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explain night toilet training to me

(17 Posts)
phdlife Wed 16-Mar-11 23:38:05

ds is 3.11 and has been dry during the day since he was about 2.6, with about two accidents in that entire time.

but nights are proving to be a whole other story. Now I know we did a dumb thing taking him out of night nappies two weeks before he started kindy for the first time, but ds was very keen. problem is, he sleeps the sleep of the dead and does not wake up unless it's in a puddle and then he takes an hour to get back to sleep. 23m dd is also doing her bit to shorten my nights so after a few nights of having to change sheets at 2am I have been going in whenever she wakes me at 2,3,4 or 5 and carrying him to toilet where he stands up, wees, then collapses (literally, he'd fall if I didn't catch him) to be carried back to bed.

I am in a very bad way sleepwise; I cannot keep doing this. Think ds will be gutted at having to go back into nappies but I can't see another way atm. No point asking dh to do it, I'd just have to wake up to wake him up.

My brain is really bloody scrambled so if I'm missing something obvious please be gentle in pointing out. tia

DaphneHeartsFred Wed 16-Mar-11 23:48:09

You can't toilet train for night. At all. It's a hormonal connection in the brain, and if it isn't there yet well that's it. It's NOT going to happen. Get those pyjama pants and stop worrying. My DS is nearly 7 and is still in them.

bellabelly Wed 16-Mar-11 23:49:33

Will be watching this thrad with interest, hoping to get some wise tips! At the moment with our twin boys (age 3.7), they wear pull-up pants for night-times in case of accidents. Accidents are few and far between but do still happen. I heard somewhere that boys (girls too maybe?) aren't usually reliably dry at night until age 4-5. Not sure if that's true!

DaphneHeartsFred Wed 16-Mar-11 23:50:23

Ah, just re-read OP. 'Tis very important to stress that they are PYJAMA PANTS, not nappies. DS is quite happy with PYJAMA PANTS, nappies are for babies.


bellabelly Wed 16-Mar-11 23:50:56

Also, a potty at side of bed so if they do wake up needing a wee, it's v easy to just g on potty and roll back into bed.

Clarnico Wed 16-Mar-11 23:51:34


Until he starts producing less urine at night you can't train him, and that will only happen when the hormone (forgotten the name of it) starts being produced. Nothing you can do to influence it.

Back in the pyjama pants and wait till he starts waking dry before you readdress the issue.

NonnoMum Wed 16-Mar-11 23:58:23

My DD trained in the day at about 2.5 but was 4.5 got night time.

phdlife Thu 17-Mar-11 00:09:53

ok thanks for that. it seemed to me he was producing less urine at night but that may be a function of him not drinking enough water - we are southern hemisphere temps in the high 20s - and the smell of his wee could blister a cat.

phdlife Thu 17-Mar-11 00:12:24

ok gtg playschool has finished that's the end of my time,

pottynursey Tue 22-Mar-11 19:50:55

Most children get dry at night by the time they are 4-5 years old. To stay dry at night children need a bladder that has matured enough to be able to hold on to a large amount of urine, a mature system that is able to trigger the kidneys to concentrate urine overnight and good 'arousability' so the brain recognises full bladder signals even if the child is asleep. If this has all not clicked into place by the time the child is 5 then there are treatments available to help the child become dry. The charity PromoCon provides free advice and information about bedwetting and other toileting problems contact 0161 834 2001 for a booklet 'Talk about bedwetting' :-)

Clarnico Wed 23-Mar-11 12:16:59

This really isn't a concern till a child is over the age of 7, pottynursey. And even then the first course of action is to seek advice from a GP or HV.

And incidentally your information on physiology seems inaccurate.

Are you in some way affiliated with the site you mention?

pottynursey Wed 23-Mar-11 12:56:16

Hi Clarnico - the recent NICE guidelines on nocturnal enuresis recomended that treatments for bedwetting should be offered to all children over the age of 5 years - particularly if it is causing the child/familiy some distress.
The physiology bit is correct but has been very much simplified so people can understand and also be aware that bedwetting is outside the child's control and is very much dependent on the maturation of the systems within the child's body. I am a qualified paediatric nurse specialising in children with bladder and bowel problems :-)

seeker Wed 23-Mar-11 13:00:27

'Are you in some way affiliated with the site you mention?"

Could you address this point, pottynursery - before younpost anything else?

phdlife - go to pyjama pants and wait. It will happen - it's not something you can make happen. They need to be ready.

pottynursey Wed 23-Mar-11 14:10:48

Hi Seeker - yes I work as an advisor - we are a non profit making charity that provides free advice and information. So many parents out there struggle on their own and don't know what help and support is available - we try and point families in the right direction - and give appropriate info as necessary. we always advise families to seek help locallyif necessary but if you dont know what you dont know it is often difficult for families to know where to go and who to ask! The staff at PromoCon are all qualified professionals and the web site has a lot of useful resources which are free to download. I have 20+ years experience working within this topic and am also a mum and nana to 2 wonderful toddlers :-)

seeker Wed 23-Mar-11 17:41:43

Who funds you?

pottynursey Wed 23-Mar-11 18:57:21

Charitable donations and grants mostly - we also do occasional consultancy work for NHS - in this economic climate like all charities we struggle but we are the only national charity that does what we do - other charities can provide information but we are the only one staffed by qualified healthcare staff - I became disillutioned with the NHS many years ago when having to reach targets and tick boxes etc stopped us doing what we wanted to do ie providing the service and level of care I felt the children and their families deserved so I voted with my feet and went to the voluntary sector where I am able to act as an advocate for families ensuring they know their rights and the children get the care they deserve. We lobby the government and I sit on as many groups as I can to fight their corner - its hard work and a constant grind trying to bring the funding in but the job satisfaction and the feed back we get from grateful families keeps us going - we also do a similar service for adults - particularly the elderly who also seem to get the short end of the straw when it comes to health care. Well I will get off my soap box now...!!

Paucun Thu 28-Jul-16 17:24:39

Im soo pleased I read this thread. My DG is gojng to be 5 in a few weeks and still not 100% dry. I have alarms to wake me up through the night to take her and each time she goes. Some time we wake up dry and sometimes we dont.. not sure if i should continue with my routine or try the night nappy things?? Any help or advice cause im driving myself insane

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