My daughter will not sit on the potty

[oliviawilcks]

My daughter is now coming up for 2 and a half, she is totally ready to potty train, she tells me when she wees and poos but she outright refuses to sit on a potty or toilet. She will stand there in her knickers telling me she is doing a wee, i have tried bribery, any suggestions? Not helped by the fact that i have a 9 week old who is of course in nappies, i think it is an attention seeking thing. Please help!!

[ReallyTired]

Even if she is physically ready she maybe not emotionally ready with all that is going on if her life. Having a 9 week sibling is quite a big change.

There are various books that can introduce the idea of potty training to your little girl. Or you could get a doll that wees and she could toilet train dolly. Let her run round the garden with nothing on and the potty nearby. If she says she needs a wee then tell her to do it in the potty.

It will come.

[kateyfer]

I'm in exactly the same position Oliviawilcks, dd1 is 2.4 and Dd2 is 6 weeks old. Dd1 knows exactly when she needs/has wees and poos, but refuses to do them in the potty (deliberately going to a corner and weeing in her knickers).

We have tried putting her dolly on the potty and she loves this game, telling her to have a wee and wiping dollies bottom, but she stubbornly refuses to wee in the potty herself.

We have tried reward charts, bribery, and "big girl now" speeches, all of which she nods along to and agrees that she will use the potty, and will reluctantly sit on the potty when we ask her to (following much crotch holding so it's obvious she needs the loo), but will then get off and wee in her knickers minutes later.

We have a potty training book for her to read which is good (Girl's potty time) which she enjoys reading, but she just doesn't seem to get it for herself. She also doesn't seem to be bothered by having wet knickers/trousers.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

[insancerre]

There is a big jump from knowing that they are doing a wee or a poo to recognising that they need to do it.
The first is simply being aware of bodily functions.
The second is having the control over their bodily functions.
it's 2 different things.
I have potty trained loads of children as a nursery nurse working with 2 year olds and I would say that you are both nearly there, so don't give up hope yet. It is just a process that can take some time.
Maybe back off a litle bit and give them some space, put them back in nappies or pull-ups and concentrate on getting them used to sitting on the potty before expecting them to use it.
Maybe offer a reward for sitting on it, or make it part of a game or introduce it at regular times, maybe after lunch or at bath times.
You cna't really expect a child to potty train if they are not comfortable at sitting on the potty or toilet. It can be quite scary for some children. The toiloet can be quite loud when it is flushed. also, childen can pick up on parent's anxieties and this can become a barrier for children.

[kateyfer]

Thanks insancerre - will try the regular sitting on potty without expectation of 'producing' and after mealtimes as well which are really sensible suggestions!

[CatsSleepAnywhere]

I have similar problems with my DD. I was told by my Health Visitor to get her used to sitting on the potty with clothes on first. when they get the hang of this you can try them without pants on. It does take time though so you just have to hang in there!

[Tetisheri]

My older daughter is nearly 3 and only just trained - she was ready for weeks - she'd run round without a nappy on and would come and ask for a nappy when she needed to wee or poo, but would refuse point blank to have anything to do with the potty.

Then I had a lightbulb-above-the-head moment and the next time she poo'd, I tipped it out of the nappy into her potty, then we took it upstairs together and flushed it down the loo, waving goodbye to it as it went! I only had to do this two times and then she just started sitting on the potty...worked like magic!

I don't think she actually really understood what the point of the potty was - it was probably a bit abstract - until she saw for real what it was for.