Really need some advice

[rockinmum]

Hiya,
My 3 year old daughter will use the toilet with a training seat but not without unless I give her a cuddle/hold her there when she is desperate. Plus she still refuses to do poo's on it and constantly does it in her pants. However, the main problem I have at the moment is that the nursery she goes to have lower down toilets, but with a full sized adult seat. So obviously she won't use it while she is there (only mornings) this means she either wets herself or gets so diestressed that they interpret it as bad behaviour. Today she has refused to go in the classroom and take part in any activities and when I collected her she got very distressed outside nursery and peed for approx 1 minute straight as soon as we were in the door. Really don't know what to do now, we make sure she goes before we leave for nursery, but all the nursery say is that they don't want to distress her.