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will only poo in a nappy - any ideas to break the impasse?

(9 Posts)
lannook Mon 15-Aug-11 12:27:43

DD is 3 1/2 yrs and has been using a toilet for wee for probably a 9 months but will only do a poo in a nappy. She has a fair bit of control as she asks for the nappy and then it is done. She did go through a stage of wanting it changing straight away but now will stay in it if left and will say she has not finished.

No idea how to move her onto the toilet.

any ideas would be much appreciated.

woollyideas Mon 15-Aug-11 12:29:46

My daughter did exactly the same until the day she started nursery. I had to tell the nursery staff (and DD was present) that although she was 'dry' she would still ask for a nappy to poo in. DD was very indignant and denied it! She never pooed in a nappy again! I'm sure this isn't helpful... but just to let you know that your DC isn't the only one!

inmysparetime Mon 15-Aug-11 12:36:47

It is quite common thing, kids can be scared of the dropping sensation of the potty poo. It's a really gradual process and will need lots of stickers and rewards to change entrenched behaviour.
Start by tipping the poo from the soiled nappy into a potty or toilet, then having her watch you flush it. Next stage, put a nappy in the potty and try to persuade her to go onto the nappy for a week or so, then put a wad of toilet paper in the potty, gradually reducing the amount of paper.

weetabixnraisins Mon 15-Aug-11 22:13:47

We have exactly this problem at the moment. DS is 3 and potty trained for wees but hates doing poos, will hold them in for days! He will ask for a nappy but he will also get the point where he is writhing around in pain screaming before he gives up and does one (alone in a room with the door shut is his preference)

I had to pick him up from nursery today because he was howling in pain with tummy ache (needing a poo but trying his hardest to not do one) and the staff were so worried about him. He had skidmarks in his pants and sure enough did one within 5 mins of being home, getting a nappy on and some privacy. I really don't know where to go from here - am encouraging and rewarding effort, but will try some of these ideas like nappy on potty, thank you!

Wiifitmama Mon 15-Aug-11 22:24:46

Us too. Ds3 just turned 3. Potty trained a few weeks ago. No problems at all with wees. Using the toilet now not potty. But oh my god the poos are a nightmare. He still wears a nappy at night and sometimes does his poo in that in the morning before we come get him. If he doesn't then he will hold it in for two days. The second day we end up going back and forth to the toilet a million times as he says he needs a wee (but he needs a poo) and he actually shakes with the effort of holding it in. He has pooed in the toilet a handful of times, but mostly not. A few times he has ended up pooing in his pants immediately after getting off the toilet as he can no longer hold it in.

Today we visited a (thankfully unrstanding) friend and spent most of the day in her bathroom and he still didn't do it. I ended up borrowing a nappy and putting Him in that in desperation, but he still didn't do it. He has tone to bed tonight not having pooed for two days. We are due to go swimming tomorrow but I won't take him if he hasn't done one in the morning as it will be a nightmare.

I have no idea what to do. Have tried bribery, patience, getting very very cross, etc. Nothing has worked.

SingingBear Mon 15-Aug-11 22:33:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Danthe4th Mon 15-Aug-11 22:42:51

Even if they need a nappy on to do a poo I would still try to encourage them to go in the bathroom or still sit on the potty. They can then get used to doing it in the correct place. Then gradually loosen the nappy or line the potty with the nappy or put paper in the toilet to stop the splash.

p99gmb Tue 16-Aug-11 16:10:26

Personally I had to ditch the nappy and for us it worked... he had no option BUT to do it, and after the first couple of times, got used to the experience and now not an issue at all...

I guess it depends on if you're a 'I'll let it happen in its own good time' type of person, or a 'I know he can control it, so we're gonna do this' type of person...

I did read a suggestion that may help - put a nappy on, cut out a hole where the poo will come, and sit them on potty/toilet.. perhaps a compromise???

PinkSchmoo Sat 20-Aug-11 21:44:56

WiiFit, I could have written your post word for word for DD, 2.4. I have nothing valuable to add here apart from regretting I ever started after 3 poos in pants in an hour this evening.

DD is dry, only one pee accident in weeks, using big toilet and even dry overnight but poos are hell. I have a day of tantrums when it comes to poo days and a million abortive attempts. Just so frustrating.

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