How long does post natel depression. Last for if undiagnosed.

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

Hi
I know this my sound awful and I don't mean it to be I love my daughter so much. But when she was born I had. C section and I was so looking forward to meeting her I couldn't wait even during the section then when they brought her to me after she was born. I just looked at her and told my partner she wasn't mine. He told me I was being silly Nd shrugged it off so I did to. Anyway I went on being her mum pushing everythoight to the bVk of my head that I couldn't do this job of being. Mum. Then so thing very traumatic happened when she was 3 weeks old as I discovered somthing Bout my partner that would cause both me Nd my daughter pain for the next 18 years. ( I won't go into it) but I even though I love my daughter. I don't feel we have the bond we should have and we havnt really had that at all. I know it sounds awful and I hate myself for it. BecUse I do love her with all my heart but I can't help feeling that she would be better off with out me becUse I cNt seem to give her what she needs as all I do is work during the week and in the weekends I can't do much with her becUse I don't have enough money to take her anywhere nice plus I always find myself shouting at her I mean her behaviour Hs been terrible and theirs.possibility she may be autistic but I feel awful and I don't know weather I had post natel depression Nd it was never caught and I don't know weather it cN stay for this long.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I think if it's undiagnosed it can last a very long time OP.

Are you still with your partner? Do they know how you feel? Have you told your GP?

How old is your DD?

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

Am. No longer with my partner and that was traumatic not long after having put daughter Nd she's 4 and they just thi k it's depression but nothing to do with having my daughter as I have been through alot since as well x

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

You sound like you've been through so much. Have you been offered any counselling? I think it might help you get over the trauma

Don't worry if you don't have money t spend on her, children don't usually remember the money you spend. Could you do some things like baking together or watch a film she likes?

Do you have any support from friends or family FREYAS?

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

I went to counceling but rather tha. Let me talk they were giving me ho. Ewprk like right this down and that they never actually let me talk so I didn't feel comfortable going anymore becUse it wasn't helping.we watch movies all the time together but she dosnt settle to wzt b a full film theirs quary she may be autistic so trying to find thi gs for her to stay focused is difficult xc

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

It sounds like the counselling you went for didn't suit you. It's absolutely fine to go back to the GP and say that you are struggling but the last lot of counselling didn't work, can they refer you to a different counsellor.

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

Thank you I will try that. I
Av been pushing this to the back of my. Mind for so long becUse I felt like I had to. I feel so terrible for feeli g this way. But I know I need to fix it somhow. I feel like such a bad mum for not bi donf with my daughter or havi g that connection like we should.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Don't feel guilty. Easier said than done I know but you are ill. You didn't choose to feel like this but you can do things to change it

Talk to apni. The helpline is staffed by women who've had post-natal illness and can help you. They might even be able to suggest ways to bond with your DD

[FREYASMUMMY2015]

Thank you I will try that. Xx

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Let us know how you get on [thinks]

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

That should be