Please help me, desperate

[AngC273]

Hello,
My baby is a week old and I am really struggling with what I believe is PND, however it feels so extreme.
I can’t stop crying and i’m also having a few panic attacks each day.
I just want to run away! I feel suffocated and so so tired! I’m also recovering from a c section so am still uncomfortable and can’t do much. My partner is amazing and is taking care of me and I do have a good support network but I feel so alone!
I’m having really negative thoughts also such as my baby is going to die or I am going to die.
I just wish someone would admit me to hospital where I can be taken care of so I don't have to think or do anything!
Does anyone have any advice please? I don’t know which way to turn. I feel so desperate!

[KMoKMo]

I don’t have any real advice but didn’t want to read and run.
I hope someone who has been through it can help a bit more.
I felt very down after my first. It’s a huge shock to the system.
Can you see your GP as soon as possible? Make an appointment tomorrow and say it’s an emergency.
Look after yourself

[SnuggyBuggy]

See your GP and remember this situation can and will get better

[peachgreen]

Please speak to your midwife or HV OP. They've seen PND so many times before and they will be able to get you the help you need. I promise you won't always feel this way. Just be honest with them.

[7Worfs]

I felt exactly like you in the first weeks, for me it got better after 6 weeks. It’s still very overwhelming and hard, but it gets better.

Speak to your GP or HV as soon as possible, and take care of yourself.

[AngC273]

Thank you all for replying. I am going to call my GP tomorrow and ask for an emergency appointment. My partner will also come with me as I know I will break down and be unable to express myself fully.
I am due to see midwife on Tuesday too so will talk to her.
I've felt better in the last half hour so have been able to process my thoughts a bit more logically.

[xJune88]

Go seek help but this was me in the first weeks. I'm now 13 weeks post partum and finally feel me again been a new mum is bloody hard. You are doing amazing it will get better xx

[topology444]

This happened to me too in the first week. I spoke to an experienced mother and she gave the advice to follow ones instincts (and one will find a midwife that supports this). Giving birth is really overwhelming, I was sleep deprived and the hormones are all over the place. I started crying when the midwife visited and they organised extra visits to check on me. If you prefer to see the midwife to your GP you can also call the midwifes and they will organise an extra visit. You are doing fine, your child must have put on weight otherwise you would be back in hospital, get some rest and trust yourself. Good luck and congratulations!

[peachgreen]

Just be really honest OP, they've heard it all before. I said the most awful things about my DD and nobody took her away or anything.

[AngC273]

Thanks for all of your replies. I saw the doctor yesterday and just sobbed and sobbed.
Due to my history of anxiety, she has prescribed me sertraline and wants to see me in 2 weeks to check my progress.
She told me not to be too hard on myself and the amount of woman she sees in her surgery which the exact same feelings as me.
She also told me to look at my day in chunks of time rather than worry about the night ahead or the next day.
I feel quite calm at the moment.
My mum is coming to stay with us for a couple of days. She can take some of the pressure of, if I need to sleep or cry x

[Isadora2007]

I’m glad you’ve got some support and some
Medication. I’m also glad you are also feeling a little better- maybe just being honest about how you are feeling has helped you by opening up. That’s great and never feel like you are wrong for how you feel- having a baby is such an enormous physical and emotional trauma in so many ways that it’s a really normal thing to feel overwhelmed and sad etc.

[Lauralau10]

Just wanted to say, I have a 10 day old baby and literally could have written this myself!
How are you feeling now? I hope the meds are helping as is getting a bit of a break

[RedCowboyBoots]

It's a great idea to have your mum or other half look after the baby for a bit so you can sleep. Sleep makes everything better. If you're breastfeeding, have them bring the baby to you when hungry.

Well done for getting help.

[AngC273]

So I've had a bad few days. I walked out of the house. I only got as far as the bus stop and my partner came to find me.
We went straight back to the doctor who referred me to the mental health crisis team. They have been out to see me and are arranging a care plan.
I'm going back to the doctors next week to increase my medication dose.
Today has been a better day. I actually cared for my daughter all day and haven't run away from her crying.
I'm hoping I've caught it early enough to treat it. I'm just trying to take each hour & day as it comes.
I'm lucky as my partner still has 3 weeks off of work. He is then only working for 2 days with another 8 days off!
I'm determined to beat this!!!!

[RedCowboyBoots]

Take each day as it comes. You're doing so well x

[RedCowboyBoots]

Wrong thread, so sorry! Second time today, no idea how it's happening! Never done it before.

[peachgreen]

Well done OP. Sometimes you have to hit crisis point to get the help you need. The only way is up from here, you're doing so well. I promise things will be better.

[HollowTalk]

You poor thing. That sounds really tough. I'm so glad you have a great partner and medical team. You will start to feel better soon - hold tight and try to get plenty of sleep.

[TweakMyHouse]

I promise you it gets better than this. Keep reaching out for help, be it family/friends/GP/crisis team/posting here.
Things will get better and will get easier

[happytobemrsg]

I had PND with my first for a year because I didn’t get treatment - you have absolutely done the best thing seeking help. I promise you, it gets better. Even if you didn’t have crazy hormones to deal with as well as recovery from a C-S, a demanding newborn & all the monotony that goes with it is so so hard. Grab all the help that is offered to you & KEEP TALKING - don’t pretend you’re ok when you’re not & you will get the right support

[AngC273]

Thanks so much for the support everyone xxx

[happytobemrsg]

How are you feeling OP? I hope things are getting easier for you. I’m 7 days post partum & just getting stuck into that newborn phase myself.

[AngC273]

Feeling a bit better. Doctor has put me on 100mg of Sertraline now.
I don't feel panicked as I did.
I'm still feeling low and nowhere near my old self. I know It's going to be a long road but I'm determined to beat this with the right support.

[DerbyshireGirly]

You can do it OP.

[ShrimpingViolet]

for you OP. You're doing brilliantly and you've been so brave to tackle this head on. One day at a time. I promise things get easier and less "all-consuming".