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Child's birthday triggers birth trauma

(3 Posts)
drunkenflamingo2 Sun 03-Nov-19 12:40:41

I had a really distressing birth two years ago tomorrow, and I'm now in my kitchen trying to organise birthday stuff for my son and I can't stop crying. I find his birthdays so triggering and never want to organise anything for him.

Does anyone else get this?

sar302 Sun 03-Nov-19 13:11:18

Honestly, I don't find birthdays particularly triggering, but there are other things that I do. It's likely to be different for each person I would guess.

Have you spoken to a counsellor / psychologist about your birth trauma? I finally felt ready to get some help briefly at about 15 months pp, and it did help. Time has also helped I think. And avoiding known triggers where possible. Which probably isn't therapeutically sound hmmbut works to an extent in real life.

I'm aware you can't avoid his birthday, and there's probably not much you can do now right in the thick of it, so maybe just try and share with someone in real life how you're feeling, look after yourself, get some help for the longer term, and know you're not the only one x

Xiaohei Wed 20-Nov-19 19:48:40

I’m really sorry to hear you feel like this and I know how horrible it can be. I felt rubbish for feeling like that and then very very guilty as we eventually had a good outcome and I was ‘wasting time’ mulling over past events. But I just couldn’t move on. For me the weeks leading up to my 1st son’s birthday were just awful and just wanted the day to pass without me. Eventually, I self referred to counselling and was seen very soon as within the 1 year postnatal window. I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD. I did my counselling and therapy and while parts of it were a bit hard it was the best thing I could have done as it freed me to enjoy my son, his birthday and my life. Also it removed my guilt, none of it was my fault and I’d just had a human reaction to trauma. If you google Hub of Hope it brings up all services near you by postcode- hopefully something in there. You be kind to yourself x

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