Returning to work anxiety

[Sheepoverthemoon]

Not sure if this is in right section?
I have a 6 month old and I have 5 months before I return to work.
I'm getting extreme separation anxiety over it. My friend has returned today and I've had a panic attack and broke my heart over it.
Up til now I've left my lo at 5 months for the first time, three times - 30 mns, 1hr & 2 hrs with her dad (were together).
Him and my mum are the only people I trust with her, but I'm even struggling at the thought of leaving her with my mum.
I guess we've naturally done attachment parenting, she is my shadow. I bf her, carry her in the sling and she sleeps in a sidecot attached to my bed.
She is starting to wean on solids and becoming more idenpendent but she is very much a 'Velcro baby'.

I have such extreme anxiety over returning to work I don't know what I'm going to do. I've even begged my hubby to let me quit work but he said it's just not realistic...
I feel so lost

[Dixiechick17]

I'd recommend speaking to your HV about your anxiety. I had anxiety a few months back and my HV came to see me and was a really help. My DD is 8 months old, I was due back to work end of January but delayed it by two months because of my anxiety. She started nursery one day a week at six months which has been a big help for me being away from her, and is now doing two days a week. This is all to get me used to being away from her when I go back to work next month and she is at nursery three days a week. It's not easy and I have to keep myself massively busy on the days she is there.

[Sunflower1985]

Hello. I had this (still do to some extent - although I've been back at work nearly 2 years). I had therapy (nhs) and wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise. Is this an option for you?

Despite the time passed I still find leaving him hard, but reality is we couldn't afford to live on my DHs salary. Plus it's important that ds has his independence blah blah blah

[Sheepoverthemoon]

Thank you for your supportive messages, it's nice to not feel alone.

Dixiechick17, my HV are not brilliant and I don't feel like I can talk to them without them being concerned and them deciding what's best and me having to go along with it, if that makes sense, mainly because she frequently breastfeeds overnight and they are not keen on that idea.
I'm lucky that lo won't have to go to nursery, we are working opposite shifts so we will look after her between us and my mum once a month. My hubby has booked me into a day spa with my mum for mothers day, this will be the first day I have left her at 7 months old. I'm going to try and have more days out and for hubby to look after her to get used to it, thanks I think this will help.

Sunflower1985, what was the therapy? Did you get it via your GP? I'm not good at talking to strangers, did you find it easier than you thought it would be?

Thanks :-)

[LocatingLocatingLocating]

There is a BIG difference leaving a 6month old and leaving an 11 month old.

I had to go back to work when my DC1 was 7 months old, and it was hard. I was very emotional about it. She seemed so tiny, was only just sitting up, still bfing a lot.

With my DC2 I went back at 12 months and it was a whole different ball game! He was starting to crawl, becoming much more active and aware (and a handful ), and it seemed fine.

Give it time, and don't presume you will always feel the way you do now.