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Anyone want to join a support thread for parents of kids with bowel training issues?

(135 Posts)
zapostrophe Tue 13-Jul-10 21:10:41

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zapostrophe Wed 14-Jul-10 22:24:46

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pigletmania Wed 14-Jul-10 23:14:40

I know the feeling my dd 3.4 is just the same, been dry for about 2 months now, but poos well straight in the pants. I did the same things, ignoring and just jollying along, telling her its dirty and she will stink at nursery, back to now telling her 'poo in the potty not the pants' and hoping that one day soon she will realise. I will just be relaxed about it, would rather her poo in her pants than withhold it tbh.

Octobrrr Thu 15-Jul-10 14:28:06

My DS (almost 4) still has huge poo issues. He was doing well for a while, remembering to sit on the toilet, pushing/squeezing and even cheering each time he managed a poo, but now we're lucky if he'll poo once a week. My GP gave me Lactulose for him, which he takes twice a day, but he still holds his poo in until he physically can't anymore, resulting in a very sore tummy, crying and the kind of poo that takes three flushes and a bucket of water to get rid of!

I'm at the end of my tether with it, I've no idea what to do. We've tried rewards, star charts, treats at weekend, even chocolate buttons everytime he does a poo on the toilet but to no avail. Thing is, I know if I was to put him in pull-ups he'd poo straight away, he just refuses to push on the toilet.

SadMarg Thu 15-Jul-10 15:24:00

Hi, can I join please??!!!

SadMarg Thu 15-Jul-10 15:33:45

Oops, did mean to post more...!!

My poor DS1 has had issues with potty training for a year now. We have finally got the wee sorted out, but the poo hasn't been sorted at all, and I'm really despairing.

He would go up to 3 times a fortnight (maybe go every 5th or 6th day....), so they were huge and must have been really uncomfortable for him. In between we'd get small smears for a few days until his next poo.

I've taken him to the gp and he was diagnosed with chronic constipation and gave him lactulose, which didn't help. We are now on Movicol, one sachet didn't seem to help, but perhaps we didn't give it long enough (although I contacted the GP when she told me to, so the timing was set by her). We moved to 2 sachets last Friday and since Sunday he has been doing the most awful smeary poos in his pants throughout the day. Yesterday we went back to 1 sachet, and have an appointment with the GP tomorrow and she wants to refer my DS1 to a paediatrician.

I'm just not sure what to do!!!! I have a bag full of 'treats' for when he does a poo in the potty, any size poo at all. But he can sit on the potty for about 15 - 20 minutes (reading, singing, playing with a toy so usually not unhappy), not do anything, put his pants and trousers back on and in the next 5 minutes he will do a smeary poo in his pants!

But he just doesn't want to try to sit on the potty anymore for poos. He just wants to get the wee over and done with and then get off and it's a real battle to get him on, but once on he is usually ok. I've even resorted to giving him stickers for when he sits on the potty happily whether there's any success or not, just to get him ON.

zapostrophe Thu 15-Jul-10 16:28:58

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Octobrrr Thu 15-Jul-10 17:41:54

I've gone through five pairs of pants with DS today and still no proper poo. He's doing yucky wet smears and occasional drips of runny poo in the toilet (which he gets lots of praise for) but nothing solid at all. He's very dozy and irritable and what's worse is I can feel myself losing my patience which is never good. I know I'm going to end up taking him back to the GP in the hope he can help. The issue is DS starts pre-school at the end of August and the school explicitly state that all children must be fully toilet trained/able to go alone. I don't know what to do - I can't even imagine DS will be able to poo by then, nevermind wipe himself clean and sort himself out alone.

pigletmania Thu 15-Jul-10 19:15:57

Oh my goodness Octobrrr what sort of pre school is that! Sounds awful, they are only little and are still learning fgs, some children still have issues with it when they start school, its not school. I am lucky with my dd 3.4 pre school that she goes to, is fantastic and staff are so supportive, at each stage of potty training, from not being ready and still in nappies, to fully trained. And they are attached to the local primary school too.

bumbums Thu 15-Jul-10 19:41:04

My DS (3.2yrs) has ben doing fairly well with pt. We sort of accidentally started the day after his 3rd b,day. This week he's been great with wees. Finally instigating it himself. For Poos there is some times a smear in pants before I get him to sit on potty or toilet long enough to poo. On good days there are no smears and he goes on potty after lunch and does the poo.
Today however, I picked him up from pre-school at 12 with poo in his pants. He then pood his pants about 6 times and when bare poo escaped in tiny quantities several times.
I got less and less patient as day wore on. And ultimately got really cross by the end.
At bath time he told DH: Sorry Daddy, I'm not a big boy.
I can't work out whether he was letting the poo out accidentally or not. I can't understand why he'd do it willfully.
Resolving to be more matter of fact tommorrow.

zapostrophe Thu 15-Jul-10 19:59:12

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bumbums Thu 15-Jul-10 20:10:55

Boys also seem to have a hard time breaking away from play to go for a poo. It seems to be a much bigger deal to them.
What to do though?

Octobrrr Thu 15-Jul-10 20:35:02

Zapostrophe - that's exactly what's happening, the solid poo is all built up somewhere inside and the liquidy stuff is leaking around it and coming out. It's such a shame because I know he's scared and doesn't mean to do it, but it is frustrating... I wish I had more patience! He's in bed now with some pull-ups on, I'm going to check him later tonight to see if he's pooed or if he's still holding it in. It's been a whole week since his last poo (a huge horrible thing, lots of crying, three flushes and a bucket of water job) so I'm a bit nervous about what he'll pass...

SadMarg Thu 15-Jul-10 23:05:28

Octobrrr - with a laxative there shouldn't be any more 'solid' poo left in there. That is what was happening with my DS, he would have tiny leaks for about 2 days before he would do his proper poo, but the laxative is supposed to empty it all out. The problem is that the bowel remains large because they have held it in for so long, and both the child and the bowel need retraining.

I was warned by the GP that this would be something that would take months. But it is soooo runny. I don't know whether he can feel it coming out or not!!! Hopefully will have some more answers tomorrow.

pigletmania Thu 15-Jul-10 23:12:55

My goodness I am thankful for dd pooing but in her pants, it does not matter, would rather she did that then hold it in. Octobrr try lots of water, prunes, apricots, sugared water and flush it down. Or if all else fails a suppositary. I was very constipated after I had dd, plus I was cut down below which made it hard to poo, the Dr prescribed a suppositary, did the trick and was better evermore.

Octobrrr Fri 16-Jul-10 08:39:35

Pigletmania - I was the same after DS, I tore and had stitches and was terrfied to poo incase I tore again. blush I was given Dulco-Lax and that was brilliant, but obv can't give that to the wee man...

Overnight I put him in pull ups. He's done a bit in them, and about a golf ball sized soft lump in the toilet first thing (which he got HUGE praise for!), but there's got to be more coming. He's had 10ml of Lactulose this morning so we'll see what happens later. Keep your fingers crossed for him!

somethinganything Fri 16-Jul-10 09:27:43

Great thread – DD is a week or so into PT, getting v reliable with wees (at home at least) but no poos yet. In fact she hasn't poo'd at all for the past couple of days, which is unusual and makes me think maybe she's witholding? Have given her a couple of apricots to see if that will get things going. V helpful reading all your comments

pigletmania Fri 16-Jul-10 09:36:26

Painful isent it Octoberr aggghhhh. Thats good, mabey getting that Poo goes to pooland book to read to him might help him to let go more. And get special poo in the potty sweets, ones that he really likes, then give them to him each time in does a poo in the potty or toilet.

Octobrrr Fri 16-Jul-10 12:42:12

Finally he did it!! Took a bit of time but he felt it coming, sat down and after a little tantrum finally let it go. Phew!

I can also thoroughly recommend the Poo Goes Home To Pooland book (download and print from here - ). Have just been reading it to DS, changing the name to his and he LOVES it. Fingers crossed we're not waiting another week for his next poo!

zapostrophe Fri 16-Jul-10 13:29:08

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bumbums Fri 16-Jul-10 14:21:50

After 10 or so poo accidents yesterday, (how so much could come out of one 3yr old I don't know!) He had a big poo in potty this morning before going out. Phew! He was so pleased with himself.
He loves Toy Story at the moment and pretending to be Buzz Lightyear. My DH got him a Buzz Lightyear t-shirt yesterday and I find that calling him Buzz and saying that Buzz must try for a tinkey or poo seems effective. Not using his name or accusing 'you' or his name makes it seem some how less pressurised. Can't really explain properly.

zapostrophe Mon 19-Jul-10 20:14:48

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Octobrrr Tue 20-Jul-10 17:20:58

We've had a terrible day, after a brilliant weekend. DS was pooing in the toilet a little bit each day and was so proud of himself, DP was off work yesterday and we had another brilliant day of no poo in pants and a bit in the toilet... but today's been terrible. DS has been messing his pants constantly and this afternoon it went from inside his pants and all down his legs/over the bowl of the toilet (he'd pulled down his pants to sit on the toilet and wiped the poo everywhere.

Like a really brilliant mum, I completely lost my temper and have probably put him back weeks. I'm so angry at myself for being so impatient and easily annoyed - it's not like he means it, but if I keep getting angry with him then he'll just associate Mummy being angry with the bathroom and he'll never go. My poor little boy.

bumbums Tue 20-Jul-10 20:09:38

Hey Octobrr don't beat yourself up. You're only human!

I too have spent the day with DS pooing his pants every hour. He's totally regressed. I'm wondering how much is down to fatigue. He's been very tired the last few weeks of term and his g.parents looked after him and DD for 2 nights at weekend so he's extra tired. I don't bloody know. sad

diet2morro Tue 20-Jul-10 22:39:45

This poo issue is so stressful, My little boy will be 3 soon and has been dry since he was 2 but will only poo in nappy and in standing up position.I have tried poo goes to pooland book all sorts of toilet seats and pottys reward charts and bribery but the fear of going is too great. On friday I told him there were no more nappies and he seemed fine but just kept it in all day and then did it when I put his nighttime nappy on!! I have spent last few days coaxing him then today I tried lining the potty with a nappy and eventually I cut a hole out of nappy without him knowing and we stayed near toilet and when he began to push I popped him on the toilet. He did this twice and got huge praise and a reward but then informed me he didn't want to do it again. I have a sore throat with the stress of it all and am running out of ideas. He is on movicol so poo is soft but the memory of constipation from baby days seems to worry him.

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