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Keen, but has absolutely no idea she's going to wee before it happens

(8 Posts)
moosemama Thu 08-Sep-11 11:48:35

Dd is 2.7. We tried a couple of months ago and she just wasn't ready, didn't understand what we wanted her to do, was happy to sit on her toilet seat, but no matter how long we were there for she didn't do anything then had an accident within a couple of minutes of getting down.

We went straight to the toilet, because that's what I did with both my ds and they took to it straight away with barely an accident between them - although to be fair they were both over 3.

So, gave it a rest for a while, had a think, read the MN potty training threads - invested in a potty and decided to try again once her brothers were back at school.

She is dry at nap times and overnight, poos at roughly the same time every day and goes a long time between wees (always at least an hour, longest 3 hours! shock).

Started on Tuesday with sitting her on the potty and rewarding her with one chocolate button when she did a wee and two for a poo. Had one accident, but got 4 wees and 1 poo in the potty. BUT every single time she did a wee it took her totally by surprise and they were only caught because she's particularly fond of sitting on the potty for long periods of time at the moment.

Wednesday was ok. Again several wees, plus one poo done on the potty - but again, she appeared to have no idea she was going to do them, they just happened and surprised her when she'd been sitting on the potty for quite a while. She had two accidents. Once when she was concentrating on trying to get a toy from the bottom of her toybox and one just about half an hour after her poo, because she was insistent she didn't need to wee and refused to sit back down after I'd cleaned the potty.

This morning, we've had two wees on the potty. One first thing after she got up and one just after the school run, plus she was very proud to have done a poo - which is odd, because she never poos at that time normally. confused Then she's just had an accident and yet again, had no idea she was going to do it until it happened.

I'm not sure what to do now. She's doing really well with her attitude, she's very willing to sit on the potty and is loving being rewarded for going, but I don't think she is actually in control of the process at all - I think we've just been lucky because she's spent such a vast amount of time sitting on her potty so far this week.

I don't want to stop if there's a chance she's just going to get a lightbulb moment and start to recognise the signs that a wee is imminent, but then again, she gets very upset when she has an accident and I don't want that to discourage her either.

What do you think - is she not quite ready/should I shelve it for a couple more weeks and just use the potty at home before and after sleeping, at bathtime and before/after meals - or should I just carry on and hope she 'gets it' soon?

moosemama Thu 08-Sep-11 15:53:21


stargirl30 Fri 09-Sep-11 14:18:58

No idea but i'm watching with interest as my DD doesn't seem to know when she's going to wee either. She's a bit older (nearly 3) and unfortunately not as keen as your DD!
I'm trying a couple of hours bare bum time outside every day until she starts to get the idea. Don't know if it'll work but I don't know what else to try.

PishWife Fri 09-Sep-11 14:24:03

I can't remember where I heard this but it's served me well - first they tell you after they've done it, then they move onto telling you while they're doing it, then finally they tell you before they're going to do it. Takes a long time for a little mind to work out what the urge sensations are and what they mean and in what order, especially if whatever they do usually goes straight into a nappy and hides smile

First time DD did a poo without a nappy on she was completely freaked out at the sight of it and seemed to have no idea that it was anything to do with her, poor thing!

moosemama Fri 09-Sep-11 16:22:47

Oh thank you for your replies, I was starting to thing we were a lost cause! grin

She's still doing exactly the same as she has all week, sitting on her potty for extended periods, then a wee takes her completely by surprise. No accidents today, but only because she's chosen to spend much of the day sitting on her new favourite seat. hmm

I have worked out that we can safely have her off the potty for about an hour and a half after she's done a wee, without her having an accident. She often goes much longer than that, but she gets so upset about accidents that I tend to suggest she tries again after an hour and a half, but then she'll sit there for another hour and produce nothing. She tends to go for ages in between and then nearly fill the potty!

PishWife, dd was rather unnerved by her first poo on the potty as well. She was sitting on her potty and the first I knew about it she suddenly said "what's that smell?", so I asked her to stand up and sure enough she'd pooed. Then she looked at it and said "what's that in my potty, do something Mummy - clean it!" with a panicked look on her face. I explained that it was her poo and she didn't believe me at first!

Still not sure of the best way forwards. Last night when she was tired she refused to go on the potty before bed for dh and got very upset about it asking for her night-nappy, so we didn't push it and just got her into her pjs and night-nappy. I was half thinking she might refuse again today and thought if she did it might be best to give it a break, but she's been happy to go back on all day again.

DitaVonCheese Sun 11-Sep-11 22:52:06

DD is 3 in a couple of weeks and has only just got it over the past week - over the past 6-12 months we've had occasional nappy off days (usually at her request) but she's always appeared to be astonished to see pee appearing. About a week ago she suddenly said "I'm going to do a wee" so I said "Shall we do it on your potty?" and we've not looked back, but before then it seemed to be a fairly hopeless cause. So I'd advise putting nappies back on and trying again in a few weeks, but then I am particularly lazy ;)

moosemama Mon 12-Sep-11 10:31:51

Thank you. DitaVonCheese, your post has put my mind at rest.

There seems to be such a lot of pressure from other people to get her out of nappies. So many people seem to comment that they are surprised she's not potty trained, I thinks possilbly because she's done everything else early, everyone expected her to be early with this too.

We've been camping this weekend, so decided to put her back in nappies and see what happened. She did ask to go on the potty when she got up in the morning, but after that she flatly refused. She's also refused point blank to go on it this morning, so I'm just not pushing it with her, as she's very tired after the weekend and I don't want it to become a battle.

She is now telling us every time she does a wee in her nappy, but only after she's started, so I don't think she's quite ready yet.

We will carry on doing the potty at home regularly and watch for the signs that she's getting advance warning that she needs to go.

DitaVonCheese Mon 12-Sep-11 20:39:14

I know what you mean re pressure - we go and see my granny every week and every bloody week she was surprised all over again that DD wasn't PTed yet - she had eight kids and they were all PTed at 18 months apparently hmm Then we would yet again have the conversation about how she had cloth nappies so there was more of an incentive to PT and again she would be surprised all over again that we were also using cloth. I know she's just forgetful, not malicious, but it did get a little wearing!

Re doing things early, I'm just assuming that different DC put their energies into different things eg DD has always had an amazing vocabularly but didn't walk until she was 15.5 months and is relatively late with the PT too. Having said that, nearly 3 doesn't seem to be particularly late these days - I know lots of mums whose DC were ready earlier but plenty who haven't started yet. We are tentatively ECing with 7 wo DS though wink

Good luck smile

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