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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Please can someone reassure me they/their partner got through PND?

(12 Posts)
ColdBrew Fri 21-Oct-16 20:44:10

DP has post-natal depression. It's come on fully in the last 5 or 6 days. The doctor has been brilliant and she is getting help (medicines and referred to therapy), but the last few days have been really scary.

I would really really like to be reassured by people who've had or seen PND up close...or at least tell it to me straight what I can expect over the next weeks and months. Thanks.

JennyOnAPlate Fri 21-Oct-16 21:55:42

Hi cold, I had pnd after the birth of dd1 eight years ago. Each case is different but I can tell you about my experience if it will help.

My health visitor picked up on my pnd at dds 6 week check, and referred me to my gp. A supportive gp is vital, so I'm so pleased that your dp has found hers to be the same. I was prescribed fluoxetine (Prozac) which i began taking straight away, and noticed a difference after a couple of weeks.

What I needed most was time. For a couple of months Dh, who was working full time, had to take over all housework and cooking etc because getting out of bed and caring for a baby all day was all I could cope with. I felt completely overwhelmed by everything and just wanted to hide from the world and sleep as much as possible.

After a few months on Prozac and some counselling (which i found incredibly helpful) I took myself off the tablets. I recovered fully, and didn't develop pnd again after the birth of dd2.

It's important that you get some support in place for yourself...confide in a friend or family member because your dp can't offer you any support herself at this time.

I hope that's helpful but do pm me if you want to chat.

DariaJask95 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:50:33

Hi suffered from it for over 4 months. It was really tough as I didn't tell anyone about it. I had all sorts of thoughts from anxiety to self harming. My husband tried his best but it's one of those things that you have to fight with yourself. I got through it without any pills. Strong will power is the key.

Everything is possible!! Good luck

DariaJask95 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:51:44

But look after yourself too!!

phoenix1973 Mon 14-Nov-16 22:05:18

I had it for 5 years.
It wAs hell on earth.
I'm much better now but still not my old self and never will be.
My child is now 10.
I did not have sex with partner for over 4 years. I was broken inside and out.
I needed time, non judgement, someone to listen to my dark feelings. All the things most people cannot provide.
And all that time, I had to put my child first and help her to grow when I just wanted to curl up and die.
Ironically, I went on meds for depression when I returned to customer service work when my child was 5.
I don't know if starting pt work helped me recover my identity or whether the Meds I started taking 8 months into my new job helped me.
I was on the meds for 2 years and gradually came off them.
I will always suffer with depression.
You will need to be her rock. I hope you all can get through it.

DariaJask95 Tue 15-Nov-16 12:04:34

Im not judging I get it smile

booox Tue 15-Nov-16 12:07:41


I'm so sort to hear you are all experiencing this.

There is an amazing charity and support group called pandas who might be able to offer some extra support. Most of the volunteers have experienced it them selves. I wonder if chatting to them could help you or your wife? Some areas have monthly meetings too.

booox Tue 15-Nov-16 12:08:02

*so sorry blush

rebeccaroskellthomas Fri 18-Nov-16 11:56:03

I suffered with PND/PNA after having my daughter a year ago. It was so scary but about 4 months after her birth I started on medication. After about 2-3 weeks on them I felt like a new person and still do. Be there for her, talk to her as much as she wants you to but also look after yourself. It is so hard not being able to 'fix' the person you love. She will be OK eventually but it is hard. No one talks about it enough unfortunately.

PeppaAteMySoul Fri 18-Nov-16 12:01:31

I did. It was truly awful. I thought I/ our family would never recover. DS is now 3.5 years and we are about to have another baby. I am scared the same thing may happen again but know with support/ understanding/ love and medication if it does we will get through it again.

Ouriana Fri 18-Nov-16 12:09:50

I had awful PND and my partner was an absolute rock to me, but I never understood, cared or even thought about him at the time.

Looking back I made his life hell for several months. I truly hated him for no reason and blamed him for all my imaginary problems, and he stood by me and supported me. Now I am better I have apologised and made it up to him, but please take care to look after yourself too and make sure you are also getting help and support. Living with someone with severe MH problems is not easy!

Flanderspigeonmurderer Fri 18-Nov-16 12:11:54

It's going to be hard but with help she can get better. Are you able to take any time off to be with her and take her to appointments? Routine was good for me so you could help her with keeping up with that, if that's what she wants. Perhaps have a time in the evening when she can debrief-so tell you about her day, how she's been feeling, what she has worried about. You don't need to offer solutions to every problem, just letting things out is helpful. You could encourage her to write in a diary.
She may seem detached, try not to take it personally, its the illness.
And make time to look after yourself, you can't help her if you are not well. Best of luck to you both.

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