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Too emotional and worried about my MH!

(6 Posts)
bellainthemiddle Thu 18-Jul-19 13:55:34

This is really pathetic, but I just feel like I'm falling to pieces and I am really worried that I am not coping and that my MH is going to get worse and worse.

DD (our first) is 6 and a half weeks. She arrived early (34 weeks), but is doing brilliantly. I have been loving being a mum and, having a few close friends who have also had their first DC over the last year, I've been able to benefit from all their advice. So, despite the early arrival and it all being a bit stressful in the first instance, everything was going really well.

... until 3 weeks ago, when I started feeling really unwell. This wasn't totally unexpected, since I was waiting for a rheumatology appt to investigate some blood tests, but to cut a long story short, I ended up in hospital with kidney inflammation, which was later diagnosed as being caused by Lupus.

I think I'm just struggling with becoming a mum / feeling not great / being diagnosed with a "lifelong" condition (even though it's fortunately a very manageable one, from what I understand). I should feel grateful that I have a healthy daughter and amazing support from family and friends, but I just feel guilty and when I'm by myself, I constantly feel tearful and overwhelmed. I feel like I can't let anyone know how "wobbly" I feel and yesterday ended up having a bit of a meltdown when I saw the nurse with DD (all a bit overdramatic, lots of crying and "just can't cope" etc.!).

I just feel ... overwhelmed, I guess. And I'm afraid that my MH is going to get worse and that it's going to start impacting on everything and everyone else.

Abigwhale Thu 18-Jul-19 13:59:12

Oh bless you. That’s a lot to cope with, no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Please talk to someone (your gp or health visitor). It might just be a passing phase but there is lots of help available if you need it. There is no shame in asking for extra support and it doesn’t make you any less of a brilliant mum.

bellainthemiddle Thu 18-Jul-19 15:07:45

Thank you for the response - I know that what you suggest is sensible, but I'm feeling awkward about going to my GP. The last time I went was when I started to feel unwell and the GP I saw implied that it was all due to anxiety (I guess he turned out to be incorrect about that!). Maybe the HV is a better bet... although I am supposed to make an appointment with the GP anyway to follow up on the SLE diagnosis... So I guess I will have to get on with it at some point!!

Abigwhale Thu 18-Jul-19 16:13:05

Is there an option to make an appointment with a different GP?

bellainthemiddle Thu 18-Jul-19 17:42:26

My usual (really nice!) GP is on annual leave, so I might just wait till she's back. The problem is that she's really nice and really clued up, so her appointments disappear very quickly!!

Abigwhale Thu 18-Jul-19 22:33:36

Be persistent in asking for help and be kind to yourself. Having a baby is hard work (my 3rd is 3 weeks old). You’re doing great, and how you feel right now won’t last forever.

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