FFfuckingS - AIBU to want to introduce electric shocks?

[DitaVonCheese]

FFS. 3 yo (just) DD has been potty training for something like 2 months. Most days are fine and then we have days like yesterday - wet herself four times - or today - 2 or 3 times depending on the timing of the wet patch on the sofa

I am so fucking fed up of it! Carrying multiple changes of clothes, pulling wet clothes off her, smell of piss and puddles everywhere. We had a long drive down to MIL's last week and she wet herself several times on the way so the whole car stank of piss for days and we had to wash the car seat cover (had a Summer Piddle Pad but it's completely shit). For the way back, she fought DH tooth and claw not to wear a nappy and was absolutely fine, dry as a bone.

She just doesn't seem to notice or care that she's wet. I know this is partly my own fault for spending three years training her to pee into a nappy but ffs shouldn't she have got it by now? I don't even know what the issue is - she tends to be better at home where she has free access to the potty but even then we've been in all afternoon and she's wet herself at least once.

She will strenuously deny she needs to go then wet herself ten or 20 minutes later.

Doesn't help that 12 wo DS is a massive puker so I spend most of my day soaked in everyone else's pee and vomit

Anyway, so far I've been all chilled - to her - about misses, "Don't worry, darling, it doesn't matter, just tell mummy next time, yes?" etc. It isn't working. WIBU to introduce a minor electric shock every time she misses from now on? I'm fairly confident she'll be dry within 48 hours.

[DitaVonCheese]

Btw, I am ECing DS

[girlywhirly]

Dita that sounds awful.

I think she's trying to get your attention away from the baby. Even arguing with you that she doesn't need to wee is getting your attention, as is being wet and needing to be changed and cleaned up. I guess that DS needs quite a bit of cleaning up himself at both ends, and she's competing.

Are you joking about the EC, do you think it might encourage DD to sit on a potty and do a wee if you held DS on a potty on your lap? You know, so as not to be outdone by a baby, see who can wee first, she gets positive attention from you for sitting on the pot and trying? A kind of bonding exercise if you like. You could instigate regular potty times e.g. after meals,

Oh, do have DD checked for a urine infection. It was when you said the whole car smelled that made me wonder, also the constant wetting. An infection can cause urgency and lack of control as well as the burning/stinging when actually weeing. Also check for constipation, which has an effect on bladder control.

[DitaVonCheese]

So today we have had pee on the potty before soft play, pee on the loo once we got to soft play before going in, pee on the loo just before leaving soft play, came in and peed on the sofa

Thanks for the reply. I hadn't thought it might be linked to DS's arrival, mainly because we only started PT after he arrived and it seemed to be going really well to start with - it's only the past few weeks it's been bad I think. It just feels a bit like she doesn't really care if she's wet or not so can't always be arsed to get to the potty/loo in time Thank god she seems to be okay with pooes which she does in the potty or in her nappy if it's first thing in the morning.

She doesn't seem to be jealous of DS at all and I think I'm possibly paying more attention to her than him

I am serious about the ECing - no way I'm going through this again! I was downplaying it to start with as I didn't want to steal DD's thunder - I think DS pooed on the loo long before she did.

Very interesting idea re urine infection, partly because she's had a rash on her bottom for absolutely ages, which we're treating with various creams. The GP saw it a couple of weeks ago and didn't suggest it could be internal iyswim but it does make me wonder. She doesn't complain of pain when peeing though. This is a stupid question but how do I get her checked - take a potty in to the surgery then decant it into a sample bottle? Can they do some sort of instant test or will I need to go back for results?

[tabbycat7]

Re the urine infection: yes. Collect some and they'll test it.

Your dd sounds an awful lot like my ds2. I started potty training him at 2.8 and it's only been the last couple of months that he's stopped going in his pants. He's 3.11. He was an absolute nightmare, I tried everything I could think of. I kept a potty downstairs, I let him run about with no pants or trousers on, I made sticker charts, bribed him with chocolate buttons, we even bought a novelty toilet seat!! Nothing worked. He just didn't care, so in the end I stopped worrying. If he went in his pants he had to get himself cleaned up and find some clean clothes and I tried very hard not to bat an eyelid. About 6 weeks ago he suddenly decided that he wants to be a big boy and now he goes in the toilet :). He was a very laid back baby and even as a fetus I would go for a whole day without feeling him move, and would be on the point of calling the midwife when I would feel him kick! He was the same with using cutlery and with giving up his dummy. He did it when he decided that he wanted to.

It is awful isn't it, when everything smells of wee the whole time, but there are very few 20 year olds who are still piddling themselves :) She'll grow out of it. Good luck :)

[girlywhirly]

Definitely sounds like a control thing, if there was an infection, she wouldn't be able to control her wetting anywhere, and she was obviously capable at soft play. Plus she was probably enjoying herself and didn't want to embarrass herself in front of others, whereas at home I guess she thinks it's only mum and it doesn't matter. You could start telling her when to go to the loo at home as well as when out to minimise the floods everywhere.

Tip for sofa protection; Pampers bed mats under a fleece throw. Looks OK and stops the wee soaking into the sofa, the fleece is quick and easy to wash and dry. Or cut a cheap plastic shower curtain to fit the sofa seat, old towel on top, then fleece throw. I reckon a 2x2m curtain should do a three seater and two chairs.