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PND in the early days...

(5 Posts)
Ang888 Thu 13-Jun-19 10:41:01

I've recently had my second child, a lovely 3wk old dd and beautiful sister for ds who is 14 months old.

So far I've found it all quite overwhelming.
We moved house when baby was a few days old.
I didn't sleep the night before nor the night of the birth and have had limited sleep since.
To sleep when baby sleeps is a wonderful dream with a toddler as well!

About a week in pnd hit.
I've had depression on and off for years. I'm booked to see the perinatal team and my gp restarted my sertraline which I came off during pregnancy.
The trouble is they make you worse before you see any benefit.
The anxiety has been crippling.
We're not leaving the house.
I'm in tears most days fighting thoughts of not being able to cope, not wanting to be here and wanting someone to take my babies away (which of course I don't truly mean!)
We went out a couple of times in the first week but baby just screamed the whole time. - I'm wondering if that's contributed to my anxiety about going out.
Plus it takes hours to prepare to get out.
We bf until last weekend then switched to formula because my mental health just couldn't cope with the demand and I felt so guilty like I was neglecting ds always stuck with a baby on the breast.
I know it was the right choice for us, but I still feel guilty and sad for stopping.

Mornings and evenings have been the worst, waking with an empty abyss type feeling in the pit of my stomach and dreading and feeling scared of the day ahead or potential lack of sleep at night.

Before my daughter was born I was happy, out going, friendly and went to baby groups every day.
Now the world seems to worry me and I can't face life.
I can get so stressed and upset when the children cry sometimes. I've been feeling truly awful.
I pray my meds begin to help soon.

Thank you for reading, I just really needed to chat and offload a bit.
Hoping to find someone else who can relate and perhaps we can support each other?
My partner is trying his best and is doing fab, but he would struggle to understand some of the thoughts I have had.
My dream was to be a sahm. I'm living my dream - but pnd is ruining it sad

slapmyarseandcallmemary Fri 14-Jun-19 07:40:54

I'm feeling much the same. Have a 2yr old DS and a 3 week old DD. I'm feeling low, empty, anxious and keep crying. My partner called health visitor the other day and she had been lovely, although I have been somewhat palmed off by the GP. I too have had previous mental health issues, but haven't been medicated for some time, so this has kind of crept up on me. I feel horrible and guilty. My partner goes back to work next week, long shifts and I'm a bit worried. Hope you start to feel better soon x

Ang888 Fri 14-Jun-19 08:41:48

I'd push your gp. Tell them you want to be referred to perinatal or talk to your midwife/HV about it.
Go grab the help and support to get better my lovely xxxx

slapmyarseandcallmemary Fri 14-Jun-19 09:58:18

Aw, thank you. The health visitor is fairly new to me, but she came out and stayed over an hour, which was lovely. She did mention she could get the perinatal team involved if I wanted to. The GP more or less told me that this is how every mum feels. I didn't feel this way after i had my DS, so i know that's not true. It all just adds to the mum guilt we already have, doesn't it? Anyway, I hope today is a good day for you x

mamaandthegirls Mon 01-Jul-19 00:19:34

Hi OP, I am currently in your shoes - but different age gap to you, mine are nearly 3 years old and 9 months. I feel the same way as you and let me tell you, I often have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to run away and just leave my DD’s. I am currently under the care of the perinatal MHT, wondering if this is something you can request from your GP? As it does sound like you’re having a tough time. The perinatal MHT can support you up until your baby turns 1. Not sure, if it is different in your area but maybe different to mine.
Great news your partner is supporting you the best he can, have you got any other support? You may even benefit from a charity called homestart OP. They’re a great service and all free as well. A volunteer comes to your home once a week or once a fourtnight (whatever you choose) and can help support you and can play with the children while you relax. Just a thought, really hope you feel yourself again soon. X

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