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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Postnatal health

Pnd again

6 replies

Strugglingonagain · 15/12/2018 00:47

2nd baby is 12days old.
All the feelings from pnd first time round are back, with added guilt about any effect it might have on DD1 (nearly 5).

DH knows I am struggling. He doesn't know the details.. Midwife said see the Dr, who said we will just monitor and I didn't seem that bad. Health visitor today knew all my history already and seemed concerned.

I feel like a failure. Why can't I just manage this mothering thing without struggling?

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Strugglingonagain · 15/12/2018 10:35

Bump..

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rebelrosie12 · 15/12/2018 11:12

Are there any charities or services in your area that you could get referred to? It's so bad but very common to get fobbed off by gps etc. I think sometimes you need to be pretty firm but that's never easy, especially feeling how you do
You're not alone. The official stats are 1 in 10 mothers get pnd but in reality it's probably wayy higher as people don t talk about it. Well done you for recognising it and reaching out for support.

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Strugglingonagain · 15/12/2018 13:44

Thanks rebelrosie. The HV mentioned a few services and things she'll refer me to which might help.

Just gutted this happened last time and seems to be getting me again

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keylovesAva · 16/12/2018 20:18

@Strugglingonagain

You are managjng! As best you can.. I just had a break down moment and had pnd with DD1 I have a history of anxiety and depression so this having children stuff triggers me A LOT.

Right now DD1 (2.5) is fighting her bed time and DD2 (3 weeks old) is stirring from her nap. I havent eaten .. the house is a tip... I'm beyond exhausted with the broken sleep. I don't really want to have visitors or any help (MIL in law is chomping at the bit) DH is a godsend and keeps telling me that we will be fine and that this time will pass and we will handle it all again soon. He doesn't really get pnd or anxiety he thinks positive thinking will just turn it all around.

I don't even miss my life before kids I think I just miss being in control of 1. Just as we had gotten our heads around this stuff we've rocked the boat again with another. Don't get me wrong I love both of my daughter's but I feel way out of my depth...

DD1 also has a cold so naturally I'm waiting for that to get round. Hoping DD2 gets a fighting chance and doesn't succumb!

When it's all said and done it will get better. It has to! X

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Strugglingonagain · 17/12/2018 09:48

@keylovesAva

Thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry you feel like this too, but it's a relief that it's not just me and everything you wrote I could have written myself! My DH is really good and on high alert for pnd from last time, but equally he s never had anxiety or depression and doesn't really get it, however hard he tries.

Today is another day, I'm really up and down, we even managed a decent amount of sleep last night but the niggling anxiety and bleakness is still there to be honest.

Hope today is an ok day for you xx

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Charlieislovely · 17/12/2018 17:37

Not much to add other than that this WILL pass just like it did the first time. I, like many others know exactly how you're feeling right now and know how terrifying those first few months are in particular. Do whatever you can to keep your head above water, if you haven't already PLEASE download headspace or something similar and every single day listen to a guided meditation. It changed my life when I felt I would never recover. Oh and get out of the house as much as you can! Lots of love to you x

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