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Tips to get 3 1/2 year old to stop pooing in nappies once put to bed

(10 Posts)
bumbly Sat 06-Nov-10 21:04:57

will not sit on potty or toilet...used to

never poos in them

ANYT tips?

jenniferturkington Sun 07-Nov-10 13:01:12

bumping for you, and watching with interest. My 3.5 yr old ds is the same, poos in his pull-up every evening. No wee acidents at all, but total poo refusal!

bumbly Tue 09-Nov-10 20:45:16

thanks for bump

particularly down tonight as took away star chart as that not working an iota and he now peed in floor when i isggested he try to sit on potty to poo

am totally baffled at his now peeing refression

treetrunkthighs Tue 09-Nov-10 20:49:37

Do they know they can shout you if they want to go to the toilet?

DD2 was saving her poos for her night time nappies until fairly recently.

Tried rewards, stickers etc. One night I just said if you need a poo, shout me and I'll take you to the toilet. It was like she hadn't even realised that she could, that I wouldn't mind being shouted up for that reason. She did that night and most nights ever since. Odd slip up but no big deal. We have tonight started work on the wees!

bumbly Tue 09-Nov-10 20:58:52

he jas monitor and clals me when tpys fall out of bed so e knows he can call me!!!

have just taken reward chart away as has no incicentive for him whatso ever

my child hates toy stores so toys as rewards etc dont work

Anabellesmumanddad Thu 11-Nov-10 09:16:16

Our DD was doing the same thing. annoying but not the end of the world. She says she 'likes' it? wtf?

bumbly Thu 11-Nov-10 09:20:19

Snowtiger Thu 11-Nov-10 09:28:25

Oooh I have good news to share with you ladies! My 3 year old DS was doing this too, for months and months, and it was driving me insane, I was worrying he'd never poo in a toilet and would be in pull ups til he was 7 or something.

On the advice of a child psychologist we took all pressure off, but the big change was that when he did a poo in his pull ups we'd take it to the loo and tip the poo in "because that's where poo goes, isn't it?", so it did a big 'plop' into the water (talked about how funny it was, etc) and then waved 'bye bye poo' and let him flush it away.

We also talked about what poo is - i.e. the remains of food he's eaten that his body doesn't need, so we'd talk about him having a spaghetti poo, or an ice cream poo or whatever, this seemed to help him be less poo-phobic. Also talked about 'when you're a bit bigger you'll poo on the toilet' and didn't make a big deal out of when that woudl be, just let him know it would happen, when he was ready. Also made sure he ate loads of fruit and drank plenty of water / juice and used lactulose every other day or so, to ensure poos were soft, so it didn't hurt to go.

Literally a week later, he suddenly decided to go and do a poo on the toilet, all on his own!! I've never been so utterly gobsmacked in my life!! Sometimes they just have to be ready to do it. He's done it 3 or 4 times since, and is chuffed to bits with himself.

Keep telling your DC gently and encouragingly that whenver they're ready to do it, that's fine, and make sure they're happy about what poo is and where it goes.

I know it seems like it'll never get better, and I really was seriously worried that my DS would never sit on a toilet let alone poo on one, but lo and behold, eventually when they're confident they can do it, and that it's not scary, they will.

1percentawake Thu 11-Nov-10 14:24:23

Thanks Snowtiger - gives me hope!

I have a 3.5 yr old poo refuser too. Always waits until she has a nappy on at night and often goes in her sleep. Am worried because she gets terrible cramps from keeping it in when she needs to go during the day.

Even saying she can have the dolly she desperately wants isn't persuading her to go in the potty. She was late to potty train with wees but was absolutely fine once she took to it.

Am confused

Snowtiger Fri 12-Nov-10 10:30:43

1percent my DS was exactly the same - only went in his pull ups at night and often when asleep, and had cramps / stomach pains so bad we had to take him to A&E one time as he was screaming so much. I promise there is hope!!

One thing I did that helped my DS physically was to 'spike' his drinks with a small amount of laxative such as syrup of figs in his ribena or lactulose in his cup of milk at night - this just makes sure the poo is soft and it doesn't hurt to go, as the experience of having been constipated / a painful poo is usually why they with-hold / refuse to poo apparently. Sometimes it can take months of having physically easy (i.e. non-painful) poos before they'll consider doing them consciously, let alone on a toilet, so make sure she's not constipated or having trouble going. I also make a sort of jam out of stewed rhubarb (with lots of sugar & honey) & he has it on his ice cream as a 'treat'!! And lots of smoothies too, to keep things moving.

Once you're sure your DD isn't having trouble going physically, you can tackle the psychological side of it. I really found that explaining to my DS what poo is, and talking about each day's poo in relation to what he'd eaten, really helped, but the thing that I think tipped it was putting his poo from his pull ups into the toilet and letting him flush it away 'to join its friends and become compost' (he'd been watching a Peppa Pig about compost!!).

You will find a way through - don't despair smile

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