When does all of this end?

[Dramalamaa]

I’ve had severe PND and PTSD since a traumatic birth and traumatic beginning to my DDs life, and I feel like I may never get over it.
DD is now 2.5 and I’m still really emotional about everything.
I’m a shell of my former self and I feel like I’ve tried everything, one on one therapy, group therapy, medication, mindfulness courses, getting out a lot and other things.
But I still have high anxiety and depression.
I can’t sleep properly and I wake up exhausted and not wanting to get out of bed.
Sometimes I don’t want to be here, I’ve lost so many people because I’m no longer who I used to be.
I feel hopeless.
I feel trapped.
I want to run away.
I feel like I’m ruining my daughters life because I’m not good enough, why would she want a useless depressed mother who can’t get her shit together?
I do t know what I’m asking for here I’m just fed up of feeling this way and I want to lead a normal life again, but I don’t know what I can do.
I should be over it by now and I’m not, I wonder if I ever will be

[orangejuicer]

please go and talk to your gp. It sounds like you need to just talk to someone and get the support you need. You are stronger than you know.

[c24680]

Is it worth speaking to your health visitor or GP?

Do you get time to yourself at all?

My DD is 15 months old and I feel just like you do, after speaking to my health visitor I'm going to make an appointment with the GP to get some meds to help with everything.

[Upsideandundergarments]

Your daughter is very lucky to have a mother who cares enough to reach out for support. It can be awful, hard, wonderful and terrifying all at the same time.

You cannot pour from an empty cup so look after yourself. Posting on here is a great first step but please try to find someone in the real world, a friend, relative or organization. Mumsnet has some great links. Look after yourself and you'll be fantastic.