Anyone else had a third degree tear?

[PirateWeasel]

How long did it take you to recover fully? Did you ever have pain free sex again? Did you go on to have another baby and not have a bad tear again?

[Lottt]

Hi, I had a third degree tear in January and it felt like it was never going to stop hurting/ heal at the time. It took about two and a half months for me to feel like it properly healed but it's back to normal now.
Sex hurt but now it's absolutely fine. Maybe the first ten-twelve times were painful.
Sorry I can't help with the second child but I am pregnant so would be interested to know too.

[Childrenofthesun]

I had a 3b, stitched up in theatre. It healed really well in a couple of months. How long ago did you give birth? Make sure you've had it checked for infection. The only problem I had was severely weakened pelvic floor so I had to do a lot of exercises to strengthen it. This would be particularly important if you plan further pregnancies.

I didn't have sex for months afterwards but didn't have any pain. It was my second and final birth so I can't help with the question about second babies but I know a couple of others who've had 3rd degree tears who both said that they didn't have such bad tears with subsequent births.

[firsttimebabybirther]

I had a third degree tear in March , maybe about 2 maybe 2 and a half months until I felt a bit more like myself. When you can I would definitely recommend pelvic floor exercises, I had a catheter for a couple of weeks after birth and wish I had started sooner.

Normal sex maybe 6 months later ? Although according to my doctor that's quite early and women don't realise how long before you completely heal , which was reassuring for me.

[Jessicabrassica]

3b tear with dc1. Stitched in theatre under episiotomy. Can't remember when we had sex again but I don't remember it being an issue or being sore. Dc2 resulted in an episiotomy ond a small tear (stitched under local in delivery room). Pelvic floor still a bit stuffed. Trampolines and skipping are a bit messy.

[Believeitornot]

Yes but I was doing my pelvic floor exercises the day after ds was born.

Took me months to feel vaguely normal and not sure the doctor Smith me back properly.

I had a 2nd degree tear second time. That healed much quicker.

[OnceInABlueMoon9]

I had a 3rd degree tear 6 years ago. Healed well after about 6 weeks so that I was in no pain or discomfort day to day but about 4 months to be able to have sex and it hurt. It hurt less and less upto about a year. Mainly just on entry after the first couple of months so much better than the whole time! I think it was the scar tissue. Everyone is different and I had no pain at all after about 12-18 months.

[PirateWeasel]

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling better about everything now hearing your experiences. I'm only 3 months postpartum so perhaps I'm expecting a bit much too soon. Sounds like I need to give myself a break and give my body a bit longer to heal. No one ever tells you about the recovery post birth! It's all been a bit of a shock!

[Lottt]

Forgot to say that although sex is fine now (11 months later) it took over six months for it to be pain free! Just thought I'd mention it to help put your mind at rest. I remember thinking nobody ever tells you how awful the recovery can be. It does get better even if it doesn't seem like it will!

[PirateWeasel]

Thanks Lottt, that's reassuring. Sex is really painful right now and I've been dreading feeling like this forever. DH is being amazing about it, but I feel bad for him as well as for myself. Good to know it should get easier in time without having to go back to the doctor's!

[Lottt]

I felt like I could feel the stitches for about four months afterwards but it did get better! I just remember feeling like it was never going to stop hurting but it did! Hopefully it won't be too much longer for you.

[fessmess]

I took months to heal properly, the scar tissue made sex painful to start with. I remember crying with relief after my first orgasm afterwards, it took over six months to be able to relax enough. I also couldn't hold my wind if I needed to 🤭. Had a 2nd degree tear second time and then a midwife congratulated me on my bravery for not opting for a caesarean. I didn't know I had had a choice!

[Haworthia]

It took a long time for sex not to be painful. It was a long time before I felt able to try as well - about six months. For me, I think a long period of abstinence causes everything to shrink a bit, like being a born again virgin

One option via the NHS was dilators, but I decided to find a modestly sized sex toy and try to get used to it in my own time with lots of lube. I found it took the pressure off, rather than trying to have sex and it all being so painful and disappointing.

Insisted on an elective section for baby #2 which was a great experience and saved me from any more vaginal trauma

[fessmess]

mose I was told I had a 4th degree tear, can you tell me the difference please?

[fessmess]

Don't worry just googled it. That explains a lot! It was 4th and I was not offered a c section next time🙀

[Bees1]

I had a 4th degree tear 2 years ago. First time we DTD I burst into tears for no other reason than being utterly terrified! I would say I had some moderate discomfort gradually getting better, in certain positions for about 8months post partum since then and now 2years down the line it’s completely normal.

[Bees1]

Ps. Currently pregnant with no 2 and having an elective section as per the advice of the obstetrician who put me back together after no1 and the colorectal surgeon I saw 3months post partum. Apparently in my case the chances of tearing again along the scar are high and I would then risk permanent incontenence and potential need for colostomy etc.

[timeisnotaline]

Took months to feel reasonable, I remember my first slow jog was about 12 weeks. Sex was a different story , about 8-9 months? And I had to use dilators for a couple of months to make it possible, might have been stitched up a bit too tightly? Also scar tissue though so more likely just how it heals. My 2nd is 6m now and had a 2nd degree tear, didn’t really have any issues with it st all (except the pelvic floor - do your exercises!!)

[Anna2006]

@PiratteWeasel I had a 3b tear 10 months ago. Along with an episiotomy due to forceps. The aftermath was just bloody awful! And I never expected this recovery!

Probabaly took me 3 months to be in less pain with it. I also had an issue with my hip and SPD so that didn’t help. And a general heaviness and ache of that area. Maybe from all the bruising. Although physically the stitches healed in 5 weeks. Well the external ones. I was told the internal stitches in the anal sphincter can take upto 3 months to properly heal.

Then more like 6/7 months when I says I felt more “normal”. New normal i guess I should say. Not sure it can ever be the same after that.

Unfortunately lots of issues with sex for me. Tried at 9 weeks pp. it was agony. But persisted and kept trying and also saw a women’s health physio. Turns out I’d obtained a hypertonic pelvic floor where my muscle were tensing from all the pain id been in. She worked with me on it an all in all it’s much better. So mine was directly related to the tear but all the pain had caused me another issue which made sex hurt so bear that in mine.

10 months out and sex mostly is fine, can orgasm if I’m relaxed enough. Occasionally it’s still can be a tad uncomfy to begin with. But that’s not all the time. An I think as time goes on that will improve.

As for second baby...ELCS all the way for me I think. My bits can’t take any more trauma.