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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Feeling rejected

(2 Posts)
MangoandKiwi Tue 13-Sep-16 03:54:25

NC as don't want anyone to be identified.
I had DC3 just under a fortnight ago. have DS1 (5) and DS2 (3) who are besotted with their new sibling.
I'm struggling. Struggling with DS2 who I feel is rejecting me. I keep trying to rationalise it by telling myself he is only 3 but I feel dejected, low and tearful about this. We have paternal grandparents up and DS2 has been going to them for cuddles, affection and just attention in general. I have been there and he has not come to me when given a choice. I am trying to be affectionate with him but am feeling second best. This hurts so much. I feel like a worthless mum and am projecting affection onto DS1 who is affectionate back to compensate and feel wanted by a child of mine.
Yesterday, I barely saw DS2. He was out with DH and grandparents all morning and early afternoon. I then went out in the afternoon with newborn to the shops to do grocery shopping and school run. (Couldn't go earlier as DH had the car). No interest shown by DS2 to say hello to mummy when he came home and to join me whilst I was out. (This is not typical of him). Again, I felt like he was not bothered about me at all.
Last night when DS2 was in bed asleep, I held him and had a good weep. The only time I can feel close to him and not rejected is when he is asleep. I feel like I'm not cut out to be a good mum to ALL my children and that they would be better off without me.
I know it is petty to project efforts into DS1 and not DS2 but if I am being honest, I'm upset he doesn't show interest in mummy any more (he did before baby) despite me trying hard to continue all the things we did before such as spending time reading stories, praising him, playing, etc.
Just feel so upset, worthless and can't see a way out of these feelings.

Rubytuesday2980 Tue 13-Sep-16 04:31:10

I can't leave this unanswered, although I only have one DC so can't offer any practical advice regarding other children. However, I can say that you need to remember that you only had a baby two weeks ago! Firstly, please be kind to yourself and ring your MW/HV in the morning and tell them how you are feeling, it sounds like you could do with some support. Secondly, your children will always need you, whether they show it or not.

Please talk to someone who can help you understand how you are feeling.

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