Back to work after PND

[Anewmum2018]

Hello all,
I struggled very badly with pnd after my baby was born and didn’t bond with him for a good six months. Since then I’ve been insecure about our bond and always worrying about my feelings for him.
I recently started a new job, part time, which I thought would help me mentally, to give me more of a routine.
However I’m really struggling at the moment, and old feelings and worries about bonding with my baby are coming back. I’m scared that he doesn’t need me; that I ruined our early bonding time. And I also feel disconnected to him now that I’m seeing him less. Has anyone been in a similar position and can anyone give me any advice? I don’t want (and can’t afford) to give up work but I’m scared of undoing all the hard work I’ve done to get over pnd.

[Anewmum2018]

bump

[smoresmores]

I went through the same thing and had the same guilt but after a while it settled and going back to work part time really helped me feel myself again.

I was off the meds at this point but went to talking therapy to help ease that transition which I found very useful.

I really doubt you've ruined your bond, please try not to be so hard on yourself (although I can relate). My DD is now 2 and we have an amazing bond, those days are a distant memory.

I would really recommend talking to someone if you can, these feelings are complex. We recently got a puppy and similarities between it and those early days with PND brought back lots of feelings. It's a big change for you to get used to, so it's not surprising it's bringing back those feelings I think .