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Is this PND?(5 Posts)
This is going to be a long one, I apologise.
I am 17 and have a lovely 10 week old baby boy. My boyfriend and I are very much together and our current situation means that we are living with my parents during the week and staying with his mum (60 miles away) at the weekend. Boyfriend works and I am on a 1 year gap from A levels.
The trouble is I just feel crap. I love my little boy to pieces but I'm just so lonely. Obviously all my friends are still at college and I know no one else who has babies. During the week it is just me on my own with the little man and i barely get time to eat/ get dressed/ shower. My mums work schedule now means she works at home Mondays and Wednesdays so I at least have some company that's sole interest at the moment isnt in the night garden. Me and baby go to a sensory class every Thursday which is great and gets us out but it's only for 1 hour. I don't drive (learning to) and with this shitty weather getting out is hard and well I have no one to go out with.
I am well aware I'm lucky to have a good sleeper so we do feeds at 11, 6 and, 10. The trouble is I suffer from fibromyalgia so I am exhausted. I do all these feeds as boyfriend gets up for work at 6:45. But I am still exhausted.
It's getting to the point where I am watching the clock constantly and looking for things to fill time until someone comes home. The worst is when boyfriend gets home, I breath a sigh of relief, for him to then tell me he's got to go out and won't be back until later. It's like the whole world has just tumbled on top of you. This leaves me to do bath & bed and deal with the ones grumpy time that he likes to have in the evenings all whilst finding time to shower and eat dinner and sterilise bottles and tidy ect.
I dread waking up in the morning on the days I am alone. Sometimes I don't even feel sad I just feel numb.
I don’t know if that is pnd but you have just described how I feel too. I’m on my own all day with my ds, he’s nearly 5 weeks. He doesn’t sleep well as constipated and got colic so feeding him lots of medicine from the doctor and feel so lonely and unsure about what I’am doing. I hope it gets better as finding it all so hard. Hope you start to get some support soon. Maybe tell your mum/bf how you are feeling and get them to help you out. Just because you arnt working doesn’t mean you should do everything. Hope you feel better soon. for you.
This is definitely PND or the start of it. I went through the exact same thing. DH and I would do shifts with the baby in the early days and when it was my turn and he walked into our bedroom with the moses basket my heart just sank and I felt utter despair. Please please please talk to someone. Call Crisis. They're a mental health charity that are there when you need support. Go to your GP and get yourself on some anti depressants. I know some people will disagree with that comment but for me, if it wasn't for the medication I have no idea where I would have ended up. Sometimes you just need something to pick you up quickly before you sink any further. Please reach out for some help. Don't suffer in silence. It does not make you a bad mummy. You're doing an amazing job, particularly getting out to a local group. For the first 4 months of my son's life I stayed in doors. Keep getting out there. Give yourself small goals each day. 5 minute walk, 10 mins, trip to the swings etc. I found it easier if I'd had a shower the night before so I can just roll out the house the following morning. Stay strong
Hi. Have you asked your health visitor for local mum/baby groups that you could go to? Hopefully there may be some that are within walking distance or a short bus ride away. My baby is 4 weeks old and I havent been out with him yet except to appointments and that was with OH. I am worried that I will be too nervous to take baby out alone but having a list of local places to go to is a way of trying to build myself up to visiting one or two of them. As youare already going to a group maybe try to find one or two more so you have three days of outings. X
To me, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. Although you have a great relationship with your partner and are staying with your Mum it seems like you are getting little support from them. Please let them know how you feel. It’s hard work having a baby and doing everything yourself.
I’m not sure if you are describing PND or not. It seems like it’s reactive to the situation you are in (but that doesn’t mean that it’s not PND!) Having a baby is such a life changing thing (one of the main stressors that anyone goes through in life) and being stuck home alone doesn’t help! When I had my first son I clock watched all day until my husband came home!
Please tell someone how you feel. Please ask your Health Visitor or GP too who can assess you to see if they feel you have PND. The great thing is you are recognising that this could be the start of this on your own so you can get early intervention if it is.
Knowing you are not alone is crucial also so your class is a great idea. Are there any others around?
Routine is key! Making sure you have something planned each day. Even if it’s just going a walk one day, sensory class the next, having a friend round the next... etc. I started walking A LOT when my first born was little. Rain or shine. I just walked and walked and it was addictive! Felt great to be out in the fresh air and helped me get my fitness back after having the baby.
Hopefully you’ll feel a bit better soon. Please keep posting for support. You’re not alone. And remember if it is PND you will get help and support from GP and things will seem brighter soon. Once your little man is a bit bigger too he’ll be your wee best friend and you’ll be thick as thieves and have a good wee routine going! Being a mummy is great but it’s hard the first few months!
Sorry for rambling!
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