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DS will take himself to potty but won't SAY when he needs to go. Help!

(8 Posts)
MrsBradleyCooper Mon 22-Aug-11 15:27:24

Hi everyone

Tried to train DS at 2 and 2.6 with little success, so decided to leave it until he was 3.

Within a few days he was taking himself to the potty with no accidents - we even ventured out on day 4 and he managed to stay dry.

Did this for about 10 days, then we went on holiday. Made the mistake of using pull-ups as we had lots going on so he has regressed a lot.

Started again yesterday with the potty, but he is still using it perfectly with no accidents, so today I have been trying to get him to use the toilet instead.

The problem that I have is that whilst he knows he needs to go, he doesn't actually tell me that he needs to go, and if the potty is not in the room, or if we are out and about he will just wet himself.

How do I get him to tell me? I have tried bribery ("If you tell mummy you need to go you can have a chocolate button"), but it has not been working so far.

I am really stressing as he is back at preschool in a few weeks, and before the holidays he was the only child in the class in pull-ups. It doesn't bother me, but it affects him because I think he feels like he is not like all the other children sad.

Really want to get it cracked in the next few weeks so any advice appreciated smile.

girlywhirly Mon 22-Aug-11 16:47:02

Why not go back to having the potty to hand and forget about the loo for the moment. See how DS is managing in a fortnight before re-starting this.

It's true that a lot of DC would rather be independent and attend to their own toilet needs, but it would be helpful if he would tell you so that you can help him find a loo etc when out. You could resort to taking a potty around with you and getting him to use it whether you think he needs to or not.

Another way of looking at this is he knows you are stressing about getting him trained and it is stressing him too. Maybe he feels shy to ask you, or he could be wary of going to unfamiliar toilets. Or he could be so distracted by whatever is going on while out he doesn't want to leave it to use the loo. You might need to up the level of bribery. Has he learned to wee standing up, outdoors, this can be a turning point for some little boys!

MrsBradleyCooper Mon 22-Aug-11 17:50:37

Hi girlywhirly, thanks for the advice smile

Perhaps I am expecting too much too soon?

No he has not mastered weeing standing up yet - was going to leave that until later on, however my mum has some of those little ping pong balls with smiley faces on that you put in the toilet so they may amuse him grin.

girlywhirly Mon 22-Aug-11 18:05:36

He did have a set back when you put him in pull-ups, so it's almost like going back to the beginning for him. Using potty if he can do this himself, and getting reliable with it before moving to the next stage. Would DS be willing to just say 'potty' to you when he needs to go when out, rather than trying to differentiate between whether he needs a wee or a poo before it's to late?

I think he may like to try with the balls in the loo, but if not don't worry. DH could demonstrate what he needs to do! DS could be pleased with 'grown-up' wees, it was just a suggestion to motivate him into going when out.

MrsBradleyCooper Mon 22-Aug-11 18:14:51

Well I've told him that he just needs to shout out "I need to go to the toilet!", so it doesn't really matter which he needs, but he's just not been saying anything at all.

However, just after my last message, he did say "I need to go for a wee wee"! I had left him in the living room with no pants on because I don't think he can differentiate the feeling between them and a pull up. Anyway he has just asked again, so I think I'll try this approach again tomorrow so that he gets into the habit of asking.

Fingers crossed!

activate Mon 22-Aug-11 18:19:25

Just ask him every 30 mins to hour - or take him to the toilet every 30 mins to hour for a couple of days

he'll get it

MrsBradleyCooper Mon 22-Aug-11 18:26:13

Thanks smile

I was just worried that by taking him every half/hour, he would expect to be taken, and wouldn't get into the habit of asking to go IYSWIM?

Just concerned about the fact that they won't be able to take him every half hour at preschool.

He is already a bit wobbly about going there, and I know that if he starts having accidents, it will make him more unsettled.

activate Mon 22-Aug-11 18:31:11

you're overthinking it I think

he'll be fine

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