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Potty training

My three year old...

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VerityClinch · 12/07/2012 13:01

DD has just turned three. Developmentally, she has always been behind the curve, but never quite enough to get "red flagged". Didn't walk until 16 months but was a very early talker. Massive vocabulary, really complex sentences but still quite unclear to those who aren't tuned in to her. Has only this week gone into a Big Girl Bed.

Potty training went well for a few days, then she got bored and started wetting again, then she got stroppy, refused to be taken for a wee or sit on the potty, saying she didn't need to, then wet minutes later. This was over the course of about six weeks and I have put her back in nappies.

She will occasionally take herself off for a wee at home or nursery and sometimes even manages a poo. Nursery have been v good with her and I think are disappointed I've put her back in nappies as they thought she was ready but regressing a bit and they said that was common.

I am really in two minds. She's very articulate and also stubborn. Is she maybe just being lazy? Being wet or dirty never bothered her as a baby, but now when she wets (if not in a nappy) she will tell me and ask for new trousers.

Her nighttime nappy is always soaking - I heard that night dryness is something to do with when the brain starts to produce a certain chemical, is just a matter of timing so can't be rushed - is that true and is there any correlation with day dryness (asking as she has been late developmentally so would expect her to be late with night dryness)?

Sorry that's so long - wanted to ask all my questions before we re-embark on another go in a few weeks time!

TIA to anyone with any comments/suggestions.

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AmyJo80 · 12/07/2012 15:07

My DD did exactly the same, refusing to go, saying she didn't need then wetting herself or pooing. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think she just grew out if it and matured. Alot of it was laziness and she still is at times! I didn't put her back in nappies but I can understand your frustration! I'm currently trying to get her dry at night (out of pull ups), she went a week being dry and now has wet every night for the past week. So frustrating and the washing is constant! She is 3 yrs 5 months. Btw reward charts , treat etc made no difference!! Good luck.x

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girlywhirly · 12/07/2012 15:55

Yes you are right about night dryness. In fact some DC are dry at night before they are during the day, proving that is developmental. You can't predict when the hormone will be produced that slows urine production down and makes it concentrated, and at the same time an awareness of the full bladder that wakes them to go to the loo.

You might find that there is a family history on either yours or her dad's of being wet at night until older. The day wetting might possibly have something to do with her development, but it's difficult to be sure. It definitely has nothing to do with intelligence.

I agree that at times it is too much bother for them to stop what they're doing and go to the loo, they hold on and hold on for as long as they can, and refuse to go when you tell them. It is frustrating, but really the only way is to hand over responsibility entirely to her and not nag. She can choose whether to take herself to the loo as she does sometimes, or she can sit in her wet clothes. Don't be in a great hurry to change her when she asks to be changed, and keep it a quick and pretty boring affair with no chat. I think the more of a non issue you make of it, the less there is for her to be stubborn about.