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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Could this be PND?

(5 Posts)
Barefootcontessa84 Sun 05-Mar-17 09:55:30

Hi all

Just wanted some opinions on whether this is totally normal, or whether it sounds like the beginnings of PND.

A bit of background - my baby was born 4 weeks ago, at 33 weeks gestation due to preeclampsia. She was in the NICU for two weeks, home for three days before being readmitted again for another week. We have now been home for almost a week.

I adore her, but I have this overwhelming feeling of sadness that I don't want her to grow up - she's still tiny, so I do want her to get healthier/stronger etc, but I can't bear how fast time is going. I feel like I've set myself up for a lifetime of pain as I have brought something into the world I desperately want to protect, but I know I won't be able to forever. I am already dreading the day she will move from her first 'early baby' sleepsuits into tiny baby.

I also feel like I'm getting further and further away from her birth, and the reality of it was horrible, as were the ensuing weeks in NICU, but for some reason I want to go back and do it again. I don't know whether it's because the pregnancy ended so abruptly and it was very much out of my control.

I feel so guilty that I couldn't keep my daughter inside for longer, and I felt sick each and every time she screamed when they cannulated her, or did some other procedure.

I hate feeling like this, and just want to enjoy every stage and let go a little. I find myself wanting to cry a few times a day about either her vulnerability and the enormity of what I feel for her, or the fact that time is going to take it all away.

Any insights (normal hormones/PND/perhaps PTSD from the birth...?) would be appreciated.

Many thanks

purpleviolet1 Sun 05-Mar-17 09:58:34

No experience but didn't want to read and run. Congrats on your baby! I think what you are feeling is totally normal after such traumatic events. Mention to the health visitor and GP. It's important to have support. Do you have family / friends close by? If it carries on and intensifies further then it could well turn into PND and as I understand it, the quicker treatment is started the better it will be overall. All the best'

Barefootcontessa84 Sun 05-Mar-17 14:58:24

Thank you for your reply - I will mention it to the HV or GP - I have briefly mentioned it to my DH but feel a bit silly and try and downplay actually what I'm feeling. I know that's unlikely to help... such a tricky time!

purpleviolet1 Sun 05-Mar-17 20:52:21

Yes - gp and health visitor will ask you to fill a form (I'm sure midwife told us this at antenatal classes) and she said just be 100% with your answers. Do get the help / support you need. Well done for recognising it, that's the first step to recovery smile

purpleviolet1 Mon 13-Mar-17 22:36:24

Hey, how did you get on?

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