and phoned the HV. Whoever it was on the end of the phone was actually lovely and had some ideas I haven't considered. She is also going to send me a handout with ideas about children who won't poo on the loo. If it is any good I will send copies to any of you who'd like a look.

I am going to get my head around the ideas she gave me today and tomorrow begin trying them out.

Ideas given, sitting on the loo blowing bubbles ( relaxes the bum apparently).
Them taking some responsibility when doing a poo in pants/pull up. With negativity in fact with no attention they remove their trousers and pants. If possibly they do some cleaning up, they put the dirty pants wherever they go when dirty or throwing them out, then get new ones out.
Making a photo book of going for a poo which they help make.

Ta for the poo support x

LoonyRationalist Thu 27-Sep-12 13:03:31

Hi Pancake, really glad to hear you got great support from your HV. I'd love a copy of the handout when it arrives if you wouldn't mind.

Let us know how the new strategies work smile

We do do the responsibility/consequences on cleaning up thing too. I don't do it quickly ;) DD2 has to fetch wipes and clean underwear & take rinsed out underwear to laundry basket. The occasions when she has cleaned herself up leave me reluctant to make her try more - I can change her with only knickers/bottom dirty, on one memorable occasion when she tried herself she even needed her hair washed!

Blowing bubbles is said to work for many, no result for DD2 though, although I must try again as it was a few months ago when I last gave it a go.

trixie123 Wed 03-Oct-12 15:57:58

can I join this one? DS is 3.2 and has been training for about 4m. He is 90% there with wees, though only because we insist on him going at regular intervals, only occasionally does he take the intitiative himself. Poos are hopeless. In the whole time, we've had about 4 poos in the potty or toilet, mostly loose ones that happened by accident when weeing (sorry, tmi). He knows that "poos go in the toilet" and watches me flip it from his pants down the pan but has no desire to sit on either the potty or the toilet sad. No different advice to anyone else I'm afraid, but will watch and hope.

Pancakeflipper Wed 03-Oct-12 16:44:05

Loony - I have the handouts. PM me if you want a copy of them. Probably not groundbreaking to you but it's helped us to improve the poo situation. If anyone else wants a copy PM me.

Currently he will wee in the loo. And then he started to let me he was going to do a poo on the proviso I would put a nappy on him - so I would put a nappy on him and he would stay in the bathroom and do a poo in it. Now for the last 3 days he will say he wants a poo, we put a nappy on and he sits on the loo with the nappy on. It's utterly bonkers but it's an advancement for us and he feels some control in this (I think).

Hello Trixie x. It's hard isn't it? Just acting like it doesn't matter is hard.

Pancakeflipper Wed 03-Oct-12 18:44:04

Ooooh stand by your pull-ups ..... DS2 now aged 4 has done a poo on the loo this evening without the nappy on. He was a little tense so we watched 2 guinea pigs doing daft stuff on YouTube and he poo'd.

umboo Thu 04-Oct-12 01:26:10

Hi pancake, well done to your ds!!! I've pmed you for the leaflet you mentioned above. Thanks smile

byhec Thu 04-Oct-12 02:27:59

We had a similar problem with DD. Phoned a charity called ERIC who gave us some good ideas but what worked with us was giving DD increased responsibility for going to the loo and all of a sudden she stopped pooing in her pants, she's still nit 100% reliable but she's getting there.

LoonyRationalist Thu 04-Oct-12 11:53:41

Go Pancake's DS!
Here's to more future sucesses smile

Guinea pigs you say? Well it's worth a try..

<puts youtube on standby for when DD2 gets home from playgroup>

Will PM you too, thanks!

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