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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Overly scared!

(4 Posts)
JulieC1981 Mon 21-Mar-16 18:53:05

My little one is two weeks old tomorrow and my Husband is going back to work in a few days. I'm overly scared of being on my own with him when he is crying uncontrollably and me not being able to figure out what is wrong with him. I know its a process of elimination but the fear of this is making me feel overwhelmed and I'm crying randomly about it.

holeinmyheart Mon 21-Mar-16 21:01:33

Mmmmmmm you need help and need to say this to your HV. Also she might give you the contact no for Homestart. They are a charity that help families with children under five.
Remember that your baby will not die of crying. It cries because that is what babies do. The world is new and strange for them and they react to, too much light, too much food, too little food, feeling insecure, being cold, being hot. Etc etc

When you feed him, make sure that he is winded, preferably hear a burp.. Wind is bloody painful for a new baby. Try some gripe water.
An indication of not enough food is becoming sleepy. As long as your baby is putting on weight, they are getting enough food.

So how can you get the little monster off to sleep ? Feed, burb, warm and then wrap him up tightly. ( you can unwrap him when you put him in his cot/ pram.
Then with your feet apart ( and your ear phones in playing your favourite music) bend your knees and rock the little darling up and down. Not side to side. You are exercising your thighs, rock rhythmically. He was rocked fairly violently in your womb and will love it. So don't be afraid of being energetic.

People wil say, oh don't do as they will get used to it, but I used a dummy and a few rocks and then they were asleep. It was preferably to listening to my babies screaming , which I couldn't stand and I was exercising at the same time.

Then when they are asleep ( make sure you have the side down on the cot and slowly ease them in. Warm the spot with a microwaveable hot water bottle first if you can. You don't want a freezing cold spot to wake them up . Also how do you like getting into a cold bed ?
As you ease them in, put your hand on the side of their arms and gently continue rocking them up and down. Then ease your hands off very slowly and creep out.
Then a quick relaxing shower and off to bed yourself.
Also I went out with the pram and walked. It was good for us to be out. Yes you will be dog tired but fresh air does lift our spirits. ( you could just stay at home and drink spirits, but spirits depress you even more)
Best of luck......try and relax as much as you can, as this bit won't last forever. Worrying and anxiety makes things worse. Think of all the babies and mums who have survived this bit and you will both be fine.

Hugs....we have all been there and it's a bugger. I thought what have I done!

JulieC1981 Mon 21-Mar-16 21:43:50

Thank you so much for the advice, I haven't heard of home start so will mention it to my HV when I see her next week. He isn't a Hugh fan of walks yet, taking him out every day for short walks to try and get him used to it and then hopefully I can use this to help. He does like the car so if all else fails a drive is a s good plan.anf having my music on in my ear quietly is a great idea as it might help keep me from losing my mind x

holeinmyheart Tue 22-Mar-16 07:36:03

What you are experiencing is one of the most stressful events of your life. Your baby is yelling and as Mothers we are programmed to react. The effect of the yelling has a both both a physical and mental effect on us, and can be torture and is also heightened by the fear of the unknown. As in 'why is he/she doing this? I need to protect it and stop

BUT THEY DONT DIE OF YELLING and babies cry. Any Mother who tells you that their baby never cried is lying.
However, how they reacted or managed the baby can depend on the Mothers personality and experience.
If you don't try and relax about this stage of your babies life then what is the alternative? You are crying and stressed, the baby is crying and stressed and you end up hating it. Don't think Mothers don't hate their babies crying, because they do.
So when your baby cries, check if it needs feeding or changing or winding and nothing is sticking in it, sing a song to it ( I used to sing tunelessly ' why don't you go to sleep and let me read my book' ) etc, rock it, and then put it down carefully.

Get a dummy. Put it into its mouth and rock it with the dummy in its mouth. I took it away after five months as it had served its purpose. But they love to suck.

You have then done your bit for a few hours. New born babies need feeding a little and often, they don't know you are tired and frightened. Just go with the flow. Let the house go, buy ready meals, make life easy for yourself until the baby gets into a routine and you feel more confident.

If you don't, you are possibly heading for PND and that will not benefit anyone. You will also look back and think, why did I get my knickers in such a twist? It was just a yelling baby.....they all yell.

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