Help

[usernoidea]

My son is 4 weeks old and I'm ashamed to say that I've not found it enjoyable at all.
Right now I feel that I made the wrong decision becoming a mum and miss my old life so much
Should I ride this out or is this pretty normal...?
Bit of relevant background - I'm bipolar and I moved away from my home town to live with my partner (baby's dad) and know no one here so everyday is a very lonely hard slog.
I don't feel "depressed" just like I've made a mistake.
My son is really cute but I don't feel a huge bond with him......
Please be kind in replies - I feel bad enough already!

[Kazups22]

The fact that you feel bad about it shows you love him already. Or care at least to want to do something about it. The bond will come. My daughter is 14 weeks and i truthfully only felt like a mother gradually over the last few weeks. Dont get me wrong i still miss my old life and some days wish i could go back but those are just passing thoughts now rather than drowning feelings like they were before. Its surprising how many people have told me they didnt feel that immediate rush of love so dont worry and try to take it a day at a time

[usernoidea]

Thanks so much for your kind words - it's helped a lot! X
Well done on getting to week 14! X

[Applesauce29]

It took me months to bond fully with my first born and adjust to being at home and having very little time to myself, and I also didn't have many friends with babies. Getting out of the house once a day (even just to buy a coffee and magazine) helped a lot, and I did eventually meet people at mother and baby groups - can't say we became great friends (lots moved away) but met up with babies for coffee once a week which passed time and allowed me to vent about baby stuff. The very first few weeks really are quite dull - just try and rest and recover from birth, and get sleep during the day if you can -sleep deprivation always made me feel worse.

[LauLau93]

My daughter is 5 weeks today and sometimes i think "oh no what the hell have i done?" But from what ive heard most parents at some point have asked the exact same question. It doesnt mean youre a bad person or a bad mom, these first few weeks are a ball ache. They're hard. Edpecially doing the days alone (i have to too). As for the bond, im not sure there as i feel as though I've bonded with her very well but like others have said, it may take some time but im sure it will come.

I cannot recommend that you read a book called The Unmummsy Mum enough. It will make you realise you're normal also, its hilarious.

[MrsMxo]

My baby is 3 months and i still have those same feelings, when he cries i think " wow, why would anyone want a life like this!?" But then i look at him and i realise exactly why people have children. As for wanting your old life back, i feel that too a lot. I think its normal, it's such a huge life changing thing and nobody can really prepare you for it when you're pregnant. The reality of having a baby is so so different too what you see on films and advertisements. If i was you i would ride it out, i found that once my baby started too smile and laugh i found everything so much easier. Up until then they can't give you much back. You're really not on your own.. and if your baby is warm, clean and fed then you're doing an absolutely brilliant job!