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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Would a birth debrief help?

(3 Posts)
TippetyTapWriter Tue 24-Nov-15 22:53:04

Hi all,

My ds was born 6 months ago by elcs as he was breech. The section itself went ok, but he developed breathing difficulties a few minutes after birth and was taken to scbu before I got to see or hold him. I didn't know why he was taken to scbu at the time. Dh went with the baby and I was wheeled off to recovery without any explanation. No idea why I didn't kick up a fuss at the time other than shock etc. After being in recovery for an hour, a paediatrician arrived and promptly told me ds had several birth defects and might need chromosomal screening to check for genetic conditions. He was then transferred to another hospital, to nicu, as they thought he might need an operation. After a few more scary diagnoses and a week in nicu he was eventually given the all clear. Basically there was nothing at all wrong with him other than the breathing problems (fluid in lungs due to cs) and a hydrocele. The doctors at the second hospital more or less said they had no idea what the first doctor was on about.

I think to begin with I was just relieved ds was fine, though the first week before we got the all clear was absolutely devastating. The worst time of my life. Recently I find myself dwelling on it and wondering what the doctor saw to give me such an awful diagnosis. It did very badly affect my bond with ds. I hadn't even seen him when she told me about all his supposed birth defects, so I was imagining such terrible things. I was scared to see him, and scared to love him, however awful that sounds.

Basically I feel like I need to talk to someone and get some explanation or closure. Would a birth debrief help as the issue wasn't with the birth itself but with what happened afterwards? Also we have since moved out of the area so ds's outpatient care has been transferred to another hospital (he gets followed up due to scbu stay and hydrocele). I haven't had an appointment with the paediatrician here but am tempted to ask for their opinion when I do. Can't get away from the feeling that the first doctor was somehow right and suddenly someone will spot that ds has xyz condition.

Thanks for reading. Any help appreciated.

nilbyname Tue 24-Nov-15 23:02:39

Absolutely ask for a debriefing. I had a transfix birth with my pfb and it helped me enormously. He was also under pediatric care for 18months so he would get a going over every few months. The bury was horrendous and we almost died but the aftercare was amazing.

Push for what you need, ask to see your notes.

ayria Thu 26-Nov-15 13:45:39

I'm sure your son will have his own records, I think separate from your birth notes. You can look at both whenever you want to arrange for it. It will help getting an explanation for their concerns.

All sounds very stressful flowers

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