Poos in nappies

[BertieBotts]

Okay, so, seem to have daytime wees perfectly under control, at least at home and slowly getting there with other people's houses/public toilets. (If nothing else he can hold it for hours )

But, DS is terrified of doing a poo on the potty or toilet. I got him to do half of one once by cheerfully popping him on halfway through an accident and he screamed like he was being tortured :( I cuddled him and reassured him all the way through and told him that he was very brave, hey, look, it wasn't that bad, you've done it! etc etc but no difference, he's still terrified.

So decided that if he really was that worried we'd let him have nappies for poos for a while longer. Only he will ask for a nappy to do a poo, and then end up keeping it on all day and doing all his wees in it, and not pooing. So it seems totally pointless. Today I said no, he could have pants on and if he needed a poo he could do it on the potty, but he's held it in all day and is currently screaming now because I think he's constipated :(

He is 3 and needs to be in pants when he starts nursery in 3 weeks. They can cope with accidents. But I don't want to go back to pants full time when he was doing so well. But it's not fair to make him make himself constipated either :( What have others done?

[BertieBotts]

*back to nappies full time

[BertieBotts]

bump

[Asturimama]

When he does his nappy on, does he squat or sit to do his poo? One of my nephews could only go standing up, so even though he could tell you when he needed one, then he wouldn't do it on the potty or toilet and would cry out of frustration.
They started standing him up over the toilet to do it and gradually making him squat and then sit on it.
Maybe your DS also prefers to go standing up?

[BertieBotts]

Yes he does seem to prefer standing up, he won't even sit on the potty/toilet with a nappy on to poo, he also likes doing it in his bedroom by himself. He will sometimes squat, though tends to be if he is playing at the same time. Perhaps he's just not liking the idea he'd have to stop playing to go and poo have tried the reading books/singing songs/TV while he's on the loo/potty though to no effect.

I have offered him as a transition kind of thing to stand up over an unfolded cloth nappy, which worked once, but wasn't very nice to clean up, and he hasn't wanted to do it since.

[BertieBotts]

Okay, this is not going well. I let him have a nappy on at about 11 but said it was just for a little while. He still hasn't pooed so I've taken it off him but now he's completely distraught! Perhaps I should just encourage him to wear pants and even if he has a poo accident just say that's okay? I don't want to make him more upset over this but we are not going back to nappies all day every day.

[CamperFan]

My DS1 used to ask for a nappy to poo in, even though he was completely dry during and night from 2.6. I just let him, but it was always the same time of day, at home, so it was pretty easy to be relaxed about it. A few weeks after his 3rd birthday he went in the potty, I think it was just a gentle suggestion of mine that he have another go. Another 2 months after that we went on holiday so I didn't take the potty - that's when he progressed onto the toilet. I think you need to be consistent that the nappies are just for pooing and you take them back off, but stay relaxed and calm about it - "when you need a poo, tell mummy again", etc.

Having said that, you could just let him have nappies again for a couple of weeks and start afresh with a reward chart, but you have the pressure of nursery. I am surprised at that because most preschools I know are very relaxed about kids still being in nappies past 3. Would they rather an accident in pants or in a nappy?! If he is not ready then I would be having a word with the nursery - after all you can't force him to do them in a toilet.

[BertieBotts]

I was hoping to do that Camper, but he's asking for a nappy and then not pooing. He's STILL upset 15 minutes later and trying to put his own nappy back on so he can do a poo in it. Oh wait, no, now he's managed to put it on by himself. I just feel awful trying to get him to take it off when he's so distressed by it.

I thought they would be quite relaxed but they have sent me a bit of a snotty letter saying they need him as confident with using the toilet as possible. It is one linked to a school. I was hoping that seeing the other children doing it might help to relax him because at the moment all his friends are younger than him and he doesn't really have anyone to copy except the much older children at his CM who are all of school age.