Any experiences or consequences of a second degree tear after stitches broke down/left unstitched

[Idonthaveenoughtime]

Can anyone tell me their experiences of healing a second degree tear without stitches, either intentionally or by accident? Im worried this is going to effect my sex life more than anything....either make it tight/stiff/painful or on the other hand make it too loose down there, or all the above lol. I'm wondering if replacement of muscle with granulation tissue will make it difficult to orgasm or control the pelvic floor muscles or if it will make the vagina laxer, etc...I had a bit of first degree external tearing and the repair isn't as I'd like but I can live with that, I can't live with functional problems and I'm upset that on top of the external issue the internal ones have actually fallen out a few days later for whatever reason! I'm told the stitches coming away mean the muscle and skin will have to heal by secondary intention, eventually, how long is eventually?! Im afraid to exercise or even crouch down to pick things up, my stitches popped whilst simply lifting off a seat to rearrange my rear view mirror. Also I don't understand why the muscle wasn't stitched seperately? I thought two layers of stitches for muscle and skin was standard practice? The midwife spent five minutes stitching which doesn't seem long enough. There is no record of how many stitches were placed. I've asked an obstetrician who was either evasive or patronising, I'm not sure which, but answered none of my questions. The tear is at. 5 o clock position on the posterior vaginal wall and I'm told is about a fingers width wide and an inch long and has just gone into the top layer of muscle so it should have been minor and not have had long term consequences...if this hadnt . My stitches are still hanging loose there just not holding anything together!
Anyway, did anyone need a repair later or other procedure, and what problems necessitated that? Did it help? Did it reopen in future births? Did anyone find it made no difference to sex life...or it did and they lived with it? Also, how long did it take to heal?

Thanks! I'm just not sure what to expect and want to be prepared for all eventualities.

[user148810925]

My episiotomy hasn't healed yet. My youngest child is 6 (years, not weeks or months). Sex is impossible, and my scar was split open again when I had a smear test. I'm awaiting a surgical repair but it's desperately slow on the NHS. The botox they gave me helped a bit but not enough. It's pretty horrendous.

[user1484068687]

I had a burst episiotomy 10 months ago due to an infection and was advised against restitching because of this. Like you my stitches were hanging loose! Not nice at all! They only dissolved completely before my 6 week check up.
It was probably 3 months before I started to notice the cut healing. Thought it was never going to happen at one stage. After 6 months was when it had healed as much as it was going to. So the part of the cut that goes of to an angle healed the rest didn't. Hope that makes sense.
With regards to sex it was painful at first, could definitely feel where the scar was and where the tissue didn't heal. It has got better with time although it does feel a bit looser than before. Wearing tampons is trickier than before and can be painful if I don't change every couple of hours.
I'm now at the stage where some days I don't even give it a thought. Not sure how far after birth you are but I know at first for me it felt as though it was never going to get better.
I've not been back to docs in a few months but planning to as like you want to know what happens if I have any other children and whether it's worth now restitching....