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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Struggling!

(5 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

HannahLouise2017 Sun 12-Mar-17 19:57:34

Desperate for some advice. My son is 4 months old and last week I returned to work. Would have loved to have been able to enjoy my full maternity but unfortunately financially it wasn't possible. My son is a brilliant baby, been so easy, I've never really struggled with lack of sleep or anything that you'd expect from being a new parent, it's been bliss. However my job is very long hours, sometimes 15 hour shifts, sometimes 10 hour night shifts and it's about 2 hours travel each way. My manager has been brilliant and works all of my shifts around my partners so we don't have to pay for childcare but naturally I've been exhausted and have been trying to catch up on sleep during the days when my partner is taking care of our son. I'm feeling so guilty about barely spending any time with him and today, before I left for work, my son wouldn't even look at me, just kept turning his head to daddy. I'm so pleased that my partner is having quality time but it's made me feel so low that he doesn't seem to be interested in me. I ended up leaving for work in tears. I don't know if this is normal and whether to worry or not. And part of me is wondering whether I should go back to being a stay at home mum. I've also been having really negative comments about me and my parenting. On my first day back I had another member of staff tell me I still looked pregnant and that I wasn't this big before I had the baby. She also told me that I should have breastfead to get my weight off, I wasn't able to breastfeed because me and my son were so ill during and after the birth, so these comments really upset me. I just don't know what to do or feel. I've never been this miserable, and I'm wondering if it's possible late Post natal depression can develop a bit later. Just at my wits end at the moment, absolutely exhausted and just feel like I'm not doing anything right. I'm seeing the health visitor Thursday to talk to her about it but I just need a bit of advice in the meantime! 😔Thank you.

P.s I have posted this in returning to work too, just desperate for advice at the moment.

FlissMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 12-Mar-17 21:38:11

Hi There HannahLouise2017,

Forgive us barging into your thread, we've posted on your other thread too as we're so sorry to hear how low you're feeling right now. We don't doubt you'll find MN a great source of support but nothing can replace real life help so please do seek that out too.

We hope things look a lot brighter for you soon,
flowers

anametouse Mon 13-Mar-17 20:16:50

Your work colleague is an arsehole and I would tell them that! Or complain.

Is it the first time your son wouldn't look at you? Just because my DS wouldn't look at me today, spent all day staring at daddy and I'm still on maternity and very much DS favourite - it was just a daddy day today!

Long term can you look at a different job?

Bella1985 Mon 13-Mar-17 21:48:40

The comments from your colleague are absolutely awful - they're spiteful and mean. Pay no attention to them, its only been 4 months! FWIW I'm breastfeeding and have gained half a stone since the birth, I'm so exhausted, food is the only thing that keeps me awake during feeds and I haven't enjoyed the first 10 weeks very much so not everyone loses weight bf and you're very lucky to be able to describe the first months as 'bliss'. Sorry to hear your work is so tiring though, that sounds tough. Agree with anametouse about the daddy day, my DS seems to be watching his daddy's every move at the moment and I feel like just his milk machine, I'm chuffed that he's bonding with his dad but am looking forward to the days when he'll call for mummy for comfort and not just for milk. I'm sure your baby will be happy to see you too, he's still young, he'll soon be shouting 'mummy' excitedly when you walk through the door.

I'm not making light of how you're feeling at all, it is worth talking to your hv and gp about it all. Going back to work for such long hours must be incredibly hard, but you're doing it to provide for your baby, you are doing a great job as a mum. Get as much support as you can. I just wanted to send you flowers

HannahLouise2017 Wed 15-Mar-17 18:23:32

Thank you for your replies. Definitely feeling a lot better and seeing my HV tomorrow. Little man I think was having a few Daddy Days! But he is back to normal with me now which has made me feel a lot better. Still absolutely exhausted but had some lovely responses on this thread and the back to work thread and it has really helped knowing that I'm not the only one! xx

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