PND and struggling to cope with 11 month old.

[charlottexox]

Hey ladies,
So I had my LG in August last year and she was a surprise from the start. After being told I had PCOS at 17, I assumed I would never be able to have children.
During my pregnancy, although it was healthy and went well, I was so miserable since her father and I spilt during my pregnancy. Although, he was involved in my pregnancy and the birth, we still kept our distance.
To cut a long story short, we grew closer and have now given things another go. Our relationship is so much better than the first time and we think the world of one another.
Anyway, he is a very supportive and caring partner but works 5 days a week, long hours and then I left with our LG.
I feel like I am in a bubble and I feel so disconnected to her. My partner on the other hand, bonded with her straight away but here I am, watching her sleep and wondering "will someone please just take her from me?" I am 22, so I am young and although I should count my blessings after having a "miracle baby" I just cannot but help to feel like I am in a frosted glass house. Taking care of her came naturally to me, she is never neglected and I always meet her needs but I just wish I could run away and live alone, far away from her and my partner.
My family isn't very supportive and both my parents are ill, my partners parents are in their 70's, as they had him very late in life. So feel like I cannot reach out to them for help since they are retired and old.

I have been to my GP and HV and have been put on new antidepressants but I feel like I cannot explain what and how I feel. Having her, has definitely changed my life, but I just want to cry every single time my partner leaves for work in the morning and I just feel ashamed since I see so many mothers bonding and loving their children while I am stuck in this black hole wondering how I can cope with her, counting down the hours my partner returns from work and wanting someone to just take her from me. I feel like I am in such a dark hole and it is never ending for me.
Any help please?

[starsinyourpies]

This is not you, this is post natal depression. I felt the same after my first baby and have just been to GP after second baby as I feel exactly the same, love them to bits but each day is so draining and teary whereas I am normally a very capable person. I'm hoping the antidepressants kick in for me and that they work for you, have you also been referred for counselling? My health visitor has actually been really helpful and referred me to perinatal support. Do keep asking for more help if you need it. Do you get a break at all?

[ripa81]

Exercise, sun, and tasty, healthy food. I have yet to fully investigate the possibility that a vegetarian diet improves mood, but I know that too much meat can be a problem. Make sure you get enough sleep. Probably the best thing you can do is keep good friends nearby. They can be as good as therapy. Try a new hobby also. Relaxing mama stress reducing tea is very safe and effective and it works faster than most antidepressants.