AIBU to not know what to do about the bedwetting?

[WidowWadman]

Daughter is 2.8 and has been dry during the nights without nappies for about 5-6 weeks, and a few weeks with dry night nappies before that.

She's currently on a course of antibiotics for a bladder infection, which was diagnosed last sunday after a couple of days of frequent accidents, and her having trouble using the potty.

She does not seem to have any pain anymore and doesn't struggle to use the potty at day time, or even in the evenings, when she will get up and take herself to the potty when she needs it (including emptying it into the toilet afterwards.

However, this is the third night in a row that she has wet her bed in the early hours of the morning. We've always simply changed her, stripped the dirty sheets off and let her sleep in our bed for the rest of the night. This morning she didn't even seem bothered by having wet herself anymore, but almost seems to see it as a routine.

So what can we do? Putting her back into nappies feels like a retrograde step.

Don't know whether it makes a difference, but the bladder infection and first accidents coincided with friends and their two children staying at our place for a week, during which she shared a room with the older girl, who's 6.

Any ideas? We're seeing the GP tomorrow again, to test the urine whether the antibiotic has worked, but I'm not sure whether this is something organic or has turned into something behavioural now.

[sausagesandmarmelade]

Must be very difficult for you....perhaps even quite exasperating.

You seem to be handling the situation really well. Have you tried limiting drinks before bedtime and putting her on the toilet before you go to bed yourself?

[ziggyf]

Personally, I'd put her in a pair of pull-ups for a few nights - there's no way I'd be up stripping the bed every night in the early hours!

[ziggyf]

I wouldn't be limiting fluids if she has a bladder infection either.

[joric]

She's only 2.8!!!!
Do the usual, no drinks before bed and use toilet.
Put a bed sheet under her for accidents and RELAX!
Children go through phases..
She'll be dry again before you know it.

[pjmama]

2.8 is very young to be expected to be consistently dry at night. Its not unusual for children to be toilet trained in the day but still in pull ups for bed until they're much older than that. I'd just put her in a pull up and take the pressure off, it's not a retrograde step, it really doesn't matter. She'll be dry at night when she's ready.

[joric]

Not limiting fluids ALL day... Just before bed.

[knobbysEx]

I used to get my child up for a wee when I went to bed a few hours after she'd gone down. Minimised accidents pretty well.
2.8 is very young to be dry through the night though!

[sausagesandmarmelade]

Have to add that it's soooo normal for young children to wet the bed...and of course most grow out of it.

Nothing wrong with restricting fluids before bedtime...the child won't suffer any damage.

A protective sheet is good....and maybe (as someone suggested) a pull up nappy.

The worst thing you could do would be to get angry with the child....but it doesn't seem as if you are doing this, which makes me think that you are handling it all very well.

[DoMeDon]

I would wait for the outcome about the UTI before restricting fluids. But I would watch the timing of the bedtime drink and make sure she has a try before bed.

I would stop bringing her into your bed. Put a protector over the sheet, plus a top sheet which you can strip off when she wets and put her back to bed.

I wouldn't completely ignore it. I would gently explain bed wetting is not OK in the long term. If it continues I would wake her up about half hour before she normally wets and gett her to use potty. It may reset her mind to waking up for the toilet.

[sausagesandmarmelade]

I would wait for the outcome about the UTI before restricting fluids. But I would watch the timing of the bedtime drink

Which is exactly the same as my suggestion to restrict drinks before bedtime

[WidowWadman]

We only started leaving the night nappies off when they were dry in the morning for quite some time, and she also had woken in the night to take herself to the potty, so it's nothing we had forced on her really, but she seemed to be ready. We never had to wake her for a wee, she woke herself. We never reduced drinks before bed time, either, because we thought that the amount of liquid before bed doesn't matter.

That's why we find it so surprising that she now doesn't wake up and go anymore, when she was perfectly dry for well over a month already.

Thanks for all your replies.

[faverolles]

I wouldn't restrict fluids at all, particularly after a bladder infection.
DD had a UTI, and the dr mentioned she would be more likely to have accidents, as the bladder will have been very irritated, and will take time to get back to normal.
2.8 is very young to be dry at night too, so I would put her in pull-ups for the time being and forget about it - no pressure on you or her. When she's fully recovered, you'll probably find she will be dry again.

[DoMeDon]

back at you sausage. WTF are you quoting me for? MNers give similar advice shocker!! I raise your with a

[NoodlesMam]

My DD2 is on steriods and as a result her immune system is weak and she picks up any bug/virus going. I've found that once the initial illness has passed she tends to sleep deeper, possibly her tired little body trying to recover? Anyway this often results in a wet bed (she's 3.2). I don't make a fuss at all, it lasts a few nights and then she's back to normal and wakes if she needs the toilet. In general I would say my DD2 has been dry at night since she was 2.11, my DD1 was very young, she decided at 18 months she wouldn't wear a nappy at all (coincided with Grandma getting a new bathroom and it being ever so brilliant to wee on Grandma's new toilet) she had a few accidents but was dry both day and night completely by 19months!!!!

[WidowWadman]

Noodlesman We had wondered whether it might be a tiredness/deep sleep thing, too, so thanks for your posting.

For now we'll a) hope she doesn't wet the bed this night b) if she does, will change sheets and make her go back to her own bed rather than just taking her into ours c) also have a chat with the GP about it tomorrow. I'm not sure the UTI has completely cleared anyway, as her urine is still very dark

We're reluctant about the restriction of fluids/waking her to go to potty thing still.

Thanks for your advice everyone.

[neverputasockinatoaster]

Can I suggest that you 'double make' her bed? EG, put a bed protector down, cover with a sheet, a second bed protector and a second sheet. Then, if she wets the bed you strip off the top sheet and protector and there is another sheet ready to go!
I did this with both mine, my DS was late to be dry at night and not reliable for a while. He was trained to strip off the sheet, put on dry pjs and turn the duvet over...... not because I couldn't be bothered to get up but because he found it quicker than waiting for me to be able to focus!
DD has the same system.
I use washable protectors but there are disposable ones too.
DD was just gettign dry at night then we went on hols and it all went pear shaped but now wea re home she's dry again.
Good luck!

[Mandy2003]

It will be a setback due to the UTI. Don't stress, pyjama pants are made to fit up to 7 or 8 year olds so putting it in perspective she is still very young.

Try getting some pyjama pants and using them to reassure her that you know she is a big girl and she was doing well but she's got a poorly bladder and the pyjama pants are what big girls use, or somesuch!

[WynkenBlynken]

I really feel for you, my DC is nearly 7 and still not dry at night. Doctor not really interested. Was once told to up the fluid intake, which I did but made no difference, then was told to restrict fluid intake. Don't know what to do for the best as nothing works! Although I think in your place do not restrict fluid, it's needed to flush out the UTI.

I do think though all children do things at their own pace, and agree that 2.8 is still very young.

Good luck!

[madwomanintheattic]

wynken - dpc won't be interested until she is 7, as it's quite normal. no point wasting time that could be used on a patient with a medical issue to discuss a normal developmental stage.

i love this thread. it's v funny.

my 2yo with a uti wets the bed!

[devonshiredumpling]

i am incontinent sometimes at the age of 39 and all the advice of restricting fluids is drivel the best way to deal with this is to give as much fluid as your lo will take this will make her bladder feel full and also limiting drinks will in the long run irratate the bladder lining leaving it prone to infections and things like bladder stones later on . Try one drink of cranberry juice and that will improve general urinary health . All you can do is put her in pull ups for the time being and a bed protector and she will become dry in her own time

[strictlovingmum]

I also think it's just a blip after illness, and she will be her usual self when she fully recovers.
UTI are difficult for the adults let alone children, as soon as she recoup all her energy, she will be dry again. Good luck.
P.S would not put her back in the nappies, you come so far with potty, it can be a setback.

[LordOfTheFlies]

I was very late myself (probably 14 IIRC) and went through all the tests, plastic liners sweaty and noisy., hospital appointments, tablets.
I was the only one of 3 who had this problem.
I can remember acutely the embaressment and my parents accusing me of doing it to create more work. My mother told my best friends dad in front of my friend and me ' Oh yes, LOTF still wets the bed' when I was 13.
You don't forget the burning shame of that.
When I slept, I was Out of It. I would sometimes dream I was safely on the loo, hence my mind thought it was safe to wee.

When my own were going through the night dry phase I bought the washable bed covers and bed mats. Once they were out of pullups ( ie having dry pull up for a couple of weeks) I didn't go back (unless they were ill).
My DS does sleep heavy.We always joke you could have a Salvation Army Band in his room and he'd sleep through.

We found through trial and error that Ribena and ice-cream seemed to be the worst culprit.

But knowing myself what I went through, I would never tell them off or embaress them

[WidowWadman]

madwomanintheattic funny haha. Is it really so ridiculous to ask for advice of how to best deal with it?

It makes my child uncomfortable and especially since she's still quite young and can't talk about it much, I thought it would be worth getting some other parents' insight.

But I'm glad it provided some amusement to you. Have a to go with it

[devonshiredumpling]

imagine what it is like for me then to have your partner having a go at you for it .another idea is to keep your lo as warm as poss without being uncomfortable. lord did you also have the buzzer thing

[milkshakejake]

I would put her in a pullup until the UTI has definitely cleared. I am way too horrible when I don't get enough sleep, so getting up in the night to change sheets night after night just wouldn't be happening!

My son is nearly 7 and had a dry month after Christmas so we took off the pull-ups - now he's back in them as i was changing sheets every 3-4 nights and it was getting ridiculous. It's not a retrograde step, it's just dealing with what's happening right now, rather than fretting over getting dry at night. It doesn't really matter, you know.