Help!

[user1491060799]

This is the first time I've written on MumsNet.

I'm really worried and feeling like I'm a danger to myself.

I was referred to a mental health team recently and have been ignoring their calls thinking I'm a strong person and they will take my child away from me.

But today, I feel like my husband and baby would be better off if i wasn't around.

I can't articulate myself so forgive me.

I don't know what's happening.

I had my hormones tested at doctors and all ok so what's going on?

My husband has taken our daughter away today to give me some time to myself but i don't want to be alone yet don't want to see anyone.

I'm a mess and worried something dangerous is going to happen as I can't think straight.

I'd never ever hurt my child. She's all I have to live for. But I'm ashamed of myself.

I had a high flying job before being a mum and considering going back to work so I'm not alone with my thoughts. But, on the flip side, work could add to my stresses.

What's happening?

I don't believe in medication to mask problems but my life is crumbling around me.

[CharliesSister]

Op, I think you're more likely to get some response for this if you copy+paste over on the Mental Health board, as in my experience thats a bit more active?

I'm sorry you're struggling like this, I'm glad your husband is supporting you.

Don't rule out medication, there are a lot of studies that show various tablets can have a real impact on helping people deal with difficult periods in their life.
The MH support services you talk of are there to help you and they aren't going to take your daughter away from you without good cause; let them help and support you.

[user1491060799]

Ok will copy across xx

[smellsofelderberries]

You sound like where I was about a month ago. I'm on two different types of medications now and I can not express how much it's given me my life back. I was almost admitted to hospital because of my PND. You need to get to your doctor and talk to them. They won't take your baby away, I promise. If you can't get into the GP you need to go to A&E for a psych consult.

This is not you, right now your brain is playing tricks on you. Right now it will seem like there are no answers, like you will never get better, but you WILL. You might just need some help (in the form of medication) to allow you the headspace to think clearly. If you were a runner and sprained your knee, you wouldn't refuse a knee brace because it would 'mask the problem', would you? This is similar. Your brain is misfiring and telling you all sorts of horrible lies, and also not allowing you to see that the lies are lies.