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Feeling down after having baby?(3 Posts)
I had my baby boy 8 weeks ago, and at first I felt fine. I didn't so much as get the baby blues. I was overwhelmed with visitors, had OH's parents to stay from 2-4 weeks old and I just feel like I have been constantly responding to messages and on Facebook. He is 8 weeks old as I say now, and I just feel really really sad. Like sad it is all over and sad that I'm not pregnant anymore. I wish I had enjoyed it more instead of worrying and made the most of his early weeks instead of entertaining others or replying to facebook messages. We went to Mothercare the other day and surrounded by pregnant women I burst into tears! I love my boy and at the time I couldn't wait to get the birth over and NOT be pregnant but now I almost wish I could go back or be pregnant again soon! Its like that feeling you get when christmas is all over and you take the decorations down!? Thats how I feel but all day every day. I feel jealous when friends announce they are pregnant, and the fact he's growing out of his first size clothes and starting to sleep etc more in the night makes me so sad! Is this normal, is it like a hormone thing?
I just feel like I didn't make the most of such a special time and now I can't have it back
I don't know if it's normal but I absolutely feel the same way. Mine has come about because we've found out recently that my DD tore everything down on the way out, so I need extensive physio and at this point can't imagine going through another pregnancy as it could make my problems a lot worse. So, I'm facing the very real prospect that I will never be pregnant again, and that kills me. I loved being pregnant, I was awesome at it. I felt amazing. I love my DD but I've found most people just ask about her and I am slightly invisible now. I am jealous of other pregnant women and wish I could go back so I could have a c-section and not be facing these problems.
I also find it hard with DD growing so fast as it feels like I have missed so much due to focusing on my own physical problems. I see my family every few months and have hardly any photos of her with my mum and my sisters and that makes me so sad. I've found that, while it is amazing having her here, I am extra sensitive to most things and it's something I'm seeing a therapist for. Even melancholic music in a department store can bring me to tears.
Did you try for a while before falling pregnant? It took us 12 months with a MMC at 11 weeks during that time, so it's about 2 years since we first started trying. That's been the focus for so long that it's a bit surreal to be on the other side. Kind of like, oh, this is just LIFE now?! And in regards to feeling like you've wasted the first 8 weeks, your DS is only 8 weeks. You have another 44 weeks until he's one. That's a lot of time. I find it nice to have photos printed every so often and when I realise I have about 40 favourite photos of my DD's first 17 weeks, I realise how much we HAVE done. Also, keep a journal. I have a password protected journal app on my phone and whenever I'm feeling something or wishing I could remember something, I jot it down, almost as if I'm writing my DD a letter. I enjoy reading those back occasionally and remember the little things she used to do that I'd already forgotten about.
DS is 6 months old now and I love him more than anything but I felt (still do sometimes) exactly the same! I thought it was just me! I don't really feel sad, but I definitely miss being pregnant and feel jealous of other pregnant friends.
It's so weird and I have no idea if it's hormonal or what but just know that you are not alone and I'm sure the feelings will pass.
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