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Hate post partum body

(41 Posts)
Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 15:20:20

Hi all, I'm now 8 months postpartum and I hate the way my body looks. I secretly sit and cry about it then feel so guilty for feeling like this as I know it's incredibly vain. I can cope with my boobs looking droopier than before after 6 months of breast feeding but my stomach used to be the part of my body I liked the best and now it is ruined. I hate how this is affecting my confidence and will myself to pull myself together! I keep seeing women who have a few marks and they think theirs are bad but I'd be pleased if I came off that lightly. I have severe stretch marks all over my abdomen from my pubic region right up to just under/on line with my belly button. I could cope if they were just marks but they are ridges and some of them are very wide and you can feel them when run hand over it's like spot the bit of normal skin as it's more stretch marks than normal skin! I know it sounds vain but I don't want my stomach as a badge of honour, my baby is the only badge of honour that I need. I feel so ugly and it's ruining my sex life and I feel for my poor DH. I haven't let him touch my stomach as you can feel the ridges and all over and it's gross and it makes me feel so unattractive i have no sex drive because of this. I'm worried my DH will get sick of me because I don't want sex and feel so disgusting. On the odd occasion we have had sex it's uncomfortable for me. I had a slight second degree tear so nothing out of the ordinary but the muscle still aches and doesn't feel the same. I knew things would
Be different after birth and that I'd get some stretch marks but nothing to this degree. Please help. How can I stop feeling so ugly?

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 19:27:54

Anybody in a similar situation please message me...thanks

GummyGoddess Fri 27-Oct-17 19:41:23

I'm sure others will tell you to get over it, but personally I sobbed for literally hours when I realised I had a stretch mark and I think I got off lightly in the end so I can't imagine how you're feeling.

Could I suggest a little bit of counselling to help with your self esteem?

Are you planning on more babies? If so I would wait until you had them and then see how you feel, and maybe consider doing something then. This is what I am planning on doing, once I've had all of them I will reassess how I feel and go from there.

chewiecat Fri 27-Oct-17 20:08:22

Are you me??

I have an 8 month old as well and I'm so sad that my tummy area is still so loose and flabby

Everywhere else has pretty much gone back to what it was pre pregnancy but my belly 😿

I really don't know what I can do, maybe I need to work more on my core or am I just doomed with this loose skin??

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:06:46

Oh I know I'm going to try get back in shape as heard stretch marks look better with a toned stomach (easier said than done.) I've been looking at my stomach again tonight and think the middle healing and may fade fully but I can't see any hope for the sides. I think I've been eating more to comfort myself which is most unlike me as I'm not usually a comfort eatwe and this has made me put on some of the weight I had lost as well. I'm going to cut out sugar and bread and try to exercise and see if this makes me feel abit better. I know Chewiecat my stomach feels so loose and if I tap it, it wobbles like a set jelly and has a whole life of it's own! It was so firm before I got pregnant. I've always been the kind of person to put any weight on legs/bum and never my stomach and now I feel my stomach is the main problem! I think it the lack of muscle strength that leaves it in such poor shape!

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:08:32


Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:12:02

Thanks GummyGoddess I'm so jealous I'd be over the moon with just one stretch mark, how lucky are you! I see the only way forward for myself as winning the lottery and getting laser treatment like the celebs....well I can dream. Despite all the flaws I would like another baby one day but only when DS out of nappies. I can't imagine how bad my stomach will looo after another if it's this bad after just one!!

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:12:18


Obsidian77 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:14:38

It's early days still, especially as you only finished breast-feeding weeks ago and you have an infant to care for.
Could you afford some sessions with a personal trainer? I would recommend finding one who has training in pre- and post-natal exercise so s/he understands the ordeal your body has been through. Focus on being healthy for your child.
You'll get there.

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:21:57

can't afford it at the moment so I guess I'll just have to develop my own routine. Anybody know of a good one?

Bella8 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:23:04

Thank you for all your very kind responses, appreciated.

GummyGoddess Fri 27-Oct-17 22:10:56

Ha, I don't have just one, I just refuse to look as I know there is at least one there. Apparently there are about 5 but I have managed not to look at my stomach in any detail so I don't know what the damage is, and I don't want to (I cannot see much without contact lens, so not an issue to just not look until I'm dressed and lens is in). I am pregnant again so not sure what will happen to them this time, or if I will get more.

Maybe after this one I will have a look once I'm back at my normal weight and see how bad it is. I have used dermarollers on a couple of old stretch marks on my legs before and they're almost invisible, so I might try that with these when I feel up to it.

Bella8 Sat 28-Oct-17 10:31:43

I know what you mean gummygoddess except I'm the opposite way. I look at my stomach every morning maybe I hopes that miraculously they've all just faded away over night with what ever oil/lotion I've applied the night before. I've heard great things about Vicks vapour rub working on stretch marks! Has anybody tried this? At the moment I'm using coconut oil. I've also heard a product called Dermelastic serum is amazing but it's expensive and I wondered if there was a cheaper alternative. I used bio oil through my pregnancy and it did nothing and made me itchy!

Bella8 Sat 28-Oct-17 10:32:04

in hopes*

BubblesPip Sat 28-Oct-17 10:43:53

I know what it’s like to have a low self esteem and I used to be really hard on myself. Instead of beating myself up about it, I try to think about the amazing thing my body created. I think of how well it’s worked, as opposed to how it looks. Maybe it’s something you could try to focus on? Maybe do some exercise to build muscle and fitness to be better at running around after your child when they’re older, and have this as your focus? So you don’t focus on the aesthetics. I know how hard this is to do, but over the last 18 months it’s nade me feel much much better about myself.

Bella8 Sat 28-Oct-17 11:56:22

Thanks yes I'm definitely going to focus on getting in shape, i fit in all my pre pregnancy clothes but feel I still need to lose afew pounds and majorly tone up! Any recommendations on stretch mark treatments?

GummyGoddess Sat 28-Oct-17 21:42:53

Dermarollers! Not very comfortable but have been quite effective for me.

RandomUsernameHere Sat 28-Oct-17 22:08:52

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. 8 months is still very soon, I had very stretched skin on my stomach after giving birth and it does improve but VERY VERY slowly. I would say that even 3.5 years later it is still improving gradually. I also know a personal trainer who said it took her 4-5 years to get back to normal. Be patient and be kind to yourself as things will get better.

Bella8 Sun 29-Oct-17 10:41:05

RandomUsernameHere thank you so much for your kind comments. It makes me feel so much better to know that even a personal trainer took 4-5 years. It also gives me hope to know that what I'm looking at today may not be the end result and it will improve gradually with time. Mind you I won't start counting until I'm finished having children as who knows what it'll look like after a second one!!

crimsonlake Sun 29-Oct-17 11:23:35

I have often wondered why some women get stretch marks and others dont? I have had 2 children and have none whatsoever, I do however have a jelly belly.

Bella8 Sun 29-Oct-17 12:05:24

Hi crimsonlake. I believe it's all down to genetics. I believe this because I ate appropriately throughout my pregnancy and only gained appropriate amount of weight, I also drank loads of water, ate a varied healthy diet and took vitamins. I also looked after my skin yet none of this mattered and I still ended up getting loads. I had none at all until 41 weeks; I was two weeks over due and had to be induced. I know they would have already been there as start long before we can see them.

Bella8 Sun 29-Oct-17 12:10:06

Also I did have a jelly belly but it's gone down a lot and seems abit firmer which I'm pleased about and I'm going to do squats with weights to try tone it up abit. I guess a jelly belly you can do something about it marks however it takes a great deal of time like a PP said. I'm trying to speed things ups by massaging the area to increase blood flow and lots of moisturiser/oils. I'm also making sure I more importantly continue to hydrate my body for the inside.

Bella8 Sun 29-Oct-17 12:10:40

from the*

OfficerGrant Sun 29-Oct-17 12:12:20

Pilates! I'm getting stronger and jelly bits are going. Feel better as stronger. Find a good class from a teacher that has good training like physio background and lots of experience. You will feel better x

SnugglySnerd Sun 29-Oct-17 12:12:56

I feel the same. I'm not overweight but after 2 c sections my stomach sticks out as much as my boobs. I can't find any flattering clothes and would have a tummy tuck if I could afford it.
Thank you for posting. I can't offer any wisdom but it's nice to feel I'm not the only one.

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