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Postnatal Depression fobbed of by doctor??

(9 Posts)
Banwell32 Thu 05-Dec-19 15:13:10

I have a 7mo dd I’ve been feeling down for a while but have been to embarrassed to do anything about it. This week it’s come to a head it’s affecting my relationship I’m moody snappy don’t ever feel like doing anything. My anxiety is very high and I don’t like going out by myself anymore ( I will if I have to) I told the doctor some days I get up and don’t feel like I can even get through the day and my mood is very up and down Anyway doctor just asked me what I wanted her to do about it? No questions to fill in nothing? I’ve been having thoughts about killing myself I don’t think I actually would though I didn’t manage to even tell her this as it took a lot for me to go there in the first place for her just to tell me there is nothing wrong with me when I know there is! I just feel stupid she’s put all the down to me being tired. Shall I book another appointment with a different doctor or just see how I go ?

StickyToffeeTart Thu 05-Dec-19 16:31:10

Can you self refer to a mental health support? In our area the gps won't refer you angry they just tell you to self refer on an nhs website

SundayMorningSun Thu 05-Dec-19 16:39:48

Please go back, OP (to a different GP if you want).

There's been this odd thing lately where doctors have been recommended to say "what do you want me to do about it" - what they mean is something like "what are you wanting to get out of this appointment" or "do you have a preferred course of action in mind" (e.g. reassurance, referral to mental health services, prescription for antidepressants...). But it can so dismissive when you're in a difficult place.

You are doing a great job. Well done for seeking help, and I'm sorry the GP wasn't more help the first time round.

Banwell32 Thu 05-Dec-19 18:43:09

Thank you for the replies I just felt silly tbh I didn’t know what I needed which is why I was there in the first place so I was confused when she asked and just said I don’t know I will deffo go back and ask for a different doctor thank you

SundayMorningSun Thu 05-Dec-19 19:13:21

It's so hard when you're depressed - don't feel silly at all.

One thing I found useful was to write a few things down, so I could refer to it (or even hand it to the GP to read if you want). It can be easier to write a list of symptoms than voice them out loud, for me anyway.

StickyToffeeTart Fri 06-Dec-19 17:17:16

Maybe you can ask the next doctor what the options in your area are? For example, they might be able refer you to a talking based therapy, they might suggest antidepressants or anti anxiety medication, they might be able to point you towards mother and baby groups for people with pnd, or they might be able to refer you to home start or similar - maybe none of these options bump out at you, or maybe you can try a few in combination. Just talking over options could be a good start for you.

StickyToffeeTart Fri 06-Dec-19 17:18:52

Also I think it's daft when they ask you what you want - part of depression is that it really squashes your capacity to make decisions, even if you were an expert in mental health you might not know what do for yourself!

Bouncer4me Fri 06-Dec-19 20:52:48

I went to see my doctor today because of pnd and he said the same thing to me but then said do you want to try anti depressants. So I don’t think the doctor you saw should have stopped there and should have offered you a lot more support!!!
I understand that feeling of not wanting to be here anymore and I’m hoping that you get a better doctor asap so you can get support!!

Tableclothing Fri 06-Dec-19 21:08:38

doctor just asked me what I wanted her to do about it?

Aaargh. I think they've started asking this in an attempt to understand patients' wishes/make them feel empowered or something, but I hate it. Unless they're very careful with their tone it can sound flippant/dismissive/borderline aggressive. And the truthful answer would often be "I don't bloody know, do I? If I knew how to fix this, I wouldn't sodding be here. I thought you were meant to be the expert...."

The fact that the GP didn't risk assess you shows they were not exactly at the top of their game in that appointment.

I think going back and maybe seeing someone else is a very good idea. The basic treatment options are
1) meds
2) talking therapies

The doc can prescribe 1) and refer you to 2). Recovery rates are highest when people do both at the same time, but it is a very personal decision that can depend on lots of different factors.

The thing about 2) is that quite often you'll get referred to IAPT as a first-line treatment. IAPT can be great if you have relatively mild depression and/or anxiety, but it isn't always the right service for everyone. It's different in different areas but my local IAPT has no perinatal specialists, for example.

Ask the doctor what services are available that specialise in perinatal mental health, and ask to be referred to them if at all possible

It can be very difficult to talk about but do tell the doc about the dark thoughts if the second one doesn't ask. It can have quite a dramatic effect on their attitude.

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